21 Candles Later

Once upon a time a woman gave birth to a wonderful baby girl.

They were very close and loved to spend time doing life together and serving other people as opportunities presented themselves. Mom and Daughter had a healthy relationship, each praying through the days and figuring out how life works best for their sweet family.

They went through some pretty rough times and always knew they could trust each other and enjoyed time together in the middle of a world that worships chaos over being still.

The daughter grew and when she turned 21 a sudden, unwelcome, and unsolicited weight – heavier than either one of them could have expected – fell onto their shoulders.

Invisible threads of other people’s brainwashed beliefs; the toxic whispers woven together, screaming insults as leverage, tried to pry them apart and steal precious time away from them.

It happened quicker than anything, without notice, culture quietly roaring, demanding the unnatural death of a bond that our God, Himself, created.

Everyone’s expectations of the mother and daughter were like grains of quicksand threatening to drown them and pull them apart trying to suffocate the relationship right out of them.

I’ve talked with mothers who have outlived their children and they say every single day is valuable and nothing should be allowed to steal moments away from them because

life

is

short.

Yet both mom and daughter in this story are still very much alive. Somehow as if overnight and 21 Candles Later with no time to adjust, it was somehow no longer okay with anyone else except the daughter (whose opinion should matter most in this scenario) for mom to do things to care for this young lady.

Navigating this Calling called “Mom” became even more confusing than ever before.

Beware of listening to the garbage that other people would carelessly condition you into believing because the devil, himself, wants to cause dissolution any way he can.

Think about it.

If a dad took his daughter her lunch at work he’d be seen as a loving hero.

If a sister ran an errand for her it wouldn’t get negative attention.

If a friend picked her up from work this would be okay.

If a roommate gave a ride to her nobody would think anything of it.

If a boyfriend brought her jacket to her it would be precious.

If a husband dropped off medicine the young woman forgot at home it would be seen as charming.

But if a mom of a 21 year old daughter does any of these things, people say she’s doing too much for her.

Please read that again.

How is this even a thing in our culture?

The truth is that my daughter also happens to be

my sister in Christ,

my roommate,

and my best friend…. (both daughters are these to me.)

I write this after weeks (and months) of praying and sifting through this mess of lies.

So, I went to the best example I could find.

Our Father in Heaven calls us His children.

And guess what else?

When we’re older adults guess what? He STILL calls us His children.

Jesus calls us His friend.

And He wants to be so close to us that The Holy Spirit takes this relationship even a step further by indwelling in people who choose Jesus.

For a mom who has a daughter around age 21, the world says mom should not be in her life anymore. (And for ages 18 or 19 or in her 20s… I’m talking to you too.)

Why?

If a mom does something for her daughter she’s persecuted by too many people for caring for her the same as she’s been doing ….for the last 21 years.

A mom who has prayed over this girl for a hundred billion hours and stayed up endless nights as nobody else has for her… Why would anyone think the bond should be suddenly extinguished? Where did they get this nonsense? Perhaps people could benefit from searching why they think the way they do; where the beliefs come from.

If you’re a mom of a 21 year old daughter you may just be up against a new part of life as you have never known it before and it may not be a choice either of you wished to make.

I have heard that some people always like to scrutinize everything anyone says about anything.

Don’t you think people would have some more important things to do than to criticize you and persecute you for what you think or say?

Think about this. (It’s a theory I’m considering and it just could be more true than people care to admit.)

If people can talk about you or laugh about you it may be the only way they can find to distract themselves long enough to laugh.

I think people do that because they are afraid to work on their own lives.

You are mature enough, secure enough, and resilient enough to let others’ nervous, weak, and foolish gossip brush right past you like brushing a tiny, annoying bug away from your shoulder.

Our CULTure has some crazy ideas how a mom and daughter relationship should look.

I’m not sure if it’s the same with a mom of a son. I’m a mom of girls so I’m writing from this view.

Dear Mom of a 21 Year Old Daughter,

You are still doing very important work. You are a friend, confidant, counselor, physician… And a healthy relationship is still important.

Regardless of what this country, this world, has started to accept as normal or tries to tell you that you “should” do (or not do) you still have some important influence and your 21 year old daughter is as precious as she ever has been and still may want and desperately need your guidance.

Take a breath, shake off what junk this culture has tried to pile onto you, and pray through maneuvering this life.

And remember our Example, Jesus, did not create distance pushing us away as we age, but instead HE still calls us “friend.”

Jesus could have called us anything and HE chose to call us friend.

Dear 21 Year Old Daughter,

You are precious and it’s okay if you still want to be close with your mom.

This world is a wonderful and big place and it’s still cool to have a healthy relationship with your mom.

Please be careful of the voices you listen to and stay in prayer for healthy relationships for your life even if the world is screaming for you to be completely independent.

Jesus is our greatest Example and He draws closer to us when we draw close to Him. He is ALL about relationship. And He does not leave us to figure things out on our own.

As intelligent and able as you are I still pray for a healthy relationship for you with your mom (or mom-figure in your life) and to know how very much you are loved and you are not expected to do this life alone.

Lions’ Teeth

How many lions’ teeth are you willing to bet your future on? Your family’s future?

People often say that one person can’t do much. That’s just not Truth.

This is Truth –

ONE man prayed to God and would not stop.

Then the king wrote a decree that EVERY nation and EVERY tongue will worship God. See Daniel 6.

Will you be that ONE person?

–
Lions have three types of teeth: (information from lionalert dot org)

Incisors, the smallest teeth at the front of the mouth, are used for gripping and tearing meat.

Canines, the four largest teeth (either side of the incisors), can reach up to 7 centimeters in length. They are used to rip skin and tear away meat.

Carnassial, the sharpest teeth at the back of the mouth, act like a pair of scissors to cut meat.

Lions can open their jaws up to 28 centimeters wide, giving them one of the animal kingdom’s biggest bites!

–
Reporters, beware.

People in our world are now telling people to report and tell on others who are gathering together, who are singing praises to our God, who are choosing to breathe instead of bowing to other gods hindering breathing by using face diapers of many kinds.

In Bible times, Daniel was told not to pray to God. Daniel did anyway because… well, because God is his God.

Hear this part:

The men who TOLD on Daniel to the king were thrown into the lions’ den,

AND so were their wives,

And their children were thrown into the lions’ den also.

The lions ate their bodies up before they hit the ground. The lions chewed on their bones. Check out Daniel 6 in The Bible.

God will be worshipped and prayed to.

NOTHING will stop this.

The SAME God who closed the mouths of the lions for Daniel, who would pray to Him no matter what, is the same God who allowed the lions to eat the people up who tried to stop the worship.

Our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Choose sides wisely. Either way you go, if it costs you your life, and it likely will, Heaven and Hell are both real.

You’re choosing one of them even if you’re not choosing. Know this. Not choosing is still a choice.

Every knee will bow to Jesus. Eventually this WILL happen. EVERY knee. God has been patient.

And as you gather (or don’t) and you praise God today (or don’t) remember He will not be mocked.

2 Philippians 2:10-11 …at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven AND on earth AND under the earth, AND that EVERY tongue WILL confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

All day I’ve been thinking about those lions’ teeth.

And EVEN IF God chose to not close the mouths of the lions we will still worship Him.

There’s no time to waste. He is worthy to be praised.

Daniel 6:25-27

Then King Darius wrote to ALL the nations and peoples of EVERY language in ALL the earth:

“May you prosper greatly!

“I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel.

“For He is the living God
    and He endures forever;
His kingdom will not be destroyed,
    His dominion will never end.
He rescues and He saves;
    He performs signs and wonders
    in the heavens and on the earth.
He has rescued Daniel
    from the power of the lions.”

As I was praying Thanksgiving, 2020, this is what God laid on my heart.

I will give thanks to my God who is in Heaven. Will you?

No Enemy Can

No friend can open a door God has closed to redirect you.

No enemy can close a door God has opened for you.

Our Father in Heaven gives dreams and visions and He rewards faith.

From Genesis to Revelation He uses people others wouldn’t even consider to do work He wrote into them when He knitted them together in the womb. He is able. He takes our tiny offering of time, money, talents, life, and HE CAN MAKE IT MORE THAN ENOUGH!

Please share this.

Please prayerfully support this with whatever God puts on your heart through prayer to give. Believing together is a powerful thing. Faith moves mountains.

The Valor Alaska Go Fund Me page is here:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/alaska-bound-women-of-valor?utm_source=customer&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_more

When I Was Nine

I have 7 days. Again. I already fought this. Now here I am again.
[…update: Last week I was told I have 7 days. Yesterday I was told I have 15 days to get a note. (My doctor won’t write one.) Today I was told I have no days even if any doctor would write one, but that I’m to apply for a leave of absence. If you have healthy, respectable jobs that do not require a mask or covering over faces or heads, please send a message. I’m looking for a job to help provide for my family. Thank you.]

For some insanity reason… when did people not become “enough” to speak for ourselves? I am so exhausted of people telling other people that they aren’t enough. It happens every day in all kinds of ways.

If I can’t find a doctor (…or legal professional or counselor or policeman or preacher or scientist) to write a note saying I am not able to wear a mask or face shield or anything else over my face then I have 7 days and my employer said I likely won’t have a job.

I wish I knew the law to be able to write for myself.

I feel helpless all over again.

There are things that happened to me when I was younger. Because of 7 years of molestation starting when I was 9 years old and rape that happened 4 times between the ages of 15 (the year the molestation stopped, by the way) and age 23 I am not able to wear something over my face.

It sounds so clinical when I see it written in a couple sentences like that.

Almost like it wasn’t a lifetime of a hell I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

But it’s not insignificant.

It’s my life.

Some people say that everything that happened to you in life is a result of your choices but that’s just a cover for their ignorance because they are trying to place blame and trying to feel better about something in your life that they don’t know what to do with. This harmful way of thinking just adds weight on top of already impossible, heavy situations.

I’m not as sure what to think about “stranger danger” but I’m very alert now to to classmate, boyfriend, extended family, church friends, and co-worker awareness.

Some choices are made for you.

And what you do with those circumstances is what will show what you’re made of and who you are (and also Whose you are.)

It is clear that after talking with my current doctor, although he, himself, is not wearing something over his face for his shifts at work and neither do his employees, he isn’t helping in this. But even if he was wearing something over his face for hours it’s likely he isn’t fighting the same battles if the same kinds of things that happened to me didn’t happen to him.

Even so, some similar things affect different people differently.

Why the world tries to fit us all into one tiny box doesn’t make sense. God is wise enough to have created us each in such incredibly unique ways.

People try to measure each other and compare each other and judge and decide each other’s life…

That’s not what we are supposed to be doing; comparing.

What a terrible way to spend this life; measuring people.

What even is that? It’s not from God.

My 17 year marriage has ended because of things I need to write some other time. In fact, when I look back it never started. If you don’t know about narcissistic abusive relationships – because of enduring one – then you won’t understand no matter what I say anyway. But if you have endured one (maybe more) of these, then you are not alone. There are thousands who will understand. Email me. I see you. And I will pray with you for help.

The child support ends this month and I need a job where I can focus and don’t feel absolutely terrified for having my face covered. My health insurance apparently was just turned off by my former husband on top of all the other things going on.

This looks hopeless.

I will admit…. Everywhere I turn it looks hopeless.

I’ve been at this place called hopeless before.

But our God is so big.

I know NONE of what’s going on right now is a surprise to Him.

He gives hope.

And my kids and I have seen Him provide time after time.

My heart rate and tears and shaking body from the anxiety of trying to work with my face covered are enough to make me throw up. I just cannot do it.

People don’t know what they don’t know.

Praise God that He extends grace to us to give to others even when they speak out of ignorance.

And people who find some things tougher than others ….well that doesn’t mean people (like me) are weaker in some way. In fact, if I wasn’t as tough as I am I wouldn’t have made it this far in this world.

I am constantly reminded that our prayers need to be about soft hearts and to be Warriors.

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. Matthew 10:16

Please would you just lift my family up in prayer right now?

I’ll wait here.

Even though my small paycheck isn’t much it’s been able to help us have a place to live. We are okay moving (and we believe we are soon) but I’ve also prayed a lot and searched a lot about apartments and houses to rent and that has only proven to cost more.

I’m constantly asking, seeking, and knocking.

I am praying to work online and in people’s lives every day to help others out of similar situations as my kids and I have known. This has already been happening and I’m praying for it on another level. We do believe are to be packing in faith to move into a trailer and on to Alaska soon.

If you build travel trailers or trucks or believe in this ministry we feel called to of offering safety to girls who need to get out of sex-trafficking and into safe places to live and new jobs and new hope, then please email me.

I have some in common with sex-trafficked survivors. So to go walk through life beside people who have been through some things seems not so far out of an idea. I know that God uses ALL things for good for those who love Him.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (My favorite Verse when I was a little girl – such a long time ago.)

We are praying for a new truck and travel trailer and the ferry ride to move from Washington to Alaska to build tiny homes for people to stay in for a while to be able to breathe and begin healing. Also if you pray and you feel you can help build the tiny homes, please email me. itisallaboutfaithblog@gmail.com

As silly as that may sound …. All I know is God gives dreams and visions. And God rewards faith.

Please pray for us.

Prayer is where IT’S at.

I’m weary from fighting battles that I wish with all my heart I didn’t have to fight.

I feel like I’ve been fighting the same fight for air that started when I was 9.

Or at least I became aware of this battle when I was 9.

Though it started way before that as the enemy calculated the ways to try to end my life.

EVEN SO I will still be praising my God in the middle of it all. Out loud – because He is my God.

This world is not my Home. I am just passing through.

–

Hey Beautiful Survivor,

If you’re still reading this, I see you.

And the things you have endured (and maybe never even said out loud) are some things that others probably wouldn’t have endured.

You are so important and if you weren’t then this life wouldn’t feel so very impossible.

The enemy is SO AFRAID of what you can become in Jesus.

You want to make this a fight of flesh and blood. But it’s not. It’s spiritual with the powers of darkness.

