People Cannot Give What They Don’t Have

Some people don’t have peace to offer you.

Some people have the opposite of love, joy, or peace…. I have something to say about this and you might like it. Give yourself room to think about this for a few minutes.

Instead of

Love, Apathy
(Instead of love, you feel neglected by people who don’t have love to give. If someone doesn’t know God he or she doesn’t know love. God is love. He says so.)

Instead of Joy, some choose Misery
(These are people who are complaining constantly about nothing and everything.)

Peace, Disharmony
(These may be people you meet or know who are agitated and angry at you or at the world and they are taking it out on you. There’s nothing resolved because they will not help find peace. They don’t have peace to offer.)

Patience, Intolerance
(People who are rushing you and pushing you then punishing you for your choices would be found in this category. And watch for body language because if it looks and feels like you’re not important to them, then listen better because you’re probably not. You are worth being cherished. Jesus says so.)

Kindness, Hostility
(This would be like when you can feel the heavy air in the room that makes you feel like you might vomit.)

Instead of Goodness, hearts are filled with Corruption
(Goodness is a Fruit of The Spirit. People who do not have goodness are often wicked and cruel. They do not show you or your feelings respect. Contrary to too many messages you’ve heard, you are worth respect.)

Gentleness, Hardness
(People who choose to say mean things and “jokes” that are cutting down instead of building you -and others- up are not filled with gentleness. And if you say you don’t like their jokes then they often say, “You can’t take a joke?” If it’s hurting you, listen better, and maybe you need to put some healthy space between you and the one(s) doing this stuff. Being “okay” includes emotional health and not just physical.)

Faithfulness, Treachery
(People who disregard your feelings and you feel unseen or violated when you’re spending time around them would be found in this category.)

Instead of Self Control, some people have Instability
(Constantly causing or being found in turbulence would be people you’ll find here. Also weakness in character is something to notice here.)

You come in contact with people (probably every day) who do not have The Fruits of The Spirit.

Maybe someone has been purposely mean to you (or about you.)

Maybe an event or a person is taking up too much space in your heart and your mind.

Perhaps it’s exactly what you need to focus on and perhaps it’s a distraction keeping you from what God would lead you to do today.

Prayer is where you’ll know what you need to be doing today with the time He gave you.

People show you what they know.
Are you listening well to what people show you about themselves?

Take a breath and read this and think for a few minutes.

Sometimes it’s just not about you. Lay down your SELF for a minute. (This means don’t get offended but just listen because it is not about you. Our world keeps drowning you saying in a hundred ways that you “should” be offended but you actually have a choice in this. You can CHOOSE not to get offended.)

Let this soak in.

Some people have gifts that others just don’t have.

When you spend time getting or staying offended by other people’s behavior it can waste too much of your precious time (that you cannot get back although God is able to redeem even time lost.)

Why are you shocked when people act in unkind ways?

Some people don’t have The Fruits of The Spirit. But instead of realizing this, people spend hours (and weeks and years) holding onto grudges and anger.

Hear me now. The enemy is glad to help you waste your time if you’re holding the anger because it’s a heavy blanket of unforgiveness that he creates just for you to snuggle up to.

God says your job is to let this go. Lay this down in prayer at the feet of Jesus. He tells you to give this to Him in prayer; cast ALL of it onto Him.

When you cast all this junk onto other people it just keeps hurting more people (including yourself.)
But if you’ll recycle it how God says to, you receive blessings including peace.

Some people are not loving.

Some people don’t know God, and I know this because God says if people do know Him then they know love. Some might know ABOUT Him and still not KNOW Him.

If they don’t know Him it’s like you’re asking someone who speaks Chinese to speak French.

Some just don’t know how.

It’s like being mad at someone who reads with their eyes to read a book to you in braille.

Some cannot see what others can see. (I know some physically blind people who can see much better than some who can physically see with their eyes.)

Stop wasting your life being mad or hurt by people who may even be doing this mean stuff on purpose.

People cannot give what they don’t have. (Can you hear me?)

Sometimes people assume you’re doing something against them because it’s how THEY THINK life works.

If you listen better to how people talk and watch their behavior you can begin to see who they are – even if they try to act a different way on the outside.

I don’t know about you but it’s taken a v e r y long time for me to listen better to people and not to try to repaint red flags when someone reveals who he or she is.

Even so… . Compassion goes a long way and if you’ve been given the Fruits of The Spirit then you have been given the extension of God’s grace to share with others. What a wonderful way to choose life!

Let me say it one more time. People don’t know what they don’t know.
This does not give an excuse for them to just run over you. That’s not what I’m saying.

They will be held accountable for how they treat others.

But this list came to me after praying about life for my kids as we all deal with new depths of unkindness every day around us in 2020.

