Today my husband painted my toenails.

Our marriage has been under attack for years. We have been through so much. There is one thing we can agree on. God has been The One to hold us together.

God has put a love in my heart for this stubborn man and He’s put a love in my husband’s heart for this impossible woman!

If it wasn’t for God doing work in our lives, I wouldn’t even be writing here at all.

I shouted, “Let me in!” I cried, “Why do you have these walls built so high?” I tried to tell my husband for years what I needed.

I felt as if he never heard me. (Probably because he didn’t.)

My husband only was able to hear me when my spirit was finally quiet.

The problem with my spirit getting quieter was that part of me was giving up on believing we’d ever have a real, honest, deep relationship with each other.

 

Today my husband painted my toenails.

This takes me being quiet and letting him love on me.

This takes me not correcting him when he’d miss the nail.

This takes me letting go of control and letting him brush side to side instead of how I’d do it.

This takes him listening to me when I tell him water on a paper towel may not take the paint off my skin as well and that a cotton ball and polish remover will work better.

This takes us both letting go of something and listening to each other to get somewhere better.

And I’d rather have this intimate time with him than perfectly painted toenails.

 

I’m praying over your marriage today, also.

God, please touch marriages everywhere and make them into the healthy, beautiful relationships You intended them to be. Please help us let hurts go and be trustworthy for each other. Please help us be transparent; not hiding anything from each other. Please remind us how to show respect to each other and speak softer when we feel upset. God, I pray now for marriages that have yet to happen. Please guide us to be the best husbands and wives we can be. Please give us more moments of husbands painting toenails. Thank You for marriage. We love you, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

 

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This IS the time of your life.

We talk about “spending” time.

“How did you spend the time on vacation?” “How much time did it take to finish that project?” “The time you took to repair that issue was time well spent.”

You can spend money
and you can get more.

But not time.

We each have a specific number of minutes, hours, and days.
When our time is up, where have we spent it?

We CANNOT get more time.

What is wasting your time? Did you hear how we say that?
“YOUR” time? Like it’s just a casual thing…
but
Where did your time come from?

“Spend” some of “your” time, the time that God has gifted to you, talking to Him. Just stop a minute now to speak to Him. Your conversation is something He wants very much. He is jealous for YOU.

“Daddy, what do YOU want me to do today?”

What if your child woke up one day and said, “Daddy, what do YOU want me to do today?”

And then did this every day.

HOW much does that open up possibilities for a life when the child asks this one, simple question… and then obeys it?

Let that sink in to your beautiful head.

And as a parent, you would equip your child with everything needed for each specific job, right? Or at least you’d guide your child find the tools and stuff needed, correct?

I wonder how many people understand much about “dying to self and living through Christ’s death.” I’m telling you that no church I’ve gone to taught me to do what I’m doing now ~ but I believe they really all should be teaching (and living) this part of the Bible. It’s pretty important.

I’m exhausted physically and emotionally but spiritually am very much awake and alive.

Do you have the courage to ask God every morning, “God, what do YOU want me to do today?”

Every day?

Can you do this?

I KNOW you can.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Do you have a kid?

Does she like chocolate milk or white milk or no milk at all?

If you give your son a choice between carrots or broccoli which will he choose?

What if your kid has a choice to take the cigarette or other drugs the other kids test him with? Did you MAKE him choose to or not to? No.

If you have a child, most of the time you KNOW what your child will choose
BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD.

People argue that just because God KNOWS your future that means He MAKES you do stuff kinda like a puppet. But this just isn’t true.

God does not MAKE you choose something. He KNOWS you.
He KNOWS which you will choose

BECAUSE
YOU
are
HIS
CHILD.

Get it?

You stole pieces of me and left me broken and afraid (Sexual molestation)

I was 9 years old.

You stole pieces of me and left me broken and afraid. I believed the lies that I was nothing. I believed that this was all I was good for. You belong in prison and you know it.

You took my innocence and my confidence. You are the lowest of low people and you have NO excuses for what you did. You say it’s because someone molested you so you molested others? That’s a bunch of lies!

You molested ME and I would NEVER hurt another person this way.

There IS a choice. It can stop with YOU.

I matter. You should have seen that I matter. You should have been someone good in my life. Instead you are someone who wrecked into my life and made me feel like nothing.

