Dear Christian Husband who is looking at pornography,

Your wife is lonely.  And I don’t just mean physically. She’s emotionally drained.

Your sin and secrecy are sucking the life out of her.

I see her grief and emptiness and while it’s true that Jesus is the only One who can truly fill her heart, if you’re not going to be there to serve her and really share your life with her, then why are you there?

The sin you’re hiding is killing your ability to love your bride like Jesus loves The Church, His bride.

She is worth more than the leftover attention and affection you give her.

Jesus is the only One who can break the chains of addiction that threaten to bury you in this grave forever.

The shame and guilt you carry are very, very heavy and you’re not meant to carry this alone.

When you give your life to Christ in baptism you die to sin just as He died and was raised and you are raised a new man in Him walking in HIS power.

You cannot keep looking at pornography while serving as a husband, (or future husband, or Christian man in any leadership role for that matter.)

God called you to stand taller, be the head of your home, and lead gently, following Him.

Other men are looking to YOU to lead also.

You CAN be free and you can also help free others from this hell on earth.

Jesus already took your sin and nailed it on the Cross.

Stop taking it back.

The stench is overwhelming and everyone smells it. Sin of any kind makes you grouchy and it affects everyone you are in contact with even for a moment.

GIVE THIS TO HIM IN PRAYER.

For the love of your wife, for the salvation of your soul, for the benefit of your children, for the man I know God called you to be, please give this to Him.

You are worth more. The people in the images are worth more. And your wife is worth more.

You can be the man you and I both know God created you to be.

I believe in you.

Sincerely, Brokenhearted For Your Marriage

 

 

Dear Christian Wife who is looking at pornography,

Your husband is lonely.  And I don’t just mean physically. He’s emotionally drained.

Your sin and secrecy are sucking the life out of him.

I see his grief and emptiness and while it’s true that Jesus is the only One who can truly fill his heart, if you’re not going to be there to serve him and really share your life with him, then why are you there?

The sin you’re hiding is killing your ability to love your husband like Jesus loves.

He is worth more than the leftover attention and affection you give him.

Jesus is the only One who can break the chains of addiction that threaten to bury you in this grave forever.

The shame and guilt you carry are very, very heavy and you’re not meant to carry this alone.

When you give your life to Christ in baptism you die to sin just as He died and was raised and you are raised a new woman in Him walking in HIS power.

You cannot keep looking at pornography while serving as a wife, (or future wife, or Christian woman in any leadership role for that matter.)

God called you to stand taller, be the heart of your home, bravely, following Him.

Other women are looking to YOU to lead also.

You CAN be free and you can also help free others from this hell on earth.

Jesus already took your sin and nailed it on the Cross.

Stop taking it back.

The stench is overwhelming and everyone smells it. Sin of any kind makes you grouchy and it affects everyone you are in contact with even for a moment.

GIVE THIS TO HIM IN PRAYER.

For the love of your husband, for the salvation of your soul, for the benefit of your children, for the woman I know God called you to be, please give this to Him.

You are worth more. The people in the images are worth more. And your husband is worth more.

You can be the woman you and I both know God created you to be.

I believe in you.

Sincerely, Brokenhearted For Your Marriage

 

Only God knows the inside of each marriage.

We saw a couple in a store one time. The wife started speaking louder and sounded pretty upset.

To my husband it seemed that she was upset without much reason. He didn’t see or hear anything before that so she probably was overreacting.

To me, it was obvious that she was exhausted from the broken communication between the two of them.

We neither one ever found out what was the reason for their argument that day several years ago.

But marriage has been under attack since Adam and Eve.

We want to blame.

That woman…

That snake…

Whatever has happened (and it looks different in each situation) HOW do you find the way to truly forgive and still live with someone who caused such damage?

The enemy wants to separate and isolate each of us and he does this in about a billion custom-designed, clever ways (including all those things we run to for imitation comfort.)

Here’s the best answer I can find.

 

“You want to make this a fight of flesh and blood.

But it’s not.

It’s spiritual with the powers of darkness.

The enemy is AFRAID of what YOU can truly become.”

-the movie King’s Faith

 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. -Ephesians 6:12

 

Prayer. And The Incredible Power of The God behind the prayer!

 

God, ONLY YOU KNOW the inside of each marriage. Please heal broken lives and hearts. Please revive and make stronger what has been under attack for so very long.  Please let Your words be spoken and let us see each other with Your eyes. In Jesus’ Name, please God, Amen.

 

[P.S. I’ve found this helps with more than marriage. I try to remember this now when I’m upset with anyone or any situation. There’s probably ALWAYS more than we can see with our eyes.]

[Note:  Forgiveness and staying daily in a dangerous situation are NOT the same things (though there are those who disagree.) God gave us wisdom and I believe we should use it. I do not EVER hope for divorce though I’ve been through it and through abusive situations and I do and will ALWAYS pray for safety for everyone.]

 

 

Research THIS!

Extensive studies show that a percentage of the time researchers waste money taking a poll about almost important stuff.

MY research didn’t cost money. MY studies have shown that out of 100 people ALL 100 people MATTER.