The enemy is AFRAID OF what YOU can truly become. -the movie King’s Faith

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

It’s a very good time to stay in prayer and fight on your knees. You are not alone.

No friend can open a door that God has closed to redirect you.

But no enemy can close a door that God opens for you.

[Author Note:

If you have anything negative to say here then go away and click the “unfriend button.”

I am needing prayers and support and empathy.

If you don’t have those to offer please go away. I’m learning that finding who is for me and who is against me is a blessing in disguise. It is okay for you to go.]

 

People Cannot Give What They Don’t Have

Some people don’t have peace to offer you.

Some people have the opposite of love, joy, or peace…. I have something to say about this and you might like it. Give yourself room to think about this for a few minutes.

Instead of

Love, Apathy
(Instead of love, you feel neglected by people who don’t have love to give. If someone doesn’t know God he or she doesn’t know love. God is love. He says so.)

Instead of Joy, some choose Misery
(These are people who are complaining constantly about nothing and everything.)

Peace, Disharmony
(These may be people you meet or know who are agitated and angry at you or at the world and they are taking it out on you. There’s nothing resolved because they will not help find peace. They don’t have peace to offer.)

Patience, Intolerance
(People who are rushing you and pushing you then punishing you for your choices would be found in this category. And watch for body language because if it looks and feels like you’re not important to them, then listen better because you’re probably not. You are worth being cherished. Jesus says so.)

Kindness, Hostility
(This would be like when you can feel the heavy air in the room that makes you feel like you might vomit.)

Instead of Goodness, hearts are filled with Corruption
(Goodness is a Fruit of The Spirit. People who do not have goodness are often wicked and cruel. They do not show you or your feelings respect. Contrary to too many messages you’ve heard, you are worth respect.)

Gentleness, Hardness
(People who choose to say mean things and “jokes” that are cutting down instead of building you -and others- up are not filled with gentleness. And if you say you don’t like their jokes then they often say, “You can’t take a joke?” If it’s hurting you, listen better, and maybe you need to put some healthy space between you and the one(s) doing this stuff. Being “okay” includes emotional health and not just physical.)

Faithfulness, Treachery
(People who disregard your feelings and you feel unseen or violated when you’re spending time around them would be found in this category.)

Instead of Self Control, some people have Instability
(Constantly causing or being found in turbulence would be people you’ll find here. Also weakness in character is something to notice here.)

You come in contact with people (probably every day) who do not have The Fruits of The Spirit.

Maybe someone has been purposely mean to you (or about you.)

Maybe an event or a person is taking up too much space in your heart and your mind.

Perhaps it’s exactly what you need to focus on and perhaps it’s a distraction keeping you from what God would lead you to do today.

Prayer is where you’ll know what you need to be doing today with the time He gave you.

People show you what they know.
Are you listening well to what people show you about themselves?

Take a breath and read this and think for a few minutes.

Sometimes it’s just not about you. Lay down your SELF for a minute. (This means don’t get offended but just listen because it is not about you. Our world keeps drowning you saying in a hundred ways that you “should” be offended but you actually have a choice in this. You can CHOOSE not to get offended.)

Let this soak in.

Some people have gifts that others just don’t have.

When you spend time getting or staying offended by other people’s behavior it can waste too much of your precious time (that you cannot get back although God is able to redeem even time lost.)

Why are you shocked when people act in unkind ways?

Some people don’t have The Fruits of The Spirit. But instead of realizing this, people spend hours (and weeks and years) holding onto grudges and anger.

Hear me now. The enemy is glad to help you waste your time if you’re holding the anger because it’s a heavy blanket of unforgiveness that he creates just for you to snuggle up to.

God says your job is to let this go. Lay this down in prayer at the feet of Jesus. He tells you to give this to Him in prayer; cast ALL of it onto Him.

When you cast all this junk onto other people it just keeps hurting more people (including yourself.)
But if you’ll recycle it how God says to, you receive blessings including peace.

Some people are not loving.

Some people don’t know God, and I know this because God says if people do know Him then they know love. Some might know ABOUT Him and still not KNOW Him.

If they don’t know Him it’s like you’re asking someone who speaks Chinese to speak French.

Some just don’t know how.

It’s like being mad at someone who reads with their eyes to read a book to you in braille.

Some cannot see what others can see. (I know some physically blind people who can see much better than some who can physically see with their eyes.)

Stop wasting your life being mad or hurt by people who may even be doing this mean stuff on purpose.

People cannot give what they don’t have. (Can you hear me?)

Sometimes people assume you’re doing something against them because it’s how THEY THINK life works.

If you listen better to how people talk and watch their behavior you can begin to see who they are – even if they try to act a different way on the outside.

I don’t know about you but it’s taken a v e r y long time for me to listen better to people and not to try to repaint red flags when someone reveals who he or she is.

Even so… . Compassion goes a long way and if you’ve been given the Fruits of The Spirit then you have been given the extension of God’s grace to share with others. What a wonderful way to choose life!

Let me say it one more time. People don’t know what they don’t know.
This does not give an excuse for them to just run over you. That’s not what I’m saying.

They will be held accountable for how they treat others.

But this list came to me after praying about life for my kids as we all deal with new depths of unkindness every day around us in 2020.

It can be heart-healing when you consider for a minute that it’s not about you.
It’s just not.

Ultimately it’s about Christ and the relationship they have with Him – or don’t have.

You know The Fruits of The Spirit are
Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self Control
Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Have you ever had a business and you told your employees or team to contact you every day?

What happens if they don’t?

God says to pray without ceasing. He wants us to stay in constant contact with Him.

Kind of like a business with some people who don’t represent a company well, sometimes people who call themselves Christians don’t represent Jesus well.

You don’t have to be mad about it. That’s not yours to carry. God sees it all. Don’t get tangled up in that stuff.

You have really important things to do every day for Him and choosing to carry the junk that others try to pile onto you isn’t one of them.

Not today, devil.

We’ve been through favorite jeans ripping, computers messing up, phones not working, fighting daily for too many years in an unhealthy situation, homelessness (three times now,) receiving help from low income aid offices, surgeries, illnesses, deaths of pets, bullying, molestation (starting when I was a 9 year old little girl,) rape(s) at church camp and at college (rape is always a rapist’s fault,) car wrecks which totaled our car(s,) another car a long time ago which was lost back to the bank because we could not afford it, a house lost due to bankruptcy several years ago, divorce (twice actually which was never in my daydreams when I was a little girl dreaming about my future,) rumors spread, more rumors spread, people walking away from us (but they don’t know what they don’t know so we aren’t even angry about it,) bad hair days, and so much more that would threaten to steal faith from anyone surviving all this stuff.

 

But then today…

 

TODAY… the coffeemaker broke.

 

One has limits….

 

 

But even so we will say “Not today, satan.”

As for me and my house, we will still praise The Lord.

 

 

 

[Praise God that He uses the unlikely! Reading through this small list sure reminds me how well I fall into that category.]

Tea and Cookies

A neighbor invited us to have tea. This was not on the list of things that needed to be done this particular day if we had written a list. (Remember this.)

A few years ago my oldest daughter was serving in youth ministry. She felt God put it on her heart to invite the women of the congregation to a tea party and the youth groups (middle and high school) would serve them dinner. She felt moved to help bring the older generation into conversation with the younger generation. Perhaps we can choose not to make some of the same mistakes if we will listen to each other’s past. Every age has some important wisdom to share.

We had been to a ladies’ event at another church building where they served several delicious salads. We were praying for these salad recipes. These wonderful recipes would serve many people for a low cost and seemed to be just the right food for this Christmas tea party. Every time we tried to get them we were not able to. The church office was closed, or the people who had the recipes weren’t returning the phone calls, or we couldn’t get to the right connections, or we ran into other problems. It just wasn’t happening. (Remember this.)

We had so many things to do to get ready for this dinner. Stopping for tea seemed maybe not the best choice in the middle of this mission. It didn’t make sense to do this when there were only a few days left to get this work done.

But we prayed again and left the prayer there; in God’s mailbox.

At the same time this was going on…

My youngest daughter loves getting to choose what she will study. We have been in public school many years, a couple years in private school, and now she’s been homeschooling for a few years. Since she learned how to speak she’s always been interested in criminology and forensics. When she was a little girl I would ask what she wanted to be and her answer was that she’s “a brave, strong knight.” When she played on the playground she would find other kids who would spend the recess time creating a team of private investigators to help others solve their problems.

Before we had left Texas when she was twelve she had called the police station and asked for a field trip. She got to go into the police forensic lab and learn how fingerprinting was done. We were praying for how God will lead her to learn more about this kind of work she’s always been interested in since she was a little girl. (Remember this.)

We prayed about answers for her school work and left it in God’s mailbox.

(A little background: We had traveled from Texas and in God’s timing we will serve in Alaska. I’ve had many visions and dreams about this. When we got to the edge of Canada I knew in my spirit it was important to stop in Washington for a while. So here we are. We pray asking God what He wants us to do each day. He’s been teaching us a lot every day. As we wait in faith we stay in prayer.)

The time came to go have tea with the neighbor.

There were so many things that seemed to need done but this felt kind of important also. Though it wasn’t getting any work done for the ladies’ dinner (but it does count as Social Studies for homeschooling,) we stepped into the life of these new friends for some tea and cookies.

The neighbor was very kind and her husband was sharing in the conversation. Even though the prayers were hanging as if on pause in the back of our minds, we were present in the dining room while we shared about waiting on The Lord to open doors for this homeless youth place God has placed on our hearts. And the neighbors shared some about their lives.

God hears and He also answers.

– After talking a little while my oldest daughter mentioned about the ladies’ event she’d been praying over. The woman of the house said her daughter-in-law is the one who had been in charge of these salad recipes for the event we had recently attended.

AND (as if that’s not enough of an answer to prayer…)

– Her son is a police officer in the area and she invited my younger daughter to speak with him to learn about a group of young people called the Police Explorers where youth get to learn about police work.

Having tea and cookies in that dining room with this couple was exactly where we were suppose to be this day. Even if it didn’t make sense that it should turn out to be something so important we did what God had laid on our hearts to do anyway.

BOTH of our questions got answered when we stopped leaning on our own understanding and did what we felt led to do through prayer.

God was in the middle of it all. We just had to stop long enough to hear Him.

We just went where we felt we were suppose to be for the day. It’s pretty simple.

When I took time to think about it I realized through the past several years there are over a dozen times we got jobs, received answers, and were led exactly to the people we needed to talk to when we prayed and then waited and went about life just serving and being wherever we felt God was leading us through each day.

Are you praying and waiting, listening for answers?

Are you just doing whatever and making your own schedule?
Is your heart satisfied with how life is going?

It may seem like your story goes all over the place but maybe that’s just how it goes when it all comes together to make some kind of sense. If we could see the intricate tapestry God is weaving in our lives how much more content would we be to listen to The Holy Spirit’s prompting every hour?

Where are you supposed to be today?

Maybe you need to stop for some tea.

Next 5 Minutes

Have you ever been someone’s afterthought?

When my youngest daughter was in 4^th grade a very cute boy stopped her outside at recess, “I asked another girl to the dance and she said ‘no.’ Do you want to go with me?”

My daughter looked at him and without even hesitating she shook her head and said, “No.”

Later, she talked with me about her day and about recess. When I asked her why she didn’t want to go with him she told me, “I will not be someone’s second!”

I’m not sure how she already knew her value (because I had still been trying to learn my value) but I’d been working her whole life to instill in her she’s precious and she matters.

Somehow she understood at this young age she was worth more than a left-over invitation to be someone’s second choice.

Everyone is made in His image and is worth caring for.

It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth when someone treats you as less than and leaves you out, excludes you, doesn’t acknowledge you, or treats you as second.

You do not love someone well with your left-overs.

Think about any relationship you’ve had where you were cheated on somehow and you can hear (and feel) what I’m saying.

Our God is a jealous God and – every day – He wants your whole heart and your whole life.

He wants your first.

He is waiting patiently for your FIRST THOUGHTS in the morning to be on HIM.

He is worthy of your FIRST WORDS every morning before your feet are out of bed.

He asks for the FIRST of your efforts every day.

He even tells us to test Him by giving our first money.

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house. TEST ME in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and SEE IF I WILL not throw open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out SO MUCH BLESSING that there will not be room enough to store it. -Malachi 3:10

If we are always putting Him second then we can’t be surprised that feeling behind is what we keep feeling.

Our bodies are not even our own but we have been bought at the highest price.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 1 Corinthians 6:19

Christ’s blood is what God decided you are worth.

And He says the person you love is worth His blood.

And He also says the person you can’t stand to be around is worth His blood.

The enemy tries to distract us to whisper and confuse us about who we are.

When we know our identity cannot be touched, we have no reason to let God ever be second.

Our identity is to be found in Jesus Christ.

Nothing can change this. Nothing can take Him away. Nothing can shake this Truth.

No matter what anyone thinks about you, NOBODY can make you less than His.

Your life is made up of time.

Hear this.

God wants your time.

When you write or think about your schedule, do you pray what He wants you to do with your time He’s gifted to you today?

He’s not asking for your 5 year plan.

He’s asking for your next 5 minutes.

More Than Anything

We designed and bought magnets for gifts. And we also took the time to get a new little picture of the 3 of us and have it printed.

We sent a picture and a magnet and a note last Christmas to people we thought would appreciate them.

I knew the note and the picture were paper and may not last a long time.

But the magnet, I thought would last a really long time.

I was wrong.

It was the first time I’ve sent out Christmas cards in years because of some personal reasons.

This is what it looked like on our small budget.

After a short while I noticed the magnets hanging on our fridge, if they were moved much or touched much or fell on the floor or got water on the edges they soon looked more like this.

I will confess. At first we were sad about the company that told us they were “stick on car” and “all weather” quality magnets because it turns out they’re not such long-lasting magnets after all.

Also when I buy something (no matter the price or what it is) I kind of expect it to last forever. (It doesn’t.)

At first I felt embarrassed that the magnets aren’t the quality we were told… but after thinking and praying a little while, I realized that they are kind of like prayer.

We need to pray.

Then we need to pray again.

Then more.

