And some day, when a homeless teenager looks into my eyes

Yesterday I stood on the edge of the Washington pier just looking at the water.

A big boat that said “Alaska Ferry” was just a few feet in front of me.

Every once in a while,

like for one moment every few months,

I experience an “I may throw up now because this is so much bigger than my whole life and what in the world am I doing?” moment.

Yesterday was one of those.

(I’m good now.)

About 7 years ago, God placed these words in my head, “YOU ARE MOVING.”

I’d love to tell you that I listened and obeyed that day…

but… not so much.

The thing is… I think we all have a bigger Calling than we realize and many times we miss it because we’re doing stuff WE want to do instead of waiting on The Lord and asking Him what HIS plans are for our lives.

It’s not that He can’t eventually help His plans work out for His Glory but choosing to really follow Him is a choice we each have to make for ourselves. The whole “die to ourselves thing” and “follow Him” are real, every day choices.

And that includes giving Him our time.

And I’m not talkin’ about just going around doing good things for people. That’s cool and there are many benefits to that but I’m talking about ASKING God to guide us.

If a coach stands on the sidelines and we don’t constantly ask for his help or listen to His coaching… what’s THAT about?!

Pray without ceasing.  Try this.  Pray to God all through the day and at night any time you wake up.  Prayer unlocks things that no other key can open.  (I know this because there were many weeks and years of my life that I didn’t pray much at ALL.)

The Alaska Ferry is HUGE.

I don’t even know what is across that water waiting for me.

But God put this fire in my heart and the pull is so strong that I am lookin’ like a fool, following Him – a thousand miles away from my comfort zone.

As I stood there, I wondered about people talked about in The Bible and when God showed them something bigger than themselves.

I thought about how a person felt when nobody else knew yet what God’s plan was.

I thought about the people watching Noah build that ark.

I thought about Mary who knew Jesus was in her belly but how silly did she sound when she told anyone else?

I thought about Joseph and that he didn’t believe her.  He didn’t believe so much that he was going to quietly divorce her.

Can you IMAGINE the loneliness Mary must have felt just then?

I thought about David going to face Goliath.

Was he afraid?

The very Power of God was in those rocks as David took down Goliath.

And THAT Power is with us today.

Jesus said The Holy Spirit is with us to guide us.

What does that look like today in 2016?  How does God “Call” us?

When someone tells you he or she feels called by God, who is to say it’s not truth?

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I know that until God did this work in me, while I did believe He COULD do this kind of thing, I had never experienced it for myself before.

So I can understand why some people would wonder if He really does still work in our lives like that.

He does.

Following Him is lonely.  But it’s worth it.

The Alaska Ferry costs $8,000 to $9,000 for our family of 4, the truck, and our camper trailer to go from Washington to Alaska.

God does not need money to accomplish what He wants to do.

WE may feel limited by money or other resources but God is not limited.

I cannot limit Him.

And it’s not even that.

I mean, it’s not even just the ferry getting us TO Alaska.  It’s after we’re there, then what?  God is MORE than capable of leading and providing land, help, money, people, and everything needed to do this work He’s put on our hearts.

The actual homeless camp or whatever it will be probably will cost millions of dollars.

And THAT reality makes the ferry tickets seem insignificant in comparison.

I don’t know HOW He’s doing this.

If I could SEE how, would that be called faith?

I cannot SEE how this homeless teen place can happen but He’s given me assurance that He’s doing this work with our family so we will keep praying and keep walking in faith as He leads.

And some day, when a homeless teenager looks into my eyes asking for some reason to live, and wondering if anyone loves her, I will read this blog post to her and tell her God put her in my heart before I ever met her.  And somehow He will make it all enough.

And I will tell her I almost threw up yesterday standing by the water wondering how God will finish this work He’s started in me.

I will tell her how God moved mountains and turned our lives upside down just to move our family to celebrate her life.

I will tell her I’m sorry I wasted time not understanding that SHE was why God’s message of “YOU ARE MOVING” was so important to listen to.

She needed a safe place to stay and people who would care what happens to her.

I will pray with her and hold her hand while we ask for God to lead her life and show her His plans for her.

And I will praise Him there, living more than a thousand miles away from my comfort zone (maybe almost throwing up.)