100 people usually inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. 100 people have internal organs that work pretty much the way they should. Regardless of the color, shape, hair, and the rest of the outside of their bodies 100% of their insides can feel hurt and pain and they have opinions and preferences.

My studies show that people are pretty much the most unique but very much the same.

100 people have the same invitation to accept Jesus as their personal Savior. 100 people can be buried with Him under water in baptism and come out of the water a new person. 100 people get the angels singing and partying just for them each time this choice is made. 100 people are the highest of all God’s creations and were made in His image. 100 people matter.

I didn’t have to spend a billion dollars to research this. Look around you. As a writer I recently met online said:

“The person standing in front of you is not just taking up space, she’s been carefully made in God’s own image. This alone makes her worthy of your attention, and your very best words.”
– Kim Hall http://www.givenbreath.com

100 people out of 100 people are 100% valuable. Period.

In case nobody told YOU today… YOU MATTER.

If you or your family member or friends have bodies that work differently than others due to medical or other reasons YOU MATTER. If you think differently than other people think YOU MATTER. If you feel deeper or even if you feel nothing YOU MATTER.

I studied, researched, and asked God above about YOU. And the results of all my research show that YOU MATTER 100%.

You stole pieces of me and left me broken and afraid (Sexual molestation)

I was 9 years old.

You stole pieces of me and left me broken and afraid. I believed the lies that I was nothing. I believed that this was all I was good for. You belong in prison and you know it.

You took my innocence and my confidence. You are the lowest of low people and you have NO excuses for what you did. You say it’s because someone molested you so you molested others? That’s a bunch of lies!

You molested ME and I would NEVER hurt another person this way.

There IS a choice. It can stop with YOU.

I matter. You should have seen that I matter. You should have been someone good in my life. Instead you are someone who wrecked into my life and made me feel like nothing.

If you repent and are baptized and go to Heaven, that’s great. As for this life, you belong in prison. I forgive you because my heart needs to be free to love on other people and help them heal. I forgive you because God says to. I forgive you because you are so broken that you don’t even realize what you’ve done to so many people. I feel sorry for you.

You made me afraid for so many years. I thought you would come after me. You don’t even know that part. All those years I spent afraid that you would come after me, I now realize you were thinking nothing about me AND you were still molesting other kids and sleeping with anyone of “legal” age who would have sex with you. The damage you did was still happening and you just lived care free.

You are nothing but a coward. You will answer to God FOR EVERY THOUGHT you had about me and you will also answer just the same for all the other kids you molested. Yes, you have to answer to Him. He’s my Daddy and He is NOT happy about the way you think about me and what you’ve done.

Thank you for inspiring me to write this. I know it will help so many people.

See?

That’s the thing.

God is using the very thing that you used against me to help other people heal. I am NOT afraid anymore. I am very worthwhile and I matter.

And now I will spend the rest of my life telling other people that they matter.

Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now — life for many people.  -Genesis 50:20

I forgive you and, NO, you may NEVER be around my children. I forgive you. I’m not stupid.

Sincerely, Me

~

Let me tell you something.

There is NOTHING sexy about a 9 year old little girl. There is NOTHING sexy about a 3 year old or a 15 year old for that matter. Some of those years it’s just called puberty, you piece of trash. A 15 year old child is a child. She may have a body starting to look like a woman but her mind is nowhere near ready for sex or a “relationship.”

People who molest and rape children are lower than bill collector scum. They are NOTHING. God can love them and forgive them and that’s way beyond my understanding, because I do not see HOW He can, but that’s because I’m human and I have only limited understanding.

~

POEM – or whatever you want to call it.

Please let me be a kid.

Please let me get to play hide and seek, ride my bike and play on the playground without you looking at me like that. Please let me walk with my friends without worry that you’ll take me from my family or take away my childhood.

Please see that I’m a child of God and know that He’s gonna be really, REALLY mad about what you’re thinking. Please let me be a whole, confident, safe kid and grow to be a person who can help other people in the world find their talents and meet their goals.

Please let me just be a kid.

I only get one opportunity to be a kid and you can help make it a wonderful time or make it the most horrible memory for me.

Please just let me be a kid. Please do not take my pictures. Please do not have wrong intentions toward me. Please don’t bother me.

Please know that if you do anything to me that is against God, you will answer to Him for it. You will stand in God’s presence and He will ask you, “Why?” and you, alone, must tell Him, our Daddy, why you hurt me. I don’t know if He’ll take the excuse that someone touched you so that’s why you can’t control yourself. Please don’t make excuses at all. Please don’t touch me in a way that God would be sad about. Please just let me be healthy and please don’t introduce sex to me when I’m only a child. You don’t have the right to do that. You don’t have the right to hurt me. You don’t have the right to even think the things you are thinking about me.

I can tell. I will tell. If someone isn’t smart enough to help or hear me, then I will tell another grown up and another and another until someone is smart enough to help me get away from you. You do not have the right to make me a dirty, little secret. You do not have the right to take away my innocence.

I’m bigger than you. I’m braver than you. I’m braver because I pray for you now. I pray that you feel loved on enough at home and by God to not ever bully or hurt other people.

Please, please just let me be a kid. -Kerri Stites