Since Jesus is part of a trinity with God and The Holy Spirit (like you may be one person and also many; a mom, wife, sister, cousin, aunt, daughter, niece, friend, etc.) and Jesus needed to pray so much then how much MORE do we need to stay in constant prayer?

Have you ever loved someone and they never acknowledged you or talked to you or looked at you? It really hurts.

God loves us and wants to be close to us more than anything.

He watches us sleep while we’re breathing the air He provided with the lungs He created and He longs to have more conversation with us.

He is jealous for you. It’s why He sent Jesus to pay our debt. Why He did things this way… I don’t have to understand the whole thing. My job is to believe and share Him.

Some people study The Bible like all the time but don’t talk TO God.
Someone can learn all ABOUT God and yet still not really intimately KNOW Him.

These sad looking Pray magnets ended up being a good reminder to me that this prayer thing is an hourly thing, moment by moment, and though one prayer can change a life, constant and often prayer is what we are called to for this intimate relationship with our Father.

He loves you.

[Note from Kerri Valor:

Some don’t know and some do know that divorce happened. The only thing he could not step on was my faith. There is a lot to talk about with the emotional abuse that had been going on for years and I have a lot to say about it but that’s not for this article.

Our God still is our Deliverer and He still delivers us out of unhealthy situations when we put our hope in HIM. My kids and I prayed for what to fast from and fasted from specific things for three months. The doors opened. God brings provision in all kinds of ways and from all over the place and this includes laughter and friends, legal help, He provides physical places to live, jobs, cars, and more.

The Bible says God hates divorce. I do too. It’s purely awful. It’s heartache like no other. But God does not hate divorced people.

A marriage is broken for many years before a legal divorce happens.

God sees every moment and He wastes nothing. He uses everything and He’s already been using this part of my story to reach people who need to have space from a husband who pushes them away in 100 different ways all the time. That’s not cherishing a wife and loving her as Jesus loves the church.

I’m not talking about a bad day. I’m talking about a toxic relationship.

While divorce is a very sad thing in some ways, no matter what the circumstances, this was another confirmation that when we fall back, trusting Him to catch us, He still does.]

I don’t actually like puzzles

I don’t actually like puzzles. But sometimes I forget that because they look interesting. So I get one again.

…Then I curse the process.

Can’t stop going back to figure it out.

Feel angry when I can’t make it work.

It’s taking too long.

It’s all I can think about.

I’m obsessing over it.

Wrestling with it.

 

Then I thought it’s kind of like how we do life.

We argue with God a lot and probably don’t even realize how much we do it.

Sometimes we sound like kids just complaining.

“But Lord, the pieces don’t fit.”

“The colors are all blending together.”

“There aren’t enough pieces!”

“There are too many!”

“I can’t figure it out.”

“I can’t tell what goes where.”

“But that piece looks like it almost fits.”

“I’ll just MAKE this piece fit there.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“I want to do it my way.”

“It’s taking too long.”

Finally…. we get to:

“This… isn’t working.”

“I think maybe I need to ask for help.”

But if I’m too close I can’t see the big picture.

If I look carefully I can see there are slight variations in the shades.

Sometimes I try to decide where something goes before seeing the other side.

If I wait a while it will reveal itself. Be still. Psalm 46:10 

And sometimes I can find where something fits just because I “know” because there are some pieces that fit so effortlessly that even if they’re upside down I don’t have to even turn them over to know that’s where they go.

And I’ve learned things are most frustrating when I’ve been trying to take control of something.  My way. My time… but control is NOT to be our God.

Sometimes I need to take a step back and take a breath.

Then I can see better with new eyes.

Life tries to rush us.

But love is patient. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

Sometimes the only thing I CAN do –

The only thing I actually NEED to do –

is to focus on the ONE PIECE in front of me right now.

Please hear me. And I know this sounds crazy because it goes against our race through the gotta-get-as-much-stuff-done-today-as-possible-or-else-and-no-time-to-think-packed-days culture – but

–  y o u    h a v e    p e r m i s s i o n  

 

       t o      b    r    e    a    t    h    e   .

 

 

Give it ALL (good and bad) to Him in prayer

and in return

HE

WILL

give

you

rest.

Matthew 11:28

 

If ALL you can do today is see the one piece and pray and praise for the day you are doing enough.

While we are trying to understand, we praise Him; we worship Him instead of worshiping the picture perfect life we’re trying to design.

That’s when you find all the pieces are there. Everything you need is there – in Him.

The Creator is so wise and He’ll reveal everything you’ll need to finish what He started in you.

No More

A wife is not meant to have to compete against everything she’s been competing against to win her own husband’s affections and attention day after day.

I am sick of worshiping other gods. And the sneaky trick of the enemy was that I didn’t even know I was doing it.

Some of these other gods I think we all have been worshiping. We don’t mean to. We have probably created and worshiped more of them than any of us can count.

Divorce is not the biggest most evil issue in the Bible but in this culture we’ve made the Marriage Certificate a god we worship with more reverence than almost anything else.

If someone is to cherish his wife “as Jesus loves the Church,” then how would that be measured? The wife would have some sort of feeling of being cherished, would she not?

Also a husband is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Many don’t. The secret will be discovered. The wife ends up eventually finding out she’s been the other woman; probably in many ways.

Check out MomPro to read full article.

 

That’s really why I’m here.

I was sitting in a dining room when I (thought it was safe and) told a man who had taught Bible class that I felt I’d be speaking on stage.

He tilted his head and patted me on the shoulder, “Yeah… but if He’s not….”

I was only asking for prayers. That’s the only reason I told him. It was a small group meeting and – prayer is part of it, right?

But when he didn’t believe me, I was faced with another situation entirely: A test of faith.

Did I actually believe what I was saying I know? Or did I not?

I looked at him (not aware back then of his condescending tone) and after deep thought a minute, I said again, “But… He is.” I just …knew.

And again, this faith-lacking, prideful, young Bible class teacher looked into my eyes, shook his head and said with a smirk (clearly now I realize it was proof he didn’t believe me) and patted me again on the shoulder, “Yeahh….but if He’s NOT….”

What I read from Genesis to Revelation is that God has always used lesser known messy people with messy lives to carry out His Divine purpose.

I’ve had something like 7 years to think about that moment. He didn’t seem to believe God would choose someone like me (clearly nobody in this man’s eyes) to share God’s Word, my faith, and my story.

 

It’s funny how some moments seem to last so much longer than others.

 

I believe God allows and purposely tests our faith with moments like these.

People everywhere are constantly demanding field- and factory-tested products but they are the same people who tend to shake their fist in defiant anger when anyone tests or challenges their beliefs.

That’s a bit of a double standard.

God humbles and tests us, refines us, and He says He will finish what He starts.

And it turns out it doesn’t matter who else believes what He’s doing with you but you.

If someone isn’t tested then how will he or she stand when things seem unfair?

What about when things seem to take a long time? (“Too long” according to people watching your life. Too long? Oh my word! What does that even MEAN when The One we serve is The Author of time, itself?)

What about when other people mock your faith?

What about when it’s people closest to you who mock your faith?

People don’t like flimsy products.

Oh! How much MORE does God not want a luke-warm follower?!

Two things just happened.

This past month AS the final legal procedures of my second divorce happen, the doors have been opened for more platforms to share my faith – and my story.

Share my story — every messy broken part of it.

Yes, you read that right… second: one marriage was 7 years and one has been almost 19 by the time divorce is final… though possibly both were broken from the start. But I’ve learned a lot. And forget divorce! What about the hundred other ways God has had to be sad about me? There are so many other things! But God!

Imagine a redeeming God who uses messy people’s messy lives to share in HIS purpose?!

The thing is I knew you’d be reading this. It’s not a good thing. It’s not a bad thing. But I knew somehow in my spirit a few years ago that I’d be here writing about this someday.

I had told my kids I felt someone would come ask me to write with a group of other Christian writers.

This just happened.

Jennie Louwes, who felt God lead her to start MomPro – Teach The Way, contacted me to join her along with several other writers.

I also knew I’d be speaking on stage at some point. This also isn’t good or bad. It just is.

I was actually afraid to ever speak back then.

Mostly I was afraid because someone too close to me kept telling me in so many ways that I was never going to be enough.

The beautiful Truth is that God takes what little I have to offer and HE makes it – and He makes me – enough.

But what ever would I speak about exactly? That part wasn’t clear at that time, which again is why I had been asking for prayers already all those years ago in that small group meeting.

This just happened too.

Last week I was asked to speak at an event. I believe this is the first of many.

And guess what? I’m not afraid anymore.

In the mess…in the questions…in the middle, God gives a firm place to stand in Him.

That’s really why I’m here today: to ask you.

What do you do when your faith is tested?

Do you recognize when it happens?

When people tell you something isn’t… but God shows you it very much IS, perhaps that’s a test of your faith.

What you DO with each test of faith is up to you.

God likes to know what you’ll do and He tests you and allows you to be tested. Because… well, maybe He also wants YOU to know what you’ll do.

 

Do you complain?

Do you immediately go to Him in prayer for answers and to praise Him out loud?

Do you get mad and let pride grab a place in your spirit?

 

I believe what you do in that moment IS a part of the test.

It doesn’t matter what someone else believes. It matters what YOU believe.

Want to have some fun? Just watch God use something that someone meant to harm you, instead for HIS good. He is a good God! NOTHING is wasted. HE makes beauty from ashes. I believe in you, you believe, and God believes. THAT is already a cord of THREE!

Even when nobody else can see what He’s doing, He STILL does it. And THAT is some Good News.

Nothing is Wasted

Sometimes people like to hear a testimony AFTER all the trials are over, but the truth is there’s something intimate and beautiful about the way God brings support DURING the trials and testing. Enter with thanksgiving and praise with your mouth.

Before I go on, please know that if you feel you must go, then no one can stop you. It’s probably better that way and my kids and I won’t hold it against you.

And I think I’ve learned I’d rather find out people’s true colors than to have fake friends. Though it hurts my feelings for a minute, when I lay all my concerns at the feet of Jesus in prayer, HE REALLY DOES deliver healing and draws close to the broken-hearted. The faster I remember to pray the faster He takes the sting out of the actions and words from others and brings peace and healing.

I’m not afraid of my testimony. In fact, God is already using my (our) current situation to help other people. Nothing is wasted.

Over the past year since we got out of an unhealthy situation, God’s been absolutely pouring His blessings all over us. We’ve seen provision like never before.

I often hear people talk about this. Would you rather suffer physical abuse or emotional abuse? (Ummmm…neither one!)

Which is worse?

What kind of question is that?

Both. Both are worse. BOTH are awful!

Instead, what if we ask, “Why don’t more people hold people accountable for how we treat each other?” People don’t want to “intrude” or “it’s none of our business.” Nonsense. That isolation is a trick from the enemy as old as The Garden of Eden. We ARE to be in each others’ business. We are MADE for relationship.

And people all around you are silently screaming to be seen. I pray more have ears to hear the broken-hearted, because I promise they are sitting beside you in church, live next door to you, work beside you, and are in line in front of you (and behind you) as you wait to order coffee.

God increases faith. It’s BEYOND amazing to me every time He does it and in how many ways He does.

I don’t really have words to describe it. He does it in small and big and just… everyday ways. His promises are never empty. The more we trust in HIM and not in a place, what other people say, what seems logical, or my own understanding, the more He gently pries my fingers off control.

We have received prayers, well wishes, counseling, legal help, monetary donations, jobs, and other physical needs met all over the place since we started praying daily, “Lord, what do You want us to do today?” When we gave up “our” plans and stayed in prayer (I think it’s been about 7 years now) every day there is a contentment and fulfillment we can’t explain in words. If you think God is in a hurry to do stuff, look at Noah and the ark and other situations from Bible times. He has nothing to prove to anyone. I can put my trust in a God like that.

We know a lot of people have been praying for us. Many people are not aware but divorce is almost final. Five marriage counselors and almost 18 ½ years… feels like a few lifetimes….

In our culture we worship a marriage certificate more than we care about the health of the marriage, itself. (We probably worship a marriage certificate almost even more than we worship a GPA.)

This idolatry is a scary and not-so-easy-to-detect-sometimes thing.

And also if marriage was “The-End-All-Above-All-Most-Important-Thing-Ever” then why would God have turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt when she turned back? Just something I’ve been thinking about… He went on without her because she turned back when God said not to. The Bible is called The LIVING Word and He still leads us when we pray to Him (no matter what anyone else tells you.)

Our culture only says it’s a broken marriage if people SEE divorce happen.

But, Beautiful Precious You, you may already be all too aware that a marriage is broken SUCH a very, very, very long time before a divorce ever happens. God gave information about divorce to PROTECT women; not to imprison them. God hates divorce because …it’s purely awful and horrible and tears apart something that should have been together …but as we can see in The Bible He NEVER hates divorced people.

We (people) like to judge by if something looks like a “success” to us. But I believe MANY things we don’t call success are actually very successful in the view of eternity.

Going through this heartache, several people (mostly from church if you’d like to know the sad truth about it – but praise God my faith is in HIM and NOT in people) have shown that when we finally tell and they SEE something’s been going on, they will turn their backs on us. But the thing is that it was an extremely emotionally unhealthy atmosphere and we HAD to get out. Our bodies were screaming, telling us to get out long before we did. (We’ve been out just over a year now and my hair is even growing back! I wasn’t aware that the stress of it all had been taking such a toll on my physical health and my daughters’ too. Marriage should not ever be a Death Sentence. I have so much more to say. Maybe someday I’ll write a book. Pray about that with me.)

(A side note because it needs to be said: I hear you. Don’t worry, Modern-Day-Pharisee-Bible-Thumpers, I see you wagging your finger at me. And I’m still glad you’re here even with the log in your eye. If you’re trying to keep some kind of score because you feel the need to focus on sin in my life instead of what needs to be done in your life, then yes, I’ll let you know there was sexual sin on both sides, so maybe you can somehow rest a little more knowing that…? But, Beautiful You, there is so much more sin I committed before I was married and didn’t “honor the marriage bed and keep it holy.”  I might write a book on that some day. If it’s not my marriage bed, I didn’t/don’t belong in it, watching it, hearing about it, or reading about it. Neither do you…. Okay, now back to the article.)

