Hello in there. You are missed!

Hello in there you are missed bk blog mommy

Whatever happened to bury you this deep, I’m really sorry.

Life’s blows with the enemy’s help have treated you unfairly and you put up a wall.

Then you added another.

Then another.

Until you built a VERY impressive battleground.

 

If people come near you (I mean the real you) they may -or may not- step on a landmine.

But that’s up to YOU whether it’s a landmine or you just give them a shove to knock them down for a minute (or if you want to shut them up for longer, that’s still your choice.)

YOU get to have that control.

And nobody can take that control from you!

You feel safe there.

And the truth is… NOBODY can make you come out.

NOBODY can break into THIS kind of castle!

 

But… the world isn’t the same with you locked away in this castle façade of a prison.

The enemy surely knew what he was doing when he isolated you.

I mean, he even made you think it was a castle.

Didn’t he?

If he made you believe it was a prison you were actually building, would you have kept working on it?

He recognized that you are a threat to him so he took his (your) time, keeping you busy with it for a quite a while starting from a young age.

However it started, it was pretty upsetting!

Maybe it started with bullying from other kids.  Maybe the beginning was that someone sexually molested you. Maybe it started with someone you trusted with all your heart. Maybe the very first memory of the pain was because of your own parents; the ones God assigned to you didn’t do their jobs how He’d rather they do. Oh and that boss! And that job! And THAT co-worker… And don’t forget that teacher! My wife! My husband! Don’t get me started about the time…

 

I know it probably took more than one thing to build such a massive, impenetrable, solid place.

And it probably took years to get it just right so that you never have to show anyone your tender heart exposed underneath it all. NOBODY can make you forgive!

You don’t even have to give out genuine, kind WORDS.

Those you get to have control over, too.

Muah Ha Ha!! Nobody can have your words! Nobody!

Because they may hurt you.

You’re probably right.

They may. They are human, too.

And when you feel lonely, just to keep people close (but not TOO close… but you don’t really want them to leave… but of course you don’t want them to know that…) you can just throw a few kind words out behind you as you run out the door. I mean, you can’t actually FACE them AND tell them the way you really love them and hope they never leave you, can you? (You know, in case they use them against you.)

Your words are yours, alone, to do with whatever YOU choose.

 

 

Whatever it was, I will admit that the craftsmanship of this fort is to be admired. I’ll give you that.

You’ve got that heart locked up tight and whenever people get too close, you sabotage it somehow (even subconsciously) so they can’t get in.

You designed layer upon layer of what seems like protection but through clear eyes – or clear sinuses – it’s actually moldy, crusty, years of caked on STENCH.

And the only one who can’t smell it…. is……… you.

It affects everyone around you.

Don’t worry if people know not to mess with you. They DO. People who need your support, love, or kindness, have suffered. THAT’S for sure! Part of the problem is that you can’t actually hear what other people are really saying to you even when they’re praising you because the walls are so thick that their words are muffled.

 

Of course you didn’t do this on PURPOSE.

THAT would be kinda… silly.

By now…. it’s just….. what you do.

 

It’s how you do life.

(If you can call this living, really.)

 

I don’t blame you for this.

You have your reasons.

 

 

But – I think the enemy has stolen enough of your time.

 

Don’t you think so?

 

Isn’t it heavy to keep carrying all that?

Your shoulders have GOT to be exhausted because of all that stuff weighing you down.

You kinda walk differently now. God designed you with joy in your step but the enemy stole that joy.

I sure would like to see your new walk. It will be a beautiful thing. And it’s going to feel great!

God’s been patiently waiting for you to give these VERY heavy burdens and broken pieces to Him for a while now.

But He’s not going to rush you.

That’s not His style.

He realizes there is some real pain that sent you into this place.

 

But —- the important jobs God wrote into your very being that ONLY YOU CAN DO aren’t getting done.

He’s surely going to be excited that you’ll begin asking Him what that looks like now. This, I know.

What if… you ask HIM to help break down that amazing fortress you’ve spent precious moments perfecting… and HE helps you build a different kind around you?

Like, what if it wasn’t a dangerous place for others OR for you?

What IF?

What if you ask Him to help you build a safe house with angels to surround you?

What if that safe house was built with grace and mercy instead of explosives and stone walls?

After all, He’s pretty big and He loves you more than ANYone else possibly ever could.

What if HE helps you?

It doesn’t even have to be a leap of faith.

It can be a tiny, baby step of faith that He is who He says He is; your Provider, your Comforter, your HEALER, and your Savior.

HE is safe.

Break it down!

Your most powerful weapon; forgiveness!

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

You are so missed!

 

 

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Her Dreams

Some people know what they want to be when they’re kids.

When I was a little girl the only 2 things I knew in my heart I wanted to be were a mommy and a wife.  (I’ve been a wife twice.  I guess I was an overachiever with that dream.)