It can be heart-healing when you consider for a minute that it’s not about you.
It’s just not.

Ultimately it’s about Christ and the relationship they have with Him – or don’t have.

You know The Fruits of The Spirit are
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self Control
Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Have you ever had a business and you told your employees or team to contact you every day?

What happens if they don’t?

God says to pray without ceasing. He wants us to stay in constant contact with Him.

Kind of like a business with some people who don’t represent a company well, sometimes people who call themselves Christians don’t represent Jesus well.

You don’t have to be mad about it. That’s not yours to carry. God sees it all. Don’t get tangled up in that stuff.

You have really important things to do every day for Him and choosing to carry the junk that others try to pile onto you isn’t one of them.

Pressure

We bought an old mirror for about 8 dollars at a thrift store. I securely attached it to the wall, adjusted the placement (twice actually) and a few nights later we had heard a noise but didn’t realize what it was.

The pipes in the walls shake a bit as evident by some sounds, and perhaps also I installed it with some uneven pressure.

Maybe it was both. Don’t know.

Either way the next morning this is what we found.

It was broken.
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This broken mirror happened during some of the most intense pressure in our lives EVER. We have been walking through fire.

There has been judgment without conversation, hate without understanding, gossip without much thought of damage, and yet in the middle of it all God has been providing blessing after blessing in ways we can’t even explain (we pray to some day share in writing.) We will choose to praise Him.

Sometimes it’s not about what happened or an event in life that is the actual heaviest part that threatens to break you.

But the weight of the heavy judgment

from almost everyone –

or sometimes even from just one person – can be SO heavy.

Lay it down. You don’t have to carry this weight.

It’s sad that this is even a thing because the truth is people don’t have to be mad or mean to each other because I will stand before God for my choices and you will stand before Him for yours. This includes the way we treat ourselves and others. Perhaps life is a lot about learning to become more healthy and help other people heal too.

 

AS IF my kids and I had needed a visual aid, this cracked mirror happened right on cue.

Sometimes pressures ON you

(possibly some self-inflicted pressures – in the view of eternity,)

IN you

(stuff you don’t take captive and make obedient to Christ,)

and AROUND you

(happen to you and some have nothing to do with your choices but rather choices that have been made for you,)

in life will either break you and produce curses from your mouth

or refine you and produce praises from your mouth.

It’s so cool (and by Design) that nobody or no thing that happens has the power to take this away from you.

The choice

has always been

and

will always be

only

yours.

 

Dear Lonely Woman,

Dear Lonely Woman,

I see you.

I have some idea why you’re sorrow runs so deep.

Your sadness and your pain matter.

How you feel about what has happened in your life matters.

What you do and what you think matter too.

The things and people you try to grasp and hold onto are never going to fill that empty longing in your soul.
But I know a Guy who can.

Stop trying to get something from things or people who are NOT EVEN EQUIPPED to give it.
But I know a Guy who is.

You think nobody can possibly know the battles you’ve been faced with.
But I know a Guy who does.

So you can exhale.

Because He KNOWS you

AND

He ADORES you.

Only ONE promises AND can give you the Real fulfillment you’re dying to know.

He wants to spend every day with you.
He will never say you’re too clingy. He says, “Cling to ME!”

He will never say you are not enough to hold his attention. He says, “I laid down My life for you BECAUSE you matter more than anything.”

He will never say, “Go away,” with his words or his actions.
But instead He only says, “Come to ME.”

He wants to get one on One quality time with YOU.

Why do you think the circumstances of your life leave you feeling so lonely?

He is confident that HE is THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN fulfill your most intimate need to be wanted and to be loved.

HE will NEVER leave you.

Talk with Him.

And keep talking.

I’ll help you start.

“Dear God, thank You. Thank you for the emptiness so that I can find You.
You are MORE than enough for me.
Show me my value that is in You alone and please reveal my purpose ONLY You can give me. Please heal me because of what has happened in my life and remind me that my true value is found ONLY in You. Please forgive me for searching in a hundred other places for the True Love that ONLY You are capable of giving me. In Jesus’ Holy Name, I ask _______________…”

Because of Stephen (a very special kid)

God calls us in different ways.

Lisa was one of my roommates from college. She was called by God.

God gave her 3 healthy kids, 2 miscarriages, and Stephen. Because of her experiences she can help people in ways I can’t even begin to know how to.

Stephen is a very special kid with very special needs. He’s been diagnosed with multiple disabilities due to severe brain damage from birth because of preeclampsia; He is deaf, blind, epileptic, has a feeding tube, a shunt for hydrocephalus, non-ambulatory (meaning he can’t walk or sit or feed himself,) and Cerebral Palsy.

~~> When God calls you

it usually turns your world upside down. <~~

People are in their house all hours of the day (and sometimes night.) There’s no privacy.