God says He is our Deliverer. And even today God is STILL our Deliverer and He helped us WHEN my kids and I finally fasted and prayed for the mountain in front of us to be moved. That mountain moved.

He says faith moves mountains and the wonderful Truth is our faith STILL moves mountains.

He’s brought so many new friends and also support from many friends we’ve known a long time and many we met only online. The more we follow, the more He brings laughter, healing, and ….Deep calls to deep is the best way I can describe it.

A person we met online has believed in what God is doing in our lives about this Alaska homeless place I believe will be for sex-trafficked girl survivors. This place has not yet in existence outside my visions and dreams yet this person has donated an amount every month for over a year now.

In fact it started one month after my kids and I got out. Talk about giving me confirmation that God sees it all!

It may seem like a small thing. It’s not.

This consistent act of faith on this person’s part God has been using to make my faith even stronger. He is more than able to open and close doors to guide us. God has used this one person to be a constant reminder that He is faithful, He still leads, provides, guides, and to remind me that He sees everything and He is more than able no matter what anyone else says.

Please never think that you doing something for someone is not enough. It IS enough. And ONE person CAN make a difference.

Also after many prayers of where to work a couple years ago, my oldest was led to a job where she’s been able to learn more than any other classroom could teach her. She’s found her voice, learned how to deal with unkind customers and others, and found balance of when and how to ask for help when she needs it. This adult life is a constant place of learning more and of deciding to put everything in God’s hands or not. I’ve seen a shy, little girl grow into a bold, God-loving young woman who shares Him in every interaction as she works and serves.

And a few months ago after weeks and weeks of fervent prayer about my youngest, for God to reveal more how to use her talents He gave her, she was led to archery. She’s got a natural talent. The team qualified for Nationals and we received some financial help and we also used all we had to be able to go to Nationals.

Her archery team has now qualified for the World Championship.

A friend just donated toward this, and again, I have to give glory to God as my faith gets stronger. Of course it’s not always through money but He definitely has the ability to open and close doors financially as He guides us. (If you are moved to give to something, then give, and if you aren’t, then don’t. It’s just always that simple.)

Our prayer is if we’re supposed to go, God will provide the way and if we’re not, that’s okay too and we pray for peace either way. It seems most of the team has given up on going because the cost financially looks too high.

But it’s more than that. We are supposed to stay in constant prayer about everything and money is not my god. God is my God. We’re asking for prayers. If we’re not supposed to go, then so be it and if we are then He will provide the way; the hotel, the airfare, food, transportation when we get there, and everything else I’m not thinking to mention. We’ve been told this would be about $1,000 each person.

That maybe sounds kind of silly to go shoot a few arrows.

But it’s SO MUCH more than that. It’s courage, confidence, life-skills, and more.

Whether we go to the archery World Championship or not, only God knows. We’re just asking for peace and His direction.

ALL of this has to do with my testimony.

And all I’ve shared here about my life leads me to this. And I can’t stop thinking about it.

What about YOU?

Whatever you’ve been praying about or worried about or talking about or thinking about, if you’re reading this, you’ve been lifted up to Him in prayer too.

Our God STILL hears, and He STILL answers. He STILL opens and closes doors. The winds and the waves STILL know HIS NAME.

He STILL restores what’s been stolen;

Your faith? He is able.

Your joy? He is able.

Peace? HE IS ABLE.

I pray He increases your faith as you put trust in HIM and not what the world says and I pray He helps you to submit all things to Him through prayer asking Him to lead you every day.

He’s got you.

HE IS ABLE.

And NOTHING is wasted.

 

For Somebody Who Needs To Hear.

Beautiful You, please don’t take things so personally. People just don’t know what they don’t know. People sometimes turn their backs on you WHILE you’re going though all the stuff that makes a powerful testimony and that is unfortunate.

But that same testimony you have from it all will someday silence a room and is the very key that will help unlock other people’s prison doors.

Jesus did everything without sin and people still walk away from Him. How much more will it happen to us if it happens to Him?

Lay it down at His feet in prayer (every day if you keep picking it back up.) He sees it all and He understands and He loves you fiercely.

NOTHING is wasted.

There’s More To It

It’s okay if you don’t read this.

I didn’t even know I was writing this out loud until my fingers started typing.

If you’re going to read it, read all of it and don’t just decide you know what I’m saying by skimming or stopping.

I never cared about Alaska until God did this thing in me. When anyone would ask me where I wanted to go if I could go anywhere in the world, I never had an answer.

Now, my heart has been transplanted into Alaska for the past 7 years already.

This is not actually a blog post about divorce but I’m going to say a minute about it so hang on.

If you came here to argue, Beautiful You, there’s just no room for that today. Maybe we can talk about that another time. I’m glad you’re passionate. What you think is important to me but I’m not here to debate. Lord knows, that’s what my marriage was; a debate.

And I’m quite tired of that, to be honest. God surely has bigger things for you to do with your life than to spend it in debate. I believe this with all my heart.

When I was a little girl and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I said “a wife and mommy.” I’ve been a wife, twice. And I’m wondering if perhaps single is more of a blessing than I could have ever understood before. I believe people who have been divorced can speak on divorce, just as people who have been through other things can better speak on what experiences they have known. While God says He hates divorce, God does NOT hate divorced people, and when people go through stuff, whatever it is, you WILL find who cares for you and who actually does not. There’s blessing in that.

Anyway, when I answered the grown ups, they always, without fail, would tilt their heads, look at me and say, “NO. What do you want to BE?”

As if…. being a mom is not enough?… I didn’t understand it. Being a mom IS a calling and being a mom IS enough.

After many years I realized they were asking what paying job I wanted.

But even beyond being a mom to my 2 strong, warrior girls, I feel God is going to give me a place where I’m a mom figure to many who need one in this Alaska homeless place He’s had my heart already living at for the past 7 years.

When kids tell us what they want to be when they grow up maybe, just maybe, they actually KNOW more than the grown ups around them are able to hear.

I can’t help but wonder if we listened better to them, and prayed more constantly over them as they grow, and if we focus on their God-given talents and strengths (instead of hiding the talents and focusing on weaknesses by trying to keep a grade point average of above a C, which is for another blog post another day. Don’t get lost being mad at me for saying so because there’s so much more to talk about and discover.) …HOW INCREDIBLE this place would look if people all lived out their calling and not what others said they “should” be doing?

(Hiding talents. I’ve read about that somewhere.)

This is what I’m saying.

Some people who have read this blog a while and who have been praying for my family and ministry don’t know my current situation. Some know a little.

I’m not hiding. In fact, I know He is using it all. For sure God keeps helping me find more healthy boundaries. I believe Him when He says He uses ALL things for good for those who are called according to His purpose.

My favorite Verse growing up was Romans 8:28 And we know that God works ALL THINGS together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. (emphasis, mine.)

 

When I started writing today this is where I was.

 

I feel like I have received a Master’s Degree in deciphering messages. I know that may sound silly – but it’s not. When you go through stuff you learn; not just in a school classroom setting.

And sometimes what looks like a fail isn’t a fail at all. In the world view, lots of things LOOK like a fail but in the view of Eternity you maybe learned exactly what you needed to learn to fulfill what you were created for.

Just for a second think about this.

Sometimes a job, even if you were there for about a minute or for 20 years, teaches you how to deal with co-workers or supervisors in a better way.

But if the job ends, people tell you “too bad that didn’t work out.”

Who said so?

Maybe it worked out very well and just how it needed to and you learned just exactly what you were supposed to learn.

People get mad when “the band breaks up.” But what if the band was for a season? What if the band wasn’t even supposed to be together in the first place? What if God actually hadn’t brought them together? Or what if the band WAS supposed to be together and then it was truly time to do the next thing? (I’m literally talking about bands here and not marriage so do not crucify for what you THINK I may be saying. I have lots more to say about divorce and remarriage but that will be another day.)

People are constantly – and loudly – upset about things that other people do that don’t even really affect their lives anyway.

Stop persecuting people for trying to figure out this thing called life.

If only God would use messed up people in messy situations…. oh wait, He does.

It’s time to shut out all the noise and stay in prayer. God’s got this and He has a reason in every lesson.

Here it is.

For the past 18 years… or rather, for the past lot longer than that actually, I’m learning to listen better with ears to hear. (I may be slower than some but am finding I’m finally learning to listen better to what is actually being said; for example, if someone says “I love you” with words but “Get away from me” with actions. I do not feel like I’ve missed out on anything but I get that this also sounds silly because it was 18 years of Groundhog Day and 50 First Dates of nonsense, truly.) I was an easy target.

In a few weeks, I will be divorced. Again.

(Guys, by the time someone is divorcing, you can stop yelling at them telling them they’re “doing it all wrong!” A wife is to submit to her husband and to God but the husband’s moods should not BE her God. AND the husband is to submit to God and also cherish and love his wife AS Christ loves the church. People often, way way – way – too often, hold the wife accountable and the husband – not so much. Another day I’ll be glad to listen to you talk about this if you get stuck here. But not today.)

I feel like if anything, God is making it clear that I’M NOT the one doing the work He’s put on my heart and that by the time He brings me there, that place where visions catch up to real time, it will be clear to anyone watching my life that I’ve been discredited more than enough and yet all of it will be for God’s glory, and not happening by my appearances and CERTAINLY NOT by my ability.

When I’m weak, He is strong.

I read that somewhere.

I’ve been married for 7 years, a single mom for a year. Now married for over 18 years and a single mom again for the past year (as we’ve been separated by my request and need for healthy space.)

The first divorce there was loneliness and sorrow like I can’t explain.

But this (marriage and) divorce has been loneliness, fear, and hopelessness and begging God to find mercy on me.

And He surely has.

I haven’t ever told anyone yet but now at this time I am.

In FOUR of the recurring dreams and visions (I can think of right now) my almost former husband was not in any of them. I didn’t think much of this a few years ago but now it makes more sense to me. I’m not saying God caused or didn’t cause things to happen or not happen but that He is MORE than able to give us insight any time He chooses to.

The more isolated and lonely you feel the more alone time you can have with Him. There’s SUCH blessing in that.

There was the one recurring dream with the many, many white doors, which is where the girls and I stayed for a few days in August 2017 when we took some space away for 3 weeks (then we were back for 6 months; it did not get better but worse and we fasted and prayed to get out. God still is our Deliverer.) I walked through that place almost throwing up because the confirmation was so loud.

Then there was a recurring dream with a specific thing about the windows… which is where we are now. And when I was awake I knew it wasn’t Alaska yet but I just knew it felt good to be there. I kept calling this one “the feel good place.” I kind of brushed it off because I knew it wasn’t Alaska yet. But here we are waiting.

Then there was the dream about the white posts and a yellow tent which I am wondering if it’s the ferry but haven’t seen that one yet in awake life. I’ll get back to you on this when it happens if you care to hear.

And then there is the one where I’m standing in the campsite of the Alaska homeless place God’s put on my heart and I believe where He’s leading us in the future.

I didn’t think anything about my almost former husband not being in any of those dreams and visions until last year.

And though I’ve grieved a thousand tears a thousand times over it’s not because I felt loved and lost a love. It’s because I (my kids along with me) was stuck in a bad place (putting it gently) and was trying to make it work the best I ever could because some day I will have to stand alone and face my God with my choices; all of them, and I can, knowing I truly feel I gave all I had to this marriage except my last breath.

A relationship should not be a battlefield but mine was; all the way back to the beginning… we’ve had too many fights and some should have been a wake up call to me but I knew many people would turn their backs on me if I divorced. Until I could bear the weight of all the judgment and it was lighter than the weight of the daily atmosphere of hostility, I couldn’t go. But it was either my body is going to shut off permanently or I must get out.

But over the years I just kept thinking “well it’s marriage so it’s supposed to work.”

But sometimes… it just doesn’t.

And you know what? God STILL shows up. He STILL uses things that appear to be broken.

But maybe it’s not so broken after all. He is THE Author of time. And He still restores what’s been stolen. My kids and I have seen Him show up day after day after day in such amazing ways since we no longer put a person’s moods first and we are not fighting a daily constant fight in our own home living out our faith about Alaska.

People may think what they want to but our faith is as strong as ever and God is with us. This, we know. And, OH, my kids! My kids have learned SO much about relationships and what healthy things to look for. If I’d known what they know at 16 and 21, WOW! (But I maybe would be writing a very different article. Only God knows that.)

Anyway, just saying there’s blessing in what looks like a mess.

When I first started telling people about Alaska (November 2013) and this vision God revealed to me, people came out of – everywhere – for over a week (maybe longer) saying the same thing:

“It’s not going to happen like you think it will.”

I’ve never heard that so much before (or after) in my whole life.

People I didn’t even talk with before would just walk up to me and within a minute said those words.

I was like, “What in the world?!” “I don’t even have an idea of how this homeless place will look, Lord, so why are all these people bringing this to me? Even so, I’m listening.”

And NOW I can’t count the number of people I’ve met and I have the phone numbers of police, domestic violence counselors, mediators, attorneys, house inspectors, architects, mental health counselors, teachers, construction guys, financial girls, and the list goes on.

When people asked me demanding an answer, “You …and what army? You and what army are going to do this work in Alaska?!”

All I know is that we see God providing all we need to do this work.

And though I may not have known He was doing this before 7 years ago, I believe it’s actually purpose He wrote into me when He knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

My answer is simple. Me and His army, I guess. He’s got my attention and I have to follow Him.

I counted the cost and the cost was high.

If I was leaning on my own understanding I could buy a ticket and go straight to Alaska this week, but I feel that we’re still supposed to wait on Him in the Bellingham area for now (like I felt we were supposed to wait in Texas a while after we had packed the boxes.)

So, we will wait.

….Lookin’ like a fool like the date He put on my heart, April 1^st.

And when He says go – 

we will go.

 

And I say all this because I can’t help but wonder this one more thing…

What did He knit into you?

