[Note: This is written EXPECTING that the man is a man of good character and not abusing his daughters in any way. And, yes, I do need to mention this. Also I am a mom of two girls so realize this is written from a mom of two girls. I don’t have sons so I’m not writing from that perspective.]
Our oldest daughter was talking about a boy she thought was cute. I asked her what she liked about him. My husband started asking questions too.
I stopped and listened. I just froze. That was so cool. I wondered what that feeling was. What WAS that? It was BEAUTIFUL. Oh, it’s called LOVE. Our girls FEEL valued because daddy CARES who they hang out with.
Dads SHOULD be involved. Dads need to SAY to a boy, “My daughter is so valuable and I am trusting you. I expect you to treat her like you want your mom or sister to be treated.”
Make that list. If you choose to be married what would you want in a husband? I mean the stuff that really matters.
Here’s a start of a list to inspire you. And you are never too young to make “The List.” (not in any particular order)
1. Honesty and integrity in ALL things.
2. Loves Jesus and is a spiritual leader for your home.
3. Faithful to you and only you as his wife. No pornography. Period.
4. He will have a healthy relationship with your kids.
5. Learns what makes you feel loved on and acts on it.
6. Listens to the Holy Spirit to guide him.
7. Supports you in things you know God is leading you to do.
8. OUR money is just that. OUR money. Not yours and mine. Make the budget together.
9. Wait. Wait for God to show you who your husband is. Don’t just marry anyone you think may work. What God brings together let nobody separate.
10. He does not use credit cards. Period. Stuff is not so urgent that you must buy it now and pay it off for years. You want to live debt free. Debt is slavery. Nobody wants to be a slave.
11. You’re worth waiting for.
12. (Keep thinking. Keep praying. I’ll be praying, too.)
My daughters gave their list about dating. (This stuff should continue after the wedding.)
1. Treat me with respect. I am a person and I have feelings.
2. Open the door for me sometimes.
3. Be a gentleman.
4. Listen to me and really hear what I have to say.
5. Do not act like I’m not there when your friends are around.
6. Don’t cheat on me.
7. Be nice to my friends.
8. Be nice to me.
9. Call me every once in a while.
10. Tell me (sweetly) when I’m annoying you.
I asked my husband for his input when it comes to boys who want to date our daughters.
Advice to the boys who consider dating my daughters:
1. Get out of your car and ring the doorbell. She is worth it. If you can’t get out of your car to get my daughter and to bring her back and make sure she gets in the house okay then you cannot date my daughter.
2. Before you leave with my daughter and when you bring her home, you will shake my hand and look me in the eyes.
3. Before you can have a relationship with my daughter you have to have a relationship with God.
4. You need a strong work ethic.
5. I want to see how you interact with your mom. Because if you don’t have respect for your mom then you’re not going to have respect for my daughter or me or my wife.
6. Bring her home on time. ALWAYS.
7. Our daughters are valuable and you will treat them as the treasures they are.
8. Whatever you do with my daughter imagine me doing that with you.