I’m going to write a story about cheese.

I love cheese.  Cheese is yummy.

The end.

 

Critic#1  Why isn’t she writing about crackers?

Me:  Because this is a story about cheese.

Critic#2  She probably hates crackers.

Me:  No. I actually like crackers and I even like crackers and cheese together.

Critic#3  So why can’t she just like crackers by themselves. She’s probably got a thing about single people, too.

Me:  Um…. What?

Critic#4  She hates crackers because she’s probably racist.

Me:  Wow.  Um…  No. Where’d that come from?

Critic#58  She probably hates flour and flour is in birthday cakes and I heard she cuts birthday cakes.

Critic#437  She probably doesn’t even like cheese.

Critic#512  Why isn’t she writing about Jesus? She usually writes about faith in Jesus.

Critic#513  Bleu cheese is the best. Bleu cheese has feelings, too.

Me:  …I’m actually writing about cheese.

Critic#536  She doesn’t want me to be happy.  If she wanted me to be happy she’d have drawn a picture of cheese.

Critic#541  Sup?

Critic#543  She must be a racist, cracker hating, birthday cake smashing, cheese bashing person who only likes single people and didn’t even share Jesus today.

 

Me:  Wow.

 

This world…