I pray you share about all the trials and all the things that people think were bumps in the road but that were actually moments God was bringing you closer to the purpose He created you for.

And don’t worry if some will judge you. Give yourself permission to let that go now. Because there will ALWAYS be some who waste their precious time doing that. But, Beautiful You, you have (SO much) more important things to do than to get distracted about that.

He will test you.

He will stretch you.

Make no mistake, He already believes in you. I believe with you, and you can believe in what He’s calling you to. (THAT already is a cord of three!)

EVERY DAY

ALL THE TIME

He wants you to know where you put your hope; in a place, person, business, school, health, church, money, hoping others will finally notice what you’re capable of?

Or is your hope in HIM?

Zombie Apocalypse

Those difficult people are …dead inside. They are miserable. They can’t feel empathy. They try to get you upset because at least then they feel …SOMETHING.

And if people don’t know God they don’t know love. These are His words; not mine.

If they don’t know love, they don’t know HOW to love you AND they can’t love themselves in a healthy way.

 

They simply don’t know how.

Like a zombie apocalypse, they’re everywhere and they want to bite you with sharp words and actions and make you die inside too.

This is where grace and compassion show up.

You have something they don’t. They want it but don’t know how to get it. They’re envious but they won’t express this in healthy ways because they’re not even understanding what they’re missing.

When this truly sinks in, it has power to already take away some of the pain they’ve caused.

When you know God, His love can’t HELP but spill over from your life to theirs.

 

Lord, shine and bring the dead to life.

Help us help people take the graveclothes off.

 

 

Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” he said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.” –John 11:38-44

To The Ones With A Gentle Spirit

People get so mad.

About everything.

About that this isn’t a full sentence.

Like hate-filled, gossip about you, unfriend you, crucify you, plain and ugly, wish death on you, angry.

They do it about just ….well, about everything.

If you don’t like what someone likes or approve of what a group does, so SO MANY people (and it seems like more all the time) treat you as if they now choose YOU as an enemy.

Precious You, if you’re still reading this and you’re not already writing a hundred word essay about how wrong I am with this blog post, your gentle, warrior spirit is open and please know you’re not the enemy and hear that it’s not about you. Your gentle spirit is a fresh relief from the hostility to anyone with eyes to see. Thank you for being here.

It’s about “lovers of self.” It’s a Biblically prophesied-over, already expected, spiritual war.

And in the middle of it all: is a spirit of pride.

You know the situations I’m talking about.

It happens at work, school, home, in marriages, those you-better-be-at-the-next-family-reunion-or-else (dare I say) celebrations, stores, vacations, church, standing in line, post offices, coffee shops, hospitals, restaurants, wherever you feel led to serve, and everywhere else I didn’t think to mention.

And God tells us to avoid people who are behaving this way.

Check out what 2 Timothy 3:1-9 says about it.

Difficult Times Will Come.

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a FORM OF godliness, although they have denied its power; AVOID such men as these. For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, ALWAYS learning and NEVER ABLE to come to the KNOWLEDGE OF TRUTH. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith. BUT THEY WILL NOT MAKE FURTHER PROGRESS; for their folly will be obvious to ALL, just as Jannes’s and Jambres’s folly was also.

(emphasis, mine.)

Read through that list again.

It’s insane how many of these words fit everyday situations.

The number of prideful, arrogant people — who have no Holy Spirit so they are able to show no grace — seems as if a giant Goliath and the grace-filled people with quiet strength for the battles seem like David.

(But we all know how that story goes. David defeated Goliath so there’s that.

1 Samuel 17:47-50

Verse 47

“…All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, AND HE WILL give all of you into our hands.”)

Praise God for people who are after His own heart!

Acts 13:22

But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man AFTER MY OWN HEART. He will do everything I want him to do.’

David’s oldest brother was mad at him telling him he could not do what David KNEW he was there to do. His brother (Eliab) said his (David’s) heart was wicked, BUT GOD SAYS David was a man after GOD’S own heart! Praise God that he listened to what he knew he could do and did not listen to the ones who didn’t believe and who were jealous.

1 Samuel 17:28-32

When Eliab, David’s oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, “Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the wilderness? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle.”

“Now what have I done?” said David. “Can’t I even speak?” He then turned away to someone else and brought up the same matter, and the men answered him as before. What David said was overheard and reported to Saul, and Saul sent for him.

David said to Saul, “Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.”

(And then even the king didn’t believe David could do what he knew he was there to do.

1 Samuel 17:33

Saul replied, “You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth.”

Sometimes people don’t know what they don’t know.)

 

Whatever unkind, without understanding or trying to see things from your side of the world, prideful ways people act toward you, aren’t your burdens to take on yourself.

These aren’t your behaviors and you can gently, gracefully respond (remembering a gentle word turns away wrath. Proverbs 15:1.)

And you can boldly say, “NO, thank you. The way you’re talking to me isn’t going to be okay. Maybe we can try again another time.” (But maybe not. YOU get to choose. And I pray you find more healthy boundaries – and enforce them – all the time.)

Whether it’s something that has deeply hurt my feelings or feels as if it’s blocking me somehow from what I know in my spirit that I’m supposed to be doing, God has taught me to stop in the moment, just breathe, and (immediately remember to) ask Him 3 questions in every situation:

(Note: This works SO, so, so much better if I do this BEFORE I get my feelings in the way, but often truthfully it happens after something hurt my heart more than I’d like to admit… because I forgot that this life is not about me and yet again tried to make it about me… but 3 things are:)

“Lord, what do You want me to LEARN from this?”

“What do You want me to DO with this?”

“How can I honor YOU in this?”

We get so offended too easily and take on other people’s angry pride as if it’s something we “should” carry. Because honestly people have become really good, experts even, at trying to make others absorb their unresolved junk in life that they have not (maybe purposefully and perhaps not so much) dealt with. It comes out as heavy artillery in our direction. Some days this is overt and MUCH of the time it’s covert. And people use a thousand different tactics to try to make you accept their stuff. (Rest in the Truth that God sees ALL of it and NOTHING is hidden from Him!)

But it’s not ours to carry.

And if we started to, we can lay it down.

We are to mourn when people mourn and rejoice when people rejoice. (Romans 12:15)

But to carry what they won’t hand over to God is not your responsibility.

It’s theirs.

Like a good coach or employer or father would do, God has purpose in everything He allows us to experience whether we’re too short-sighted sometimes to see it or not.

The next time someone does or says something that hurts you, I’m asking you to pray these 3 things because we have been PROMISED we can cast all our cares on Him.

1 Peter 5:7

Cast ALL your anxiety ON HIM

BECAUSE HE CARES for YOU.

Are you doing your part? Every day? Casting your cares?

Carrying that junk that others have been trying to pile on you is way heavy.

And it needs to go.

A Kids’-Eye View of Christmas

Amy says it so well here!

We wish you a stress-free and blessed Christmas!

Homeschooling Now

The day had gone bad and the evening wasn’t getting better.

The garbage disposal had completely stopped working the day before because a small piece of metal from a pair of tongs had fallen down the drain and gotten hopelessly caught in the mechanism. So we had food debris and water backed up in our sink, and dishes piled to the ceiling. And since our dryer had broken recently, and we had already spent time dealing with that, it was especially exasperating.

What is going to break next? I wondered.

And the defunct garbage disposal was just the tip of the iceberg. Messes—including random paperwork and Christmas decorations the kids had dredged up from the basement without asking first—were piled high around the house. The kids had been bickering a lot, bringing out the worst in me. To make matters worse, my husband had been mostly absent all week, stressed…

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Question Of Your Faith

When someone tells you he feels God told him something, put a specific ministry on his heart, revealed something to him, led him… or whatever words you can let your mind wrap around, why do you think people are often so quick to tell him it isn’t true?

And why do people say, when he talks about feeling called to a specific place by God to help homeless people, “Well …there are homeless people everywhere.”

Well, yes, there are. And even still God calls people to specific places sometimes.

That’s like when you hear a guy is going to get married, telling him, “Well there are women everywhere.”

Well …yes. But that would be kind of silly and kind of decreases how special this specific bride is to him.

Many people (who say they’re Christians with their voices) have also said that God doesn’t lead people anymore.

He does still lead.

He still answers prayers, He still parts the waters, calms the storms, helps us walk through fires, closes the mouths of lions, and faith still moves mountains.

It’s a LIVING Word; active and still alive.

 

This is not a question of the person’s faith who shares what he believes God is doing with him – but a question of theirs.

 

The God Who made every detail

of every detail

of every little detail

of the whole universe is SURELY able to guide people and speak and pour out His plans however He chooses into anyone He decides to.

Do you REALLY not know He is able to do this even now in 2018? The Truth is that you don’t even breathe air without His provision.

Maybe this is why the word believe happens so often through Scripture. You actually have to believe.

 

So the 2 questions are:

Do you not believe He can still call people?

Or do you not believe He’d call someone because YOU don’t see that someone as qualified?

 

From what The Bible says God has often called the least likely to do some pretty incredible work.

Perhaps this is why He says it’s so important to keep meeting with other believers.

Some just don’t, or won’t, or can’t believe.

But some do.

And make no mistake that when someone hears and stays focused in prayer, praise, fasting, and serving toward God’s purpose in him, this STILL opens doors to make something impossible become possible.

 What would your day look like if you really believe?

 

Pressure

We bought an old mirror for about 8 dollars at a thrift store. I securely attached it to the wall, adjusted the placement (twice actually) and a few nights later we had heard a noise but didn’t realize what it was.

The pipes in the walls shake a bit as evident by some sounds, and perhaps also I installed it with some uneven pressure.

Maybe it was both. Don’t know.

Either way the next morning this is what we found.

It was broken.

This broken mirror happened during some of the most intense pressure in our lives EVER. We have been walking through fire.

There has been judgment without conversation, hate without understanding, gossip without much thought of damage, and yet in the middle of it all God has been providing blessing after blessing in ways we can’t even explain (we pray to some day share in writing.) We will choose to praise Him.

Sometimes it’s not about what happened or an event in life that is the actual heaviest part that threatens to break you.

But the weight of the heavy judgment

from almost everyone –

or sometimes even from just one person – can be SO heavy.

Lay it down. You don’t have to carry this weight.

It’s sad that this is even a thing because the truth is people don’t have to be mad or mean to each other because I will stand before God for my choices and you will stand before Him for yours. This includes the way we treat ourselves and others. Perhaps life is a lot about learning to become more healthy and help other people heal too.

 

AS IF my kids and I had needed a visual aid, this cracked mirror happened right on cue.

Sometimes pressures ON you

(possibly some self-inflicted pressures – in the view of eternity,)

IN you

(stuff you don’t take captive and make obedient to Christ,)

and AROUND you

(happen to you and some have nothing to do with your choices but rather choices that have been made for you,)

in life will either break you and produce curses from your mouth

or refine you and produce praises from your mouth.

It’s so cool (and by Design) that nobody or no thing that happens has the power to take this away from you.

The choice

has always been

and

will always be

only

yours.

 

Sparkles

I have a bed. I have a mattress a church helped us buy, and a castle-sized frame a new friend built for us. I am glad.

At first I thought it would be too high and I would be scared to sleep so I thought I was going to put my mattress on the floor and sleep in a cute cave (dungeon) but instead I have a tiny dungeon library/prayer closet underneath and I sleep in the keep of my castle.

I have been praying about bed frames that would make cozy places for me and my mom and sister to just be.

This whole thing is about God answering my prayers.

-Chelsea

–

I’ve kind of always seen my bed as my safe place. It’s my own space where I can read, pray, cry, and my mom can kiss me goodnight.

I have my own castle now. I have a prayer “closet” underneath and I can rest in the castle bed above.

Several months ago a grouchy customer ordered a double 8 ounce extra hot latte. I was glad when he left the store. As a barista part of my job is to learn names of customers to write on their cups. One time he told me his name but I had forgotten it and he wouldn’t tell me again so I told him with a smile that his name would from then on be Sparkle because of his (not so) sparkly attitude.

This grouchy customer, acquaintance, now friend just built me and my mom and sister bed frames.

I have been praying about our own safe place for longer than I can remember. Sparkle has been an unexpected blessing and I still make him his double 8 ounce extra hot latte with a smile and deep appreciation.

-Chloe

–

Sometimes answers to prayers come in unexpected ways and times.

I have been praying about furniture many other needs and our own space for a long while now. God has opened doors to the impossible: the miracle of a safe, non-judgmental, Jesus-loving, precious, generous family to stay with for several weeks as we waited in prayer expecting more miracles but not even having answers yet, an apartment with a washer and dryer from the previous tenant, three bikes to get around town, a microwave from someone, toilet paper and paper towels as we moved in, a few donations, advice and help from kind, gentle counselors and low income offices designed to help lift people out of situations they’ve found themselves in, a church helped us buy mattresses, and now a carpenter with hidden kindness built us bed frames with prayer closets underneath. I slept there the first night and felt like a kid in a treehouse.

I remember my daughter talking about this customer who was grouchy and not so fun to be around. The thing is … his heart is actually bigger than anyone knows and I’m not supposed to tell anyone but can’t help it because his kindness has been more proof again to us that God answers prayers when we ask, seek, wait, and keep placing our trust in Him no matter what anyone else says.

I thanked him several times for being such a blessing to me and my girls.

Then – he thanked US for being an answer to HIS prayers as a way he could serve his Lord.

God answers prayers.

I may not know exactly what prayer answers you’re waiting for – but I have to tell you that God does answer and He does provide in very real ways. He can be trusted and He is faithful. He delivers, answers, heals, redeems, restores, and He cares. I’m agreeing in prayer with you right now for answers to the questions you have. May God bless you and lead you to people who reflect the love of God and add a little sparkle to your life.

-Kerri

It is all about faith

We will (sometimes not so patiently but mostly patiently yet always expectantly) wait on the Lord here in Washington for the Alaska homeless place (we believe will be for sex-trafficked survivor girls) we every day constantly feel Him teaching and preparing us for in the future whatever His timing is. We know He’s got this. He is faithful and He rewards those who wait on Him and keep putting their trust in Him.

