It’s not that it hasn’t been interesting and I know we got a lot done together.
But you are in the way. You are not really my friend.
You tell me what to do every day and when I don’t get it all done, you beat me up at the end of the day telling me that I didn’t do everything I needed to do.
But who are you to tell me what I need to get done today?
I’ve had enough.
It’s probably not even your fault.
It’s mine for believing you and I are the ones who can do the most good with my time.
But God has only given me a certain amount of time and I cannot get any more of it.
So you have to go.
God knitted into me my purpose and you have distracted me and stolen too much.
Until I started asking Him to take my to-do list and show me what HE wants for my days, you were my idol.
You are not my god.
I’m not going to worship you anymore.
God is my God and I haven’t been putting Him first most of my life and asking Him what HE wants me to do each day.
See? He says The Holy Spirit is here to guide me and I believe Him.
The days I ask HIM to lead me are the MOST satisfying days in every way (even though usually I didn’t do what you told me to do or even what what I thought I needed to get done.)
The most UNsatisfying days are the ones where I try to do stuff MY WAY and in MY TIMING.
It’s funny. I have found that usually the thing I can’t get out of my mind is the very thing I actually need to be focusing on, but most of the time until now I’ve pushed that stuff out of the way to stay on schedule – for you.
What God has shown me is that I don’t have to try to figure out how the days are going to look.
My friends cannot open doors He’s shut.
And my enemies cannot shut doors He’s opened for me.
I know. You probably don’t think I’m perfect enough for God.
You wonder if He even wants me.
And the truth is I don’t have to be perfect.
My God is not looking for perfection. He is looking for people willing to give Him their time – giving their lives as a living sacrifice for what HE wants and not just doing what we want or what other people tell us we have to do.
It’s okay if you forget or throw this letter in the trash.
Because if I forget, then tomorrow, I will wake up and break up with you all over again.
It used to make me pretty sad and actually kinda mad when I’d forget something important.
Sometimes I have 116 things going on in my brain at the same time so I write things down SO THAT I won’t forget. But if I forget the list when I leave the house then what? If the paper gets lost then what do I do? What if it accidentally gets thrown away because someone helps clean up? Or what if I use a voice recorder like I did a couple days ago but it didn’t record it somehow. User error? Maybe so.
Something I’ve learned in the past couple years is to give that to God.
“God, You know that really amazing stuff that was on my mind? Well I can’t seem to remember what it was but I know it was pretty great. If You want me to remember it please bring it back to my mind and help it stay there. I give this to You. If You would have me do something with that thought, please show me what that looks like. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
And then I go on with my day.
If He helps me remember, then I will remember. If not, then I let it go and I can know I’ve asked the Master of my life, The Creator of my brain and talents, and He chose not to bring it back to the front of my mind for whatever reason I don’t even need to understand.
Give yourself room to make mistakes and don’t beat yourself up when you forget stuff. He’s got you. Every day and all day. You cannot do this life on your own and He doesn’t expect you to. Trust Him. Talk with Him. He is a very real help even when we are forgetful.
Some families are buying their kids every piece of plastic or metal or electronics they ask for this Christmas. That’s great if they want to do this, especially if they don’t go into debt doing it because debt is slavery.
BUT are they giving their kids THE BEST gift? Are they teaching their kids that Jesus is THE way? The Bible doesn’t say Jesus will tell you the way. It says He IS the WAY.
It doesn’t offend me if you don’t say Merry Christmas. I don’t care if you hate Christmas. I’m not going to get in your face and yell at you. It doesn’t offend me if you say Happy Holidays or Merry X-Mas, UNMerry Christmas or anything else. I do not care. Wish me Happy Hanukah, Blessed Mary Day, Sparkly Kwanzaa, Snowy Frosty Day, or you can say nothing at all.
I do not care.
No matter what someone says or doesn’t say does not change this fact. Jesus is the reason for the season. And do you know what else? Jesus is the reason for EVERY season.
What you decide about God is up to you and it’s YOUR soul you’re bargaining with if you don’t believe. Not mine. He ACHES for you to know Him.
It’s really your choice. And He loves you VERY much (even if you’re not aware of who He is to you yet.)