Some of their house has been turned into a hospital ~ for Stephen.

People stare at him because he’s… different.

He’s a very beautiful “different” with a contagious laugh.

He’s here for a reason. God did not make him by mistake.

God has connected many people together because of Stephen.

If Stephen wasn’t Stephen, the nurses, doctors, therapists, and hundreds more people wouldn’t have been connected with Lisa and she wouldn’t have had this opportunity to share her faith with them.

She COULD have cursed God. But she didn’t. She COULD have said, “No. God, this is too much for me.” (…Because sometimes it feels that way.) But she didn’t. She accepted the assignment that she was called to be his mom as a gift and she loves him.

She accepts help from people she doesn’t know (medical and personal help) because caring for him is a full time job.

I cannot comprehend the faith and energy it’s taken her to learn all she’s had to learn to be his mom. And I praise God for all the people who have been there to help love on Stephen and get to know his family.

I’m writing this ~ because of Stephen.

The truth is we ALL have special needs. Jesus is the answer to them all.

~
Notes from Lisa.

8 1/2 years ago my world was turned upside down. Fear was the theme for the day. I was afraid for my life as well as my unborn child’s.

It was too early, but apparently, it was time.

Some in this world would say it was a tragedy. I call it a true gift. It has brought unimaginable joy, heartbreaking pain, laughter, tears, patience, and humility.

Stephen Sanders was given as a blessing not just to me, but to the world. I would move Heaven and Earth to change things for him, but I would never change him for me.
~
I am thankful for my children in general.

David for being friendly and outgoing.

Micaiah for being willing to work hard even when she doesn’t really want to.

Stephen for teaching me patience by throwing me into the fire.

And Nathan for giving me a fresh look at the world.

God, bless my children as they walk their paths through this life and please take care of my two babies who are already in Heaven with You.
~
Monkey, You are such an amazing little boy. There aren’t words to describe how much I love you. Your strength inspires me to go on when I am worn down. The smile on your face makes me laugh through the tears. And the way you tell me you love me without uttering a word reminds me of what true love is really about. I am so blessed to be your Mommy.

 

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I don’t know how they got homeless.

Guest post by Chloe Liv.
Written on her 14th birthday.

~
“This is going to be the BEST Christmas ever! I actually have soap to shower!”

Her words stopped me in my tracks, as a tear ran down my cheek. Her clothes were torn and dirty. Her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed or washed in a week. She was missing some of her teeth and the ones she still had needed a toothbrush badly. I don’t know where she slept last night, and she probably doesn’t know where she’ll sleep tonight.

And to think I was upset about not getting an ipod for Christmas this year…

I recently went with a church on a mission trip and was homeless for 3 days and nights.

Now I feel guilty that I just got done throwing my fit about not getting a big Christmas, and this woman was crying tears of joy over getting… soap.

My hair is clean. I showered today in a clean shower with hot water. My teeth are brushed. And when I go home I have a nice, soft, cozy bed to sleep in.

I ate dinner tonight. I knew when I woke up this morning that I would eat dinner tonight. And I might have leftovers that would get thrown away.

For my birthday this year and maybe next year and the next, I am collecting things from anyone who will give stuff for all these people we met.

I don’t know how they got homeless, and I don’t know how to get them a home, but I’m going to do what I can to love on them because maybe they just need to know somebody cares.

Butterfly Crusher

She would not share her crayons or glue with me. We were grown ups. We were working in child care and every two rooms were supposed to share crayons, glue, and supplies between all the kids.
She did not want to share her crayons and glue. She talked ugly to me and about me every day.
I talked to someone about it. He said I should ask her why.
There was NO WAY I wanted to go up to this angry, knife throwing, butterfly crusher woman and ask her why she wouldn’t share her crayons…
Preparing for the battle, I prayed, read Scripture out loud, and praised in song so that I’d have on the best armor.
I knew the next time she threw darts at my head I’d speak peace to her. It seemed she’d be pretty mad if I did this but my job was important and the need for income and to care for these kids outweighed whatever she’d do to me.
Right on cue as expected she tore into me, roaring loudly and cutting me down in front of all the teachers and children.
I calmly and genuinely said something like, “I’m very sorry. Please tell me what I have done to offend you. You seem really angry at me and I’m not sure what I’ve done to you.”
Right there in front of me she broke into a hundred tears.
She cried and said she was so sorry. She had just recently moved here, she was miserable and she’d been taking all her stress out on me.
I was stunned.
The next time someone won’t share her crayons and glue with you remember there’s probably not anything you did. There’s probably stuff underneath that is creating anxiety or fear and it comes out as anger. Put on your storm gear and walk softly into the storm.
Your soft words may be a welcome and unexpected surprise and let her finally talk through her pain.