In The Way

I may not know much but I know something about homelessness. I know enough to understand it’s not quite as simple as some make it out to be.

Maybe they dug a hole for themselves — but maybe not. Either way it seems most people they come in contact with want to bury them.

It takes more stamina to be homeless than any other experience I’ve ever known.

If more people experienced this for themselves they’d show more respect.

Someone once told me that some women want more stability than others. I told him this is not the case and every woman (and man) would like stability — but perhaps a house doesn’t provide this and Jesus says we don’t even know what tomorrow holds anyway.

ANYONE can be months or one devastating event away from homelessness.

Check out James 4:14 How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.

And Proverbs 27:1 Don’t brag about tomorrow, since you don’t know what the day will bring.

 

What if instead of judging you just pray in the moment when you see a homeless person?

Prayer only costs you a few minutes and it’s a MUCH more beneficial way to spend those few minutes for you and for others instead of deciding you know better about a situation.

A couple years ago as I talked with an angry homeless man I told him I’d also been homeless for a few weeks. He told me I needed to try it longer before I had anything to say about it. Having experienced homelessness 3 times now and for different reasons, I have something to say (whether this angry guy thinks I do or not.)

There are probably as many reasons for homelessness as there are people who are homeless.

Some choose it and some don’t.

It seems to me many show disgust about the homeless probably because they just don’t understand and are uncomfortable with it and probably don’t realize they are adding to the problem by their disregard for humanity.

 

And who cares if people try anyway?

If they try too hard there’s no assistance but if they don’t try hard enough they’re treated as less than human. When you’re treated as less than human long enough, part of you begins to believe that lie.

 

And it can happen faster than you’d think.

And forget TELLing anyone you’re homeless because the moment you do, most people tend to treat you as if they think you just want something from them.

The thing I’ve noticed most is that they (we) just may want someone to listen so they can talk through the situation they’re facing today. (I say “we” because my daughters and I are homeless also so we’re sharing some things we’ve noticed through our experiences. For those who think they know all the details of our lives we are here to remind you that you just don’t.)

But I get it.

Lots of people DO want something from you; mostly because they’ve noticed that this is how people view them so they have started (or even fully accepted the lies) to believe there’s not much other reason for a conversation, because most view them as helpless.

If you’re viewed and treated as helpless for long enough, it’s easy to begin to accept this fate — though it’s FAR from ANYONE’S truth.

This conceited mindset, that if a homeless person talks with you he or she MUST be trying to get something from you, may be causing you to miss out on some Divine Appointments and ONLY God knows which one of you He’s blessing with each encounter or maybe it’s both. Thinking you’re obviously blessing a homeless person by just taking time to listen to them is vanity. They may very well have something to offer you but pride clouds your vision to be able to see clearly.

It actually doesn’t cost much for you to listen.

The truth is that most of the time you cannot solve the issues going on anyway and it wouldn’t do a whole lot of good if you did. Usually attitude has to change for the better before a situation gets and stays healthier.

But you CAN be kind.

 

It’s EXTREMELY difficult to live while feeling in the way almost all the time to almost everyone.

 

True. Some people do act crazy to keep others away (and some people do have mental issues) and I encourage you to ALWAYS use wisdom and listen to your gut feeling. If something seems wrong listen to that and leave the situation. God gave you that for a reason. I’m not telling anyone to carelessly just be with or around someone because clearly sometimes there are dangers — but those kind of dangers are there whether the person you’re encountering lives in a house or not. (My life is full of examples of this.)

But Jesus says to love the least of these and the homeless population are some of the least. We ALL are the least of these.

Matthew 25:37-40 “Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’

If anyone gives even a cup of water in Jesus’ Name… I mean you can give a cup of water anyway BUT when you do this in Jesus’ Name, there is eternal blessing; treasure in Heaven.

Matthew 10:42 “… And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.”

Care for your neighbors. You know about the good Samaritan story. Right? Who are your “neighbors?”

The Bible does NOT say that the good Samaritan had to know exactly what the man beside the road believed about The Bible or salvation before he helped him.

He just helped him anyway.

Even with all the popular cultural messed up political views, he just helped how he was moved to help.

Luke 10:31-34 “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

“Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him.

 

The Bible DOES say you’ll know Christians by their love.

John 13:35 “…By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love among one another.”

By love, you can read on knowing I don’t mean enabling, but rather serving others however God puts on your heart to serve.

You do your part — since you are going to answer how you give, serve, and love.

And the receiver is going to be held responsible for his (or her) part, as he is responsible for what he does with the gift he’s been given whether money, food, or other gifts.

 

It’s actually very simple.

If you’re moved to give in some way, then give.

If you’re not, then don’t.

 

But NOWHERE is it helpful to be condemning.

 

The whole cheerful giver thing… attitude matters SO much. It’s a heart thing and it always has been.

2 Corinthians 9:7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

 

I can see there is a certain charm to be found in chronic homelessness though; the less stuff we have, the less we might worry.

Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

You and I both know there are some who choose to stay homeless — and that’s okay.

But there are those who would like for life to include a house of some kind.

…It’s almost kind of silly though — as if a house equals dignity or something.

It doesn’t.

I’ve looked into the eyes of a homeless man and I’ve seen hopelessness.

I’ve also looked into the eyes of a man who lives in a very nice house and seen the same hopelessness.

I’ve looked into the eyes of a homeless man and seen hope.

And I’ve seen the same hope in the eyes of a man who lives in a big house.

The difference is not in what they have but in Who they have.

 

From my view many people seem to expect more from homeless people yet secretly feel they know all the reasons for their homelessness in the first place — and also all the solutions.

But the truth is the more that many people try to do better, earn better, and climb out of the seemingly bottomless pit that homelessness is, the more others pile on the heavy judgment and weight of the nothingness that others think they are.

The thing is – it’s not designed to climb out.

And when you ever DO try to climb out the ladder rungs are so coated with slime that when you reach up it just feels impossible and defeating in ten different ways every time.

People look down on you because of what you own or don’t — and that’s just nonsense.

Why would anyone look down on someone based on something they don’t own?

The truth is most people don’t own their house anyway; the bank does.

 So perhaps the view is a bit warped from where some are seated with such high regard for themselves.

Many people want to be independent and want others to be independent also but the truth is we’re all dependent on each other; like if the electric company didn’t do its job then you wouldn’t have electricity no matter how much money you could give them, and the grocery store without groceries wouldn’t be able to provide food to buy no matter how much money you have.

Jesus says we’re to care for each other (and be dependent on Him which goes against popular thinking.) And there are even many curses if we don’t care for the poor. That’s more than a little scary to me.

 

Help the poor.

 

Proverbs 28:27 Those who give to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses.

Proverbs 22:9 The generous will themselves be blessed, for they share their food with the poor.

And also if someone won’t work The Bible talks about this too.

2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.

 

 

Many ARE willing to work but FEEL hopeless.

I find it’s difficult for ANYone to do better while feeling defeated.

 

We each have some responsibility toward improving this mindset.

 

But as far as a healthy view of homelessness goes I know A Man Who walked this earth and could have had riches stored up and magnificent houses but chose homelessness and from what I’ve read had QUITE The Ministry even so.

His Name is Jesus.

 

He promises:

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust IN THE LORD with ALL your heart

and lean NOT on your own understanding;

in ALL your ways SUBMIT TO HIM,

AND HE WILL make your paths straight.

 

And

 

Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God

above ALL ELSE, and live righteously,

AND HE WILL give you everything you need.

Not my god.

Efficiency is not my god.
Thriftiness is not my god.
Status is not my god.
Whether I have a house or I am homeless; this is not my god.
Fame is not my god.
Money is not my god.
Ethnicity. NOT my god.
What other people think is not my god.
Planning is not my god.
Procrastination. Not my god.
“My schedule” is not my god.
Laziness. No.
Busyness. Nope.
Worry. NOT my god.
Perfection. Not my god.
Tradition is not my god.
Addiction is not my god.
Regret. Not my god.
Fear is not my god.
Education is not my god.
Health. Not my god.
Illness is not my god.
Rejection is not my god.
Acceptance is not my god.
Fads. Not even!
Vanity. NOT.
Food is not my god.
Hunger isn’t my god.
Image. Nope.
Pain. No.
Comparison. No.
Career. Nope.
My employer. Not my god.
Government. Not my god.
Weather. Not even the weather.
Debt is not my god.
Lack is not my god.
Competition is not my god.
Entertainment is NOT my god!
Trophies. My treasures are being stored in Heaven.
Success. NOT my god!
Laundry is not even my god.
Time, itself, is not my god.

God is my God and constant prayer keeps my eyes focused on Him and asking His will for each hour of time He’s gifted to me.

God is my God.

You shall have no other gods before Me.  -Exodus 20:3

 My sheep hear My Voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.  –John 10:27

 

 

Something about the War on Marriage

Today I’m exhausted from a million days of fighting in a Meaningless War of Distraction meant for no one to ever win.

With sincere words of pleading I’ve been trudging through endless quicksand in combat that undoubtedly I was never intended to survive.

The hostile environment, threatening to suffocate, is like a demented play performance from hell that nobody is invited to attend but me and you.

I learned sometimes words are not enough.

Sometimes in spite of my best efforts to communicate, the lines are disconnected by forces beyond my control, as if we are stuck in a perpetual nightmare, asleep, and the Seductress of Division and Sin tramples us.

The languages we speak are not compatible with each other so we go around for days and years in the same circle and I’m dizzy from the not-so-merry-go-round that this relationship became before I was ever invited into it.

Just so you can hear it one more time,

I don’t want out.

I just want you.

But you’re so far away —

even when you’re sitting beside me.

You’re not here.

 

It seems you forgot to notice me — as if you really ever did.

 

I can’t anymore compete against your invisible castle fortress built with most impressive steel clay and icy mortar that can only be found in the Dungeon of Selfishness.

Trophies of Illusion line the walls as support because if they fell you believe it would crush your ability to breathe.

 

But we’re both suffering because of it.

Well done is your quest to lock down your heart as you proudly wear your carefully chosen armor crafted with the Finest Resentment and woven with impenetrable Threads of Defensiveness, though the foul odor of despair is seeping out of the seams.

I’m exhausted from trying to earn a place in your heart that you locked up when you were young never to let anyone in again.

The ONLY victory belongs to the enemy as he cleverly whispers an empty Promise of Entitlement as your reward while the arsenal laced with apathy repeatedly tears me apart to make sure that I bleed Silence.

You pull the strings of the bow as you launch the arrows tipped with poisonous contempt into my day shattering one more time the hope you waved in front of me as if this time you’d extravagantly pour love into me but as soon as hope was there, you snatched it away again.

Can’t you see the scoreboard reveals

Zero for us

and

16 against us ?

The devil profits and cheers, fascinated, because you arrogantly and foolishly wield your Weapon Of Contempt he designed for you to take down the very human you profess to love the most.

Fourteen seconds of attention and then —

once again your corroded barbed wire words cut to the deepest part of me although I try my best again and again to resist the isolation.

The jagged edges and mocking tone of your words sting deeper than any other physical weapon ever could.

It is as if you have been lured and lulled into a trance of constant combat, wearing badges void of honor, but at least you never have to be vulnerable to anybody.

You are safe —

or so you tell yourself.

It’s a celebration that doesn’t make any sense as it deprives you too.

But you get to rejoice and hold onto Control and maybe that’s the whole point.

Or maybe the whole point is that the enemy wants to keep you occupied so that you will not see me.

…I’m left to wonder what life would have been like

if you could have cared for my heart as viciously as you’ve protected yours…

I wonder…

 

I’m talking about more than occasional disagreements;

more than the every once-in-a-while kind of conflict;

You refuse to give me more than a couple words at a time out of self-preservation —

or so it would seem from your view of the world…

As if pouring your words over your lover would steal something you can never recover.

Only somehow you aren’t able to see

— the one you need to protect yourself from is you.

 

I think you forgot you can choose to choose what you actually need.

Make no mistake.

You do have a choice.

You do not have to pick up that familiar crusty old armor today — or tomorrow.

It’s affecting your walk anyway making it clumsy.

You’ve got to be SO tired of its weight.

That’s a heavy burden for anyone to carry.

You should know that living in the Stench of Bitterness is a place that incessantly demands your Everything

and drains the life out of you with no apology.

The enemy tricks you into renting to own the space that was already yours and keeps collecting your joy as payment until you’re completely exhausted and then tirelessly labors to strip you of emotion as you gladly refuse to share your words with your bride.

But since there is nobody to stand up and tell you that, in fact, I’m worth more than the leftover stale carefully weighed scraps you throw to me as affection,

I’m left with a deficient tank and I’m constantly starving for more.

I’m appreciative for any affection

but when I do finally ask for more

your Lust for Dominance over your own words

violently slashes the edge of my reserve tank open

and what little residue I still had

spills out into tears

and your controlling disdain for me reminds me again

and again

and again

and again

and again

why it’s safer

never to ask for more.

It’s how you choose to control your environment.

And you do have a choice.

And from years of studying you I believe it stems from the seed of misery the enemy quietly planted in you when you weren’t even looking.

There aren’t any prison bars around either of us that people can see

but they’re there all the same.

Please know I’m truly not angry —

I’m just hungry for

more

of

you;

more affection and attention from you.

I’m starving.

Usually when people are too hungry

they have been known to be grouchy.

You stole my smile with your secret obsession to hide parts of your life from me yet you insist you need to see genuine, counterfeit happiness displayed on my face so that you might give me another couple of words.

I just can’t.

 

I know God wants me to submit to Him and He wants me to submit to you whether or not I think you’re worthy to submit to.

That is my offering to Him as a wife.

And out of obedience to please Him I try to offer it again and again.

The only way “we” win is if you will also completely surrender to Him.

Lay down your arsenal of pride.

You constantly study The Word but refuse to let It levitate your vision beyond your current view.

And only the genuine integrity of forgiveness (for me and for yourself) can remove the blinders that have been attached to direct your sight away from me.

 

But regardless, the joke is on the enemy.