If you repent and are baptized and go to Heaven, that’s great. As for this life, you belong in prison. I forgive you because my heart needs to be free to love on other people and help them heal. I forgive you because God says to. I forgive you because you are so broken that you don’t even realize what you’ve done to so many people. I feel sorry for you.

You made me afraid for so many years. I thought you would come after me. You don’t even know that part. All those years I spent afraid that you would come after me, I now realize you were thinking nothing about me AND you were still molesting other kids and sleeping with anyone of “legal” age who would have sex with you. The damage you did was still happening and you just lived care free.

You are nothing but a coward. You will answer to God FOR EVERY THOUGHT you had about me and you will also answer just the same for all the other kids you molested. Yes, you have to answer to Him. He’s my Daddy and He is NOT happy about the way you think about me and what you’ve done.

Thank you for inspiring me to write this. I know it will help so many people.

See?

That’s the thing.

God is using the very thing that you used against me to help other people heal. I am NOT afraid anymore. I am very worthwhile and I matter.

And now I will spend the rest of my life telling other people that they matter.

Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now — life for many people.  -Genesis 50:20

I forgive you and, NO, you may NEVER be around my children. I forgive you. I’m not stupid.

Sincerely, Me

~

Let me tell you something.

There is NOTHING sexy about a 9 year old little girl. There is NOTHING sexy about a 3 year old or a 15 year old for that matter. Some of those years it’s just called puberty, you piece of trash. A 15 year old child is a child. She may have a body starting to look like a woman but her mind is nowhere near ready for sex or a “relationship.”

People who molest and rape children are lower than bill collector scum. They are NOTHING. God can love them and forgive them and that’s way beyond my understanding, because I do not see HOW He can, but that’s because I’m human and I have only limited understanding.

~

POEM – or whatever you want to call it.

Please let me be a kid.

Please let me get to play hide and seek, ride my bike and play on the playground without you looking at me like that. Please let me walk with my friends without worry that you’ll take me from my family or take away my childhood.

Please see that I’m a child of God and know that He’s gonna be really, REALLY mad about what you’re thinking. Please let me be a whole, confident, safe kid and grow to be a person who can help other people in the world find their talents and meet their goals.

Please let me just be a kid.

I only get one opportunity to be a kid and you can help make it a wonderful time or make it the most horrible memory for me.

Please just let me be a kid. Please do not take my pictures. Please do not have wrong intentions toward me. Please don’t bother me.

Please know that if you do anything to me that is against God, you will answer to Him for it. You will stand in God’s presence and He will ask you, “Why?” and you, alone, must tell Him, our Daddy, why you hurt me. I don’t know if He’ll take the excuse that someone touched you so that’s why you can’t control yourself. Please don’t make excuses at all. Please don’t touch me in a way that God would be sad about. Please just let me be healthy and please don’t introduce sex to me when I’m only a child. You don’t have the right to do that. You don’t have the right to hurt me. You don’t have the right to even think the things you are thinking about me.

I can tell. I will tell. If someone isn’t smart enough to help or hear me, then I will tell another grown up and another and another until someone is smart enough to help me get away from you. You do not have the right to make me a dirty, little secret. You do not have the right to take away my innocence.

I’m bigger than you. I’m braver than you. I’m braver because I pray for you now. I pray that you feel loved on enough at home and by God to not ever bully or hurt other people.

Please, please just let me be a kid. -Kerri Stites

Inevitable

It is inevitable
that when I spend time alone with God in any given day, I absolutely will be a better mommy, wife, friend, and leader.

When I pray over my to do lists, I pray something like, “Okay, God, YOU know what I want to get done, have to get done and will actually get done today.

I cannot seem to prioritize it without Your help because there’s SO much to do today. Please guide my day and show me what You want me to do today.”

And EVERY single time I’ve EVER prayed this, when I look back at the day and look at my to do list for that day, I almost ALWAYS did NOT do what I THOUGHT I wanted or needed to do, BUT am somehow COMPLETELY satisfied with the day’s work.

And I know that it is BECAUSE I prayed about it first. Funny how that works. Try it. All it takes is saying, “Okay, God, please show me what YOU want me to do today.”

I guess if I think about it, when my children choose to come to me for help with their day, I can help guide them also. Our DADDY in Heaven is SO good! I’m His daughter asking for help from Him just like my kids asking for help from me. OF COURSE I’ll help them. I love them. He sure must love us a lot to help us every day like He does.