 

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Yes. We are praying for and expecting a miracle.

Please share this story.

I didn’t even have my pictures online.

That was not by accident.  I was hiding.

That story is for another time although there is a letter ABOUT and TO a child molester somewhere in my blog called “You stole pieces of me and left me broken and afraid.” (December 2, 2013)

That was just the beginning of me believing satan’s lies that I was worth nothing and pretty much only good for sex.

(More of that story later.)

We’re living by faith right now.

Every day I ask God what He wants me to do “today.”

He has moved me way out of my comfort zone by being online on Facebook, Twitter, a blog, and a Facebook page for the blog.  Anyone who knew me before God moved me online knows that I was the biggest NOT fan of social media.  God moved me online to find support (prayer warriors, financial, connections, etc.) for this move to Alaska.

God was tugging at my heart just about 3 years ago telling me we were going to be moving.  I was totally NOT wanting to hear that because I loved the church we were going to.  I even told one of the elders there that I could never move because I loved that church too much.

Some people who are VERY gossipy started talking about our family and about stuff they wouldn’t even know at all if we hadn’t been open and honest about our lives and asked for prayers about it in the first place.

The rumors got so bad we were not able to worship there anymore.  We had to find another church.

God’s been leading us and I know (NOW) that I HAD to give up THAT church because it was a reason I did not want to listen to God telling us we were going to move.  (So you know that verse 1st Thessalonians 5:18?  Well God’s teaching me that one REALLY well.)

So over the past 2 years we’ve been on a journey of giving up and not even really on purpose.

We gave up TV (no more satellite or anything and our kids are totally in agreement with this),

my husband and I both stopped smoking (I read a book.  Allen Carr The Easy Way To Stop Smoking.  One of THE best books EVER),

I cut my hair (an ex boyfriend used to tell me how ugly I was when my hair was short or in a ponytail so this was a really big deal to me.  Turns out I’ve gotten MORE compliments on my short hair than I ever did when it was long),

my favorite car EVER was totaled when it was barely bumped in a parking lot by a guy who was texting and not watching where he was going (I cried over metal. That one’s frustrating. It’s just a car. But I’ll admit I cried over it.  Silly beat up old 1996 Nissan.  I miss that car),

and I let go of my worry over money and we started giving our first of paychecks (and also whenever and wherever God leads us to give more).

Oh and I gave my kids over to God trusting Him that He will take care of them.  I’d never done that before.  Though I’ve heard of parents dedicating their children to the Lord, I was too afraid to speak that.  But now I did.

BIG 2 years.  NOW we believe WHERE we’ll be moving is Wasilla, Alaska.  (Never been to Alaska.  And don’t have a house yet.  But God is very big and I’m not worried.)

We know WHAT we’ll be doing is starting and running a teen homeless kinda place.  (Never done this before but our past sure will come in helpful and it makes sense that this would be just the thing God would lead us to do.  My husband and I talked about this before we got married.  We both knew we’d be working with teens at a teenage hang out kinda place but didn’t know how, where, or when

~until now.)

And we know WHEN looks like April 1st.  (Didn’t get to move then but we know God’s timing is the right timing for everything.  Prayers please?)

We do not know HOW He’s moving us yet because we cannot do this God-sized job on our own.  (Yes.  We are praying for and expecting a miracle.)

So we’re listening and following as the Holy Spirit leads us.

We’re on a Walk of Faith.  (Never been on one of those.  That name just fits what’s going on so now we have a name for it.)

Stick around and see what God can do with me.  I believed satan’s lies for over 35 years that I was worth nothing.  I was nobody.  That old devil was wrong.  I am somebody and God has shown me that because I was just not able to see it for myself.

Now I will spend the rest of my life as long as God gives me breath telling YOU that YOU are somebody, too (in case nobody tells you that.)  You should get to hear it.  Because it’s true.

We are a close family who works, plays, and prays together.  Whatever happens, we will praise Him.  We appreciate any prayers and support of any kind.

What YOU can do:  Please spread the word for us?  Share this?

https://www.facebook.com/itisallaboutfaithblog

https://itisallaboutfaithblog.wordpress.com/

https://twitter.com/GodMakeMeEnough

Thank you and God bless your life so big that you cannot help but notice Him.

Okay back to packing.