 

My broken heart is no longer fragile

because

when

my

God

mends

He repairs breaks to be a tougher substance

than any man can dream to create as a reinforcement.

He uses the tears I’ve cried and combines them with His supernatural Comfort and somehow because of Him I still hope. I can still love you because of Him.

But probably to your surprise and despite the hand of the enemy’s depraved wishes against me using my own husband as a weapon, I am no longer lonely.

The hope I have is found only in Jesus Christ!

He hears me cry out to Him.

He lifts me, saves me, carries me, holds me, comforts me because He is my Comforter. He is my Counselor.

You see?

He knows my every fault and every thought that took momentary residence in my mind.

And He loves me even so.

He knows me most intimately

and YET He STILL loves me to the death —

and then some.

He loves me enough to take off the grave clothes that I ignorantly fashioned with my own deepest shame and sin.

He loves me enough that He climbed OUT of that grave and He LIVES for me.

For me!

He is my Deliverer and He gives me Peace in the middle of the storms of life that have choked the gentleman out of you.

The spoils of this war are my obedience to Him and my life laid down for Him.

His promises are real and true and He will never break them.

He breathes life into the most dead parts of my being.

He restores my soul in a way that nothing can explain.

As He throws open the doors with the sweetest sounds of Love, He calls to me.

To ME!

And when I run to Him He wraps me in His arms filled with compassion in spite of my darkest betrayal against Him.

I’m surrounded by His safety. His blessings chase me and capture me as if I’m His most beautiful creature more precious than any flower petal created by the very same God Who redeems me.

He hears me and He knows my deep repentance cry and I am COMPLETELY ADORED by Him.

…All this even while in my own ignorance my sin extracted Jesus’ last breath.

He is mine

and

I

am

unashamedly

His.

 

Dear People Who Feel God Stirring Your Heart to Some Kind of Ministry,

Where do you put your hope?

ONLY YOU know when God whispers to your soul.

It’s something you’ll not soon forget.

Please pray continually about the ministry He’s nudging you to. Every step needs to be saturated in prayer.

When God puts a dream in your heart HE can be trusted to lead you to everything you will need to do the work.

We’ve listened to many, many people tell us that we need to “do things this way” or “that way” because “that’s just the way ministry works.” There is some good advice out there.

But also I’ve heard of brand new ministries that were born into people’s hearts but were aborted because they gave up when a few said, “That’s not possible” or “No. We won’t fund that.” Some give up when faced with churches who want a “5 Year Plan” and won’t even pray with them toward this work.

I just CAN’T find it in the Bible where Jesus said follow committees, preachers, or churches, family, friends, or other leaders, and when they say “No” then give up.

Where is your Hope? In people? In circumstances? In other Christians? Or in God?

I have read that Jesus says “Follow ME.”

God is the God of the impossible. He’s great at making impossible things possible.

The Holy Spirit is here to lead us.

This stuff is real.

What God has put on my heart is that when people and churches and organizations that do NOT donate, whether prayers or money or other kinds of support, that does NOT mean it’s time to give up!

Perhaps God wasn’t using them for this particular ministry.

And that’s okay!

There are many people God does bring you in contact with who believe with you

…BEFORE the physical buildings can be seen,

…BEFORE it “looks official,”

…when it’s still ONLY BY FAITH that you feel compelled to take another step.

We felt God planting in our hearts that He was moving our family from Texas to Alaska to open a homeless teen place. Currently we’re waiting on Him in Washington. He’s training us more every day.

And I still can’t give anyone a 5 year plan. (…probably never will be able to.)

And the funny thing is I can’t find it in The Bible where God says I have to.

As we have stayed in prayer, walking in faith, over the past 4 years, God has led us to people:

with hearts for ministry and specifically for this ministry we feel moved to,

who are counselors,

people on Boards of Directors who are already working with the homeless,

people who have started organizations that help rescue sex-trafficked girls,

maternity ministries,

CEOs with the same hearts for this kind of ministry,

architects,

builders,

teachers,

camp directors,

musicians,

worship leaders,

preachers,

prayer warriors,

singers,

gardeners,

landscapers,

hunters,

chefs,

janitors,

AND

people who have donated financially (some once, and some a few times) over the past 4 years

EVEN THOUGH

they know we’re not even there yet. (Yes, we’re keeping the list for later tax purposes.)

God has sent people to believe with us, in spirit and in action.

And THAT is the most amazing thing.

For God to send support like that is just reassurance time after time that HE’s got this and HE IS listening and leading and providing.

After all, He IS our Provider, so… I’m not surprised but ALWAYS constantly in awe every single step of the way.

If we’d TRIED to plan all this, things couldn’t have ever gone better.

When you see God giving you the next step and the next, you can’t help but want more!

My question is that if we’d “planned” it all on paper (to get a church or organization to donate) then where does being open to the Holy Spirit daily fit in?

I actually don’t even think that’s how it’s supposed to be done “Biblically.” I think that’s taking a dream God gives and trying to make it fit our way.

Perhaps “planning” how we want it to look isn’t such a perfect way after all.

That “plan” would have changed so many times by now already.

My faith and my hope is NOT in an organization

or in a preacher

or in a committee who may pull funding for whatever reason like

if we’re not fast enough for them,

or if we don’t baptize enough people in their given amount of time,

or for whatever results they want to see on a graph chart or powerpoint.

My hope is in HIM.

And HE is faithful to complete work He started.

SOMEBODY NEEDS YOU.

And God, ALONE, is MORE THAN ENOUGH to lead you to this work He’s prepared in advance for you to do. (You’ll know it when it happens because it’ll include your passion and talents He gave you.)

I can’t tell you it will be easy but it’s very worth it even when others think it’s silly. (And they will. So what? Let them think it’s silly. Perhaps, when they’re ready to surrender to Him, God will move them, too. Your job isn’t to convince them. It’s to follow in faith.)

There are doors that God unlocks through prayer, singing praises to Him, and reading Scripture out loud, that we could never have unlocked ourselves.

God opens doors that NO enemy can shut.

And He closes doors that NO friend can open.

HE IS ABLE.

A few years ago when we told someone about this God-sized dream He’s placed in our hearts, they asked skeptically, “You and whose army?! Who is going to do this work with you?!” I said, “Me and whatever army God calls together.”

Watch Him do it.

Hear This Truth:

Proverbs 3:5-6

TRUST in THE LORD with ALL your heart

and lean NOT on your OWN understanding;

in ALL your ways SUBMIT TO HIM,

AND HE WILL make your paths straight.

Dear Lonely Woman,

Dear Lonely Woman,

I see you.

I have some idea why you’re sorrow runs so deep.

Your sadness and your pain matter.

How you feel about what has happened in your life matters.

What you do and what you think matter too.

The things and people you try to grasp and hold onto are never going to fill that empty longing in your soul.
But I know a Guy who can.

Stop trying to get something from things or people who are NOT EVEN EQUIPPED to give it.
But I know a Guy who is.

You think nobody can possibly know the battles you’ve been faced with.
But I know a Guy who does.

So you can exhale.

Because He KNOWS you

AND

He ADORES you.

Only ONE promises AND can give you the Real fulfillment you’re dying to know.

He wants to spend every day with you.
He will never say you’re too clingy. He says, “Cling to ME!”

He will never say you are not enough to hold his attention. He says, “I laid down My life for you BECAUSE you matter more than anything.”

He will never say, “Go away,” with his words or his actions.
But instead He only says, “Come to ME.”

He wants to get one on One quality time with YOU.

Why do you think the circumstances of your life leave you feeling so lonely?

He is confident that HE is THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN fulfill your most intimate need to be wanted and to be loved.

HE will NEVER leave you.

Talk with Him.

And keep talking.

I’ll help you start.

“Dear God, thank You. Thank you for the emptiness so that I can find You.
You are MORE than enough for me.
Show me my value that is in You alone and please reveal my purpose ONLY You can give me. Please heal me because of what has happened in my life and remind me that my true value is found ONLY in You. Please forgive me for searching in a hundred other places for the True Love that ONLY You are capable of giving me. In Jesus’ Holy Name, I ask _______________…”

Faith And Trust Pry My Fingers Off Control

Where Is Your Hope?

What if God really is who He says He is?

How would today look different if you really believed this?

And what if He really provides how He promises He does…?

…but you just got so off-track listening to what the WORLD says you SHOULD be doing… chase that relationship, buy more stuff, get credit to go into debt to get more credit, fight to hold onto that job when God’s trying to show you something better, go to school for 20 years because someone says that’s just the way it’s done… that you’ve been missing HIS purpose for you?

 

Take delight in THE LORD,
and HE WILL GIVE YOU the desires of your heart. (emphasis added)

Psalm 37:4

 

Simple, right?

Delight in HIM.

He will give you the desires of your heart.

I believe Him. I’ve found this to be true.

 

What do you delight in?

 

He already knows the desires of your heart (and honestly I believe those desires were the things you talked about being and doing when you were little… before the world somehow talked you into believing you COULDN’T.)

Where is your hope?

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the Lord
WILL renew their strength.
They WILL soar on wings like eagles;
they WILL run and not grow weary,
they WILL walk and not be faint. (emphasis added)

It doesn’t say might, or may, or could.

It WILL happen.

Where is your hope?

In your job?

In your degree?

In your bank account?

In your pastor or preacher?

Your friends?

 

God has jobs for each of us to be doing and if we put our hope IN HIM, He WILL make a way where there doesn’t seem to be a way. It’s just something He does. I can’t explain it.

It’s all about Him.

We lost our way.

The enemy set up A LOT of detours for us and we fell for just about all of them listening to the father of lies.

We buy houses, toys, and stuff (WAY too much stuff,) stress over busy schedules we often plan for ourselves (or we allow others to put on us,) worrying about what we’ll have tomorrow so much that we’re missing the “today” He wants for us.

But God’s got this.

Matthew 6:33

But seek FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things (what we’ll eat, drink, and wear) will be given to you as well. (emphasis added)

 

Sometimes even when we DO ask for His direction and He answers, we take it and tell Him, “Thanks, God. I’ve got it from here.”

But we don’t.

He wants constant contact with us all through the day and even at night when we wake up. That whole pray without ceasing thing… He wants to stay connected to us.

I don’t know what your prayer life looks like but would you feel close to someone who talks to you as much or little as you talk with God?

 

HE opens doors for you that your enemies cannot shut and He also shuts doors to redirect you that no friend can open.

 

What if that “distraction” today really isn’t a distraction at all?

What if that is exactly where your attention is needed most?

What if God’s tugging on your heart to start a ministry there?

 

I hear about so many people who are unsatisfied at the end of the day.

It’s because when we’re not living FOR Him then life FEELS empty.

He wants ALL of us.

He even wants our bodies to be a “living sacrifice” for Him.

And that’s not even anything exceptional or special.

He says it’s our “reasonable” service back to Him.

Romans 12:1b

…present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.

You are a soul and God has given you a body to be used FOR Him.

(Please know when I talk about this I’m also talking to myself. I’ve used my body and others did too in ways that were NOT pleasing to God at all.)

If your boss loans you a car to use for business use, but instead you use it for personal use, do you think there may be consequences?

 

Sometimes following Him is fun. And it’s also scary and exciting and terrifying. But it’s always good.

And when God puts a ministry in your heart you don’t have to wonder if He’ll provide support for it.

Who cares if it looks impossible?!

He WILL provide when you keep putting your hope in HIM.

He did not say to put your hope in your friends, or your teacher, or what your preacher thinks, your bank account, or the church’s “Missions Committee,” or your mom.

He said to put your hope in HIM.

He is MORE than enough.

HE has UNLIMITED resources and He knows how to send what we need when we need it.

 

Is that really so hard to believe?

 

It doesn’t really matter what the modern-day Pharisees say either. (In fact, God has work for them to be doing also and I’ve gotta believe it’s something more than critiquing the ministry you feel called to… If they believed as much as they profess they do, then they’d realize He already has a purpose for each of them also. When they have courage to ask Him, and choose to listen to Him, I have no doubt He’ll reveal more to them.)

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Sometimes God plants a ministry in your heart and He spends a long, long, long time teaching us things He will have us use then.

When we rush things, we miss some of His training….

…Sometimes He wants to reach us through those tough conversations with others, or dealing with that guy at the office, or the time you didn’t know how to pay the bills, or when your child was sick, the time you had to move, or when your marriage was falling apart … EVERY moment is another moment to trust more IN HIM.

Staying in prayer asking Him to lead every day opens more opportunity to see Him working and creates a peace that I don’t even know how to explain.

What I’ve learned is that Faith and Trust pry my fingers off of Control.

The days I’m most unsatisfied are the days I’m trying to control too much.

Giving HIM control of MY schedule and MY body changes …well, everything.

The reason I can’t stop talking about this stuff is because if He can do what He has done with me, then I cannot WAIT to hear what He does with you.

 

Matthew 11:28

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

 

 

Dear Christian Husband who is looking at pornography,

Your wife is lonely.  And I don’t just mean physically. She’s emotionally drained.

Your sin and secrecy are sucking the life out of her.

I see her grief and emptiness and while it’s true that Jesus is the only One who can truly fill her heart, if you’re not going to be there to serve her and really share your life with her, then why are you there?

The sin you’re hiding is killing your ability to love your bride like Jesus loves The Church, His bride.

She is worth more than the leftover attention and affection you give her.

Jesus is the only One who can break the chains of addiction that threaten to bury you in this grave forever.

The shame and guilt you carry are very, very heavy and you’re not meant to carry this alone.

When you give your life to Christ in baptism you die to sin just as He died and was raised and you are raised a new man in Him walking in HIS power.

You cannot keep looking at pornography while serving as a husband, (or future husband, or Christian man in any leadership role for that matter.)

God called you to stand taller, be the head of your home, and lead gently, following Him.

Other men are looking to YOU to lead also.

You CAN be free and you can also help free others from this hell on earth.

Jesus already took your sin and nailed it on the Cross.

Stop taking it back.

The stench is overwhelming and everyone smells it. Sin of any kind makes you grouchy and it affects everyone you are in contact with even for a moment.

