We bought an old mirror for about 8 dollars at a thrift store. I securely attached it to the wall, adjusted the placement (twice actually) and a few nights later we had heard a noise but didn’t realize what it was.
The pipes in the walls shake a bit as evident by some sounds, and perhaps also I installed it with some uneven pressure.
Maybe it was both. Don’t know.
Either way the next morning this is what we found.
It was broken.
This broken mirror happened during some of the most intense pressure in our lives EVER. We have been walking through fire.
There has been judgment without conversation, hate without understanding, gossip without much thought of damage, and yet in the middle of it all God has been providing blessing after blessing in ways we can’t even explain (we pray to some day share in writing.) We will choose to praise Him.
Sometimes it’s not about what happened or an event in life that is the actual heaviest part that threatens to break you.
But the weight of the heavy judgment
from almost everyone –
or sometimes even from just one person – can be SO heavy.
Lay it down. You don’t have to carry this weight.
It’s sad that this is even a thing because the truth is people don’t have to be mad or mean to each other because I will stand before God for my choices and you will stand before Him for yours. This includes the way we treat ourselves and others. Perhaps life is a lot about learning to become more healthy and help other people heal too.
AS IF my kids and I had needed a visual aid, this cracked mirror happened right on cue.
Sometimes pressures ON you
(possibly some self-inflicted pressures – in the view of eternity,)
(stuff you don’t take captive and make obedient to Christ,)
and AROUND you
(happen to you and some have nothing to do with your choices but rather choices that have been made for you,)
in life will either break you and produce curses from your mouth
or refine you and produce praises from your mouth.
It’s so cool (and by Design) that nobody or no thing that happens has the power to take this away from you.
We saw a couple in a store one time. The wife started speaking louder and sounded pretty upset.
To my husband it seemed that she was upset without much reason. He didn’t see or hear anything before that so she probably was overreacting.
To me, it was obvious that she was exhausted from the broken communication between the two of them.
We neither one ever found out what was the reason for their argument that day several years ago.
But marriage has been under attack since Adam and Eve.
We want to blame.
Whatever has happened (and it looks different in each situation) HOW do you find the way to truly forgive and still live with someone who caused such damage?
The enemy wants to separate and isolate each of us and he does this in about a billion custom-designed, clever ways (including all those things we run to for imitation comfort.)
Here’s the best answer I can find.
“You want to make this a fight of flesh and blood.
But it’s not.
It’s spiritual with the powers of darkness.
The enemy is AFRAID of what YOU can truly become.”
-the movie King’s Faith
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. -Ephesians 6:12
Prayer. And The Incredible Power of The God behind the prayer.
God, ONLY YOU KNOW the inside of each marriage. Please heal broken lives and hearts. Please revive and make stronger what has been under attack for so very long. Please let Your words be spoken and let us see each other with Your eyes. In Jesus’ Name, please God, Amen.
[P.S. I’ve found this helps with more than just marriage. I try to remember this now when I’m upset with anyone or any situation: There’s probably ALWAYS more than we can see.]
[Note: Forgiveness and staying daily in a dangerous situation are NOT the same things (though there are those who disagree.) I will ALWAYS pray for safety for everyone. If you need to get out, I pray for you to get out safely.]
She doesn’t even know you. How can she affect you?
But it does affect you.
You know those times when you read (or hear) something and it cuts; like it’s directed at you? You can hear something and it SEEMS to be directed at you.
Maybe it is personal but maybe not.
We’ve got to give ourselves permission NOT to listen to (or read) vague, passive aggressive comments carelessly tossed AT us or hatefully said ABOUT us.
It REALLY may NOT be about you. Live, breathe, and enjoy today like it’s NOT about you.
But IF it IS:
If someone truly does have an issue with us we need to rest in the prayer that he or she can find maturity, confidence, and grace to come speak with us about it. And we need to give people permission allowing them to be upset if it’s a problem that is upsetting.
Being upset about something doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. The very fact that it bothers you is proof that you DO care.
We cannot assume that someone has wrong intentions toward us. Sometimes people do have bad intentions and during those times it’s important to talk if possible and try to work things out. But even then; working things out does not always mean someone who has hurt you will view things the same way as you see them. And that’s okay.
Nobody in the whole world was created to think the exact way you think. It’s okay (and sometimes necessary) if we agree to disagree.
Sometimes people are just angry at life and you are the closest target. For whatever reason they may feel safer taking out their frustration on you rather than the true issue. They may be afraid to confront or discover the core of the pain because it seems unbearable.
[This being said; if it’s abuse, it’s abuse and that’s NOT okay. You may need to talk to a counselor or someone. That’s healthy. That’s not weak. In my opinion finding a counselor (and yes, I will always advise to find a counselor who is a Christian) works best when I pray over everything first. Prayer first is ALWAYS best.]
We can be a safe place for others to vent and we can do this without taking things personally. We can just listen. Just be there. Just hear someone who is hurting.
…Because sometimes it’s really NOT about you.
When you hear someone say something or read a post online that “feels” personal, try this; “God, this has hurt my feelings. Please let this fall away from me if it’s not intended toward me. If it actually is intended toward me and this person actually does have ill feelings please give me courage to speak with them peacefully and give my words grace so that we may both heal. Please prepare my heart and hers (or his) and please stop words from coming out of my mouth that need to not be said. God, please help me be genuine. Please use my life and words to bless others and bring healing and not pain. Thank You for Your constant love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”