As my oldest child and I were talking today we remembered all her friends who came to her giant slumber party several years ago called me “Mommy” because I asked them all to use sippy cups because I didn’t have water bottles with lids for 20 kids but I had enough sippy cups.  We didn’t want to spill on the carpet.  Some of her friends still call me Mommy because of that.  (I told them their moms may not appreciate them calling someone else by the Mommy name.  It’s cute though and they were just being silly and being the awesome, cute kids that they are.)

~
The thing I can’t stop thinking about is this:

What if there’s a child who needs a mother’s love and care in Alaska and God knew this was His plan for my life a long time ago?  Maybe the reason I didn’t know yet was because I wasn’t asking Him what HIS plans are for my life.  I was just doing what I wanted to do.  Maybe also it’s that He just reveals each next step to us in His timing whether we ask or not.  My husband and I can look back over 35 years and see how God’s been preparing us both for this very thing.

What if there are a hundred kids who need care?

I know there are.  And this is everywhere.  Every city.  Every place.  God leads people and uses us where He wants us.  Our family specifically feels called to move to Alaska for this work.

 

When someone tells you her dreams in life, although they may seem smaller than others’ dreams, her dreams may just prove to be bigger than they looked at that time.  (Being a mommy and wife are AMAZING things to be even if some don’t realize this.  Being one or the other is amazing, too.  And no, I’m not saying to purposefully be a single mom.  I’ve been there (though not purposefully) and it’s TOUGH!  My heart goes out to single moms and dads.  You guys are doing a very important job.)

Just sayin’ when people share what is most important to them, even if you think they’re not the super most important “career” choices many others are working toward, pray with them and help them see how God will use these dreams in their lives.  He’s got a plan for each of us.

The talents and dreams put in our hearts are there for a reason even if we can’t see the whole picture when we’re young.

Prayers for the Alaska homeless teen center are always welcome here.  We don’t know everything about how to do this work but we can look back and see how He’s been preparing us for this over 35 years.  We will keep following as He keeps leading.  We know He’s preparing the way even when we can’t see all of it yet.  We are excited to see who else He’s calling to this mission work.

 

[Note:  Yes, God hates divorce.  But God does NOT disown you if you’ve been divorced.  God uses EVERY part of our story for His Glory.  You don’t have to believe me.  Ask Him to do this with your story.  He will.]

[Another Note:  When people laugh at your God-sized dreams, be kind. Sometimes we all forget to dream big. Sometimes we forget that there is a big God over all this and it’s not actually random at all.]

When We Were Young We Believed

When we were young we believed we could do so many things; crazy, amazing, big, world changing things!

Then life happened.

We started to believe we had such limitations and we were beaten down by other people’s words and ideas.

Why did they say what they said? I don’t know. Maybe they were jealous. Maybe they were broken inside. Maybe they truly believed this world is all there is and there’s not any point in trying anymore.

They were wrong.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. – Romans 12:2

You CAN make a difference.

Here’s an even better reminder than that! God can make a God-sized difference through your life.

Yes. You. YOUR life.

YOUR story matters.

ALL the details of your life matter.

How you feel about it matters.

God can do something that no man can do. He can turn the very worst and darkest part of your story into something amazing that glorifies Him.

And THAT is a beautiful thing!

Think you’re too old? No. You’re just right.

Think you’re too young? No. You’re just right.

Too tired? God gives new energy.

Think it’s too late? Remember. God is the Author of time. He is not in a hurry.

Ask God what He wants you to do today ~ every day. He will show you.

God and I believe in you.

Now it’s time that YOU believe in you (again or maybe for the first time.)

YOU can make SUCH a difference in this dark world.

When you believe in you – and in God – with childlike faith like you used to, the possibilities for what God will do in your life are limitless.

The world told you that you can’t. The world is wrong. You CAN.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. – Philippians 1:6

 

Hey teenagers and pre-teens, we are proud of you.

Teens, and pre-teens, since I know there are a few of you guys here online, I just wanted to tell you I am SO proud of how you stand up and share your faith!  This is a REALLY tough time to be a kid. I am proud of your modesty and how you stand up and speak out when friends are talking you into and making not great choices. It’s really tough. You have GREAT courage!! I just wanted to be a voice thanking you for standing out instead of trying to fit in. You guys are making a difference.

That being said, PLEASE Please talk to us (parents and grown ups) when you do mess up. We will love you through mistakes. Yes, we may be sad and a little disappointed just as you may be when we mess up as grown ups, but we ARE here for you and we DO get that life is really tough as a teenager in 2014. We do not expect you to be perfect and I apologize to anyone who feels like you are held to a “perfect” standard. We mess up as parents and we know you guys mess up as kids, too. I love you. And I just wanted to tell you that you DO have people to talk to when life gets you down.