GIVE THIS TO HIM IN PRAYER.

For the love of your wife, for the salvation of your soul, for the benefit of your children, for the man I know God called you to be, please give this to Him.

You are worth more. The people in the images are worth more. And your wife is worth more.

You can be the man you and I both know God created you to be.

I believe in you.

Sincerely, Brokenhearted For Your Marriage

 

 

–

Dear Christian Wife who is looking at pornography,

Your husband is lonely.  And I don’t just mean physically. He’s emotionally drained.

Your sin and secrecy are sucking the life out of him.

I see his grief and emptiness and while it’s true that Jesus is the only One who can truly fill his heart, if you’re not going to be there to serve him and really share your life with him, then why are you there?

The sin you’re hiding is killing your ability to love your husband like Jesus loves.

He is worth more than the leftover attention and affection you give him.

Jesus is the only One who can break the chains of addiction that threaten to bury you in this grave forever.

The shame and guilt you carry are very, very heavy and you’re not meant to carry this alone.

When you give your life to Christ in baptism you die to sin just as He died and was raised and you are raised a new woman in Him walking in HIS power.

You cannot keep looking at pornography while serving as a wife, (or future wife, or Christian woman in any leadership role for that matter.)

God called you to stand taller, be the heart of your home, bravely, following Him.

Other women are looking to YOU to lead also.

You CAN be free and you can also help free others from this hell on earth.

Jesus already took your sin and nailed it on the Cross.

Stop taking it back.

The stench is overwhelming and everyone smells it. Sin of any kind makes you grouchy and it affects everyone you are in contact with even for a moment.

GIVE THIS TO HIM IN PRAYER.

For the love of your husband, for the salvation of your soul, for the benefit of your children, for the woman I know God called you to be, please give this to Him.

You are worth more. The people in the images are worth more. And your husband is worth more.

You can be the woman you and I both know God created you to be.

I believe in you.

Sincerely, Brokenhearted For Your Marriage

 

Wake up! God has important plans for you.

It’s like we’re in a world-wide game of freeze tag and the devil is “it” and keeps freezing people in time, using anything and anyone he can, keeping us stuck in yesterday, or focused on tomorrow, wasting today.

We got busy with so much stuff the world says is important.

We’re numb and unforgiving and offended because of everything and nothing.

 

People forgot who God is.

We spend too many days high on other stuff besides Him.

And we’ve been missing His will for us today, right now.

 

What if you are created to be one of the UNfreezers?

We can be people God uses to go around and help wake up other sleep-walking zombies to live the life He planned for them.

MUCH to the devil’s surprise, the moment we’re unfrozen, God can ignite us on fire for HIS purpose!

 

Wake up, Beautiful You. Please wake up.

God has important plans for you.

He wrote specific purpose into your future even while you were still in your mother’s womb.

ASK HIM what that looks like in your life.

It is SO time for you to wake up!

Can you hear God? He’s saying, “Stop complaining and just trust Me.”

It’s been one year since the road broke under the tires of our RV and our family became homeless for a month after a towing company totaled our camper.

 

Somewhere in the middle of my prayers last year in August I felt we were to go to Bellingham for a while and not to go through Canada   …but we were trying to head through anyway (3 times, you know, because… I don’t even know why…)

(Ever feel called to do something but don’t do it? I’ve read these kinda stories in The Bible and have heard a few in my lifetime, too.)

I didn’t understand why I felt we were supposed to go to Bellingham at that time (and there are probably a hundred more reasons we won’t even understand til Heaven) but we can see many wonderful and interesting things God’s been teaching our family over the past year.

I love this lesson because even when we are heading the wrong way God can always redirect us – and He does this amazing work where He makes something good come out of something that we don’t think is good.

(I mean, get this. We were going the way I didn’t believe we were to go and the road literally broke under the tires. How’s THAT for an answer to prayers asking Him to lead?!)

We have learned so much through experiencing homelessness for ourselves that we could never have learned in any other classroom.

We can see that God took care of us even through homelessness and now we can better serve some other people who also know this kind of life but who don’t want to stay there.

 

God is the greatest Teacher and when we commit our lives to Him He will teach us what He knows we need to learn to fulfill His purpose for us.

People are constantly trying to test the limits of these physical bodies God gave us – but when God tests our faith or we have to grow spiritually, so many times it’s Whine Time.

If a soldier in training for any other battle whined like we do about this, we’d probably lose a little respect.

Like it or not, we are each a soldier in training.
 
I have learned this. Since we felt called and shared this with several people over the past three years, we’ve met many others who also feel called to move, too, and some, also to Alaska like we do.

Think God is up to something?

Perhaps… He’s working on a little something called The Great Commission?
 
He knows what He’s doing. And no powers of hell can stop Him.
 
Mark 16:15-16 The Great Commission –  And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach The Gospel to every creature.  He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.

 

A few weeks ago we told a girl we met that ever since we’ve shared that we feel called, several Christians have told us that God doesn’t lead people anymore.

She gave the best answer we’ve heard, “When did He stop?”

 

Prayer unlocks doors that nothing else in this world can unlock.

 

When we stop fussing about changes that happen and just ask God to reveal why and lead us through each thing, He does it.

He’s not in a hurry like we are most of the time. This is a lifelong obstacle course and each experience we live through has important stuff to teach us.

People spend billions of dollars on obstacle courses and creating manmade adventure in this world but God already wrote it into our being. When we open our eyes, hearts, ears, and focus on Him leading through prayer, we find adventure and clues all over the place.

I wonder if God’s sometimes thinking, “Don’t you understand I’m training you for your purpose? Stop complaining so much and start trusting Me!”

 

 

#Faith

#Purpose

#Serve

#Homeless

#itisallaboutfaithblog

Read more about our walk in faith to move from Texas to Alaska to open a homeless teen place here.

You may be the only representation of Christ someone sees all day

When people are lost, they’re usually not very cheerful.

When we’re hungry, we can be grouchy.

People who don’t know Jesus yet are lost AND hungry

–only they may not even realize it.

 

When we see someone who is physically lost, we don’t need to say the words, “Hey, you are lost.”

(They already probably noticed that. aaand… it wouldn’t help the situation much either.)

Probably it’s not the best way to help someone who doesn’t know Jesus yet, either (of course, it actually may work well in some situations.)

 

When I’m hungry, I don’t need someone to tell me, “You’re hungry.”

I can already FEEL it.

 

Some people are STARVING –but they don’t know WHY they’re so hungry.

People try to fill this void with stuff the world offers.

But it won’t work.

Ever.

 

On the inside they may feel empty, used, frustrated, or grouchy

–and on the outside — IT SHOWS.

(OH, how it shows!)

 

Why show kindness to people who are being mean?

— You may be the only representation of Christ that someone sees all day. —

 

Sometimes when somebody is physically (or spiritually) lost and you show him the right road, he may be grateful.

But sometimes, he’s embarrassed that he didn’t figure it out by himself and that embarrassment shows on the outside.

Be kind anyway.

 

If it’s a Christian who is being mean, maybe there is sin that has caused some infection and when we’re dealing with an infection, we don’t feel well all over. (The Holy Spirit helps heal this.)

(…Quite possibly, it’s sin of unforgiveness, whether toward another person or self.)

Everybody understands that a wound needs to be cleaned out well, even though it hurts, so that it can heal properly.

(The same is to be said with emotional wounds.

No wonder there are so many grouchy people in the world.

They -whether Christians or not- may be carrying around hazardous material inside their heart and head.

We’re not supposed to carry that stuff.

And it’s heavy.)

 

We can be kind on purpose, and remember that everybody falls down sometimes.

Also, the enemy is pretty skilled at shooting poisonous darts of confusion into an otherwise peaceful day.

Sometimes the enemy we’re fighting is not the person standing in front of us.

And it’s no wonder. It’s not even a physical fight we’re fighting most of the time -but sometimes it’s hard to see it.

 

You want to make this a fight of flesh and blood. But it’s not. It’s spiritual with the powers of darkness. THE ENEMY IS AFRAID OF what YOU can truly become. (from the movie King’s Faith)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

 

 

The cool thing is that this being kind thing doesn’t even have to happen with your own power; but God is right there, just a breath away, with Power we can’t even comprehend and HE will stand us back up. HE gives us the grace to show other people love even when we don’t know how or don’t feel like it.

When I am weak, HE is strong.

 

^{2 Corinthians 12:9b-10}  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Matthew 5:6

 

 

Dear Mean People, Jesus loves you! Just sayin’… It’s not fun to be around you. But we (I – and other people who notice you’re grouchy) want you to know Jesus loves you because when you really know this, you won’t be able to stay mean. Then you will be much more fun to be around. Love, Somebody who cares about you.

 

(I can’t leave this without saying that prayer is where I find The Best Help.)

We don’t worship a Golden Calf because that would be silly.

Instead

We worship status and careers and college degrees and perfect grammar and exercise and shopping and sex and sports teams.

We worship political correctness and politeness.

We worship the art of being offended and even will be offended for someone else who finds something offensive.

We worship sharing our views and opinions on everything but refuse to listen to the way other people think.

We worship test scores (even way more than education.)

We worship technology and hobbies and schedules and money.

We worship stuff and spend millions of dollars collecting and guarding our (earthly) treasures.

We worship credit and making our houses as comfortable and perfect for us as possible.

We worship ourselves in a billion selfie pictures! Me. Me. Me! Look at me!

We worship youth and plastic surgery.

We worship “how is used to be” and “can’t wait for tomorrow” wasting today.

We worship image and doing good, Christian-looking things instead of truly living as Jesus followers.

We worship “worship” arguing with each other how a church service should look.

 

We worship pretending that everything is okay when inside we’re falling apart.

 

I wonder if we pretend so much because we worship pretenders.

We worship actors who pretend to be someone they are not and then we worship criticizing them or making fun of them when we don’t like the way they played a role.

We treat actors like Court Jesters. “Make me laugh, funny man!”

We worship collecting every movie, memorize the lines, and plaster their pictures all over our walls, but aren’t there for them when they need someone to care.

[THEN we hold candlelight services for suicides. (That’s too late.)]

Instead of acting like lunatic fans what if we treated actors like people instead of gods? “How are you, really? I just wanted you to know somebody cares.”

We worship musicians and get mad when bands break up as if they are ours to control …but what if God has another plan for their lives? We don’t even know the details but we’re unkind about them when they begin to pursue another career.

 

We worship video games and grown up toys and brand names.

And WHAT amazing marketing! Have you ever thought about this?

Companies have somehow tricked people into paying MORE for their brands AND bragging about paying more (Huh?!) People worship by advertising FOR them for FREE by wearing their logos, and even worship arguing with other people to the point of divorcing friendships simply because someone likes pears instead of doors or this instead of that.

[We look like a bunch of characters in that Dr. Seuss’s Stars Upon Thars story!]

We worship magazines that tell people what to wear, when to wear it, what is sexy, what is out, and what is in (whatever THAT means.) What nonsense! And people are actually mean to each other because of it.

I know I’m not the only one who realizes this is so messed up.

We worship debate, cut-downs, and scripted “reality” shows.

We act like gods who can vote someone in or out of Heaven.

 

And also, we worship sarcasm.

But at least we don’t worship a Golden Calf like the Bible talks about because THAT would be silly.

 

 

You shall have no other gods before Me.  Exodus 20:3

 

 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”  Matthew 22:37-40

 

 

If God planted a ministry in your heart…

God can move the mountains that are in the way.

There are so many ministries that God planted in people – but that haven’t begun – because we (members of church) put our faith for financing, encouragement, prayers, and other support in leaders of a church.

Please read that again.

If God has laid a ministry on your heart and you don’t find the leaders of a certain congregation to be in prayer with you, encouraging your God-given talents, believing with you that God is calling you and that He calls each of us in His timing to do work He’s prepared in advance for each of us to do,

I pray you prayerfully consider that it’s (probably way past) time to look  UP  instead of looking for support all around.

 

Sometimes leaders of a church or organization will not share (and I cannot understand why) the dream God’s given you with the rest of the congregation and a reason I think this is sad is because God only knows who else shares your passion but since the elders, preachers, pastors, teachers, deacons, or select committees won’t share what you’re feeling God doing in you with the rest of the church, others with the same message on their hearts are not even aware of the ministry God’s growing inside your spirit.

 Please don’t let that steal your joy or your faith. You know the opposition wants to kill ministries before they’re even born. What a horrible trick to use churches to extinguish God-ignited passion! We’ve all been tricked.

(Maybe your hope has been in the wrong place.) Stay in prayer.

If God has given you the dream of a ministry, you KNOW that He is MORE than capable to provide everything that is needed to carry that job out; including bringing you to the very contacts He knows you need, providing the money you need, and the land, buildings, and supplies. HE is The God of the impossible and all HIS resources are overflowing! You can have a body of believers praying for you from all over the world!

You can trust God to lead and provide better than anyone else.

Trust HIS timing even when (you or) others seem to think something is not happening fast enough. Trust Him to align your steps, asking Him to guide you every day.

If church leaders tell you that the money is already budgeted for the next year – or ten years… maybe their faith isn’t what it needs to be. It’s possible that the leaders’ lack of faith that God will provide for ANY ministry He plants in someone is something He will make them aware of eventually. Maybe right now they aren’t able to see beyond what they can see. (It is also possible that God is not using a certain group to provide financial support  – but even if they truly believe the money donated at that location is to be used in other ways, the leaders can STILL provide much support including sharing what the ministry is about and actively praying with you and for you.)

Sometimes everyone seems to struggle with having little faith. (God’s been reminding me to be kind about this always no matter who I’m talking with because some days the struggle of little faith is within me.)

God works with us all at different times and in different ways.

 

If God is calling you to begin a certain ministry, keep trusting God, asking Him for confirmation, provision, wisdom, and guidance.

Maybe God wants you looking to HIM for support that ONLY HE can give.

It’s just a thought – and it’s one He’s brought me to after seeking, asking, and knocking for answers.

This letter is to encourage you to look beyond what you can see (and who you can see) and to keep praying for God to lead in ways and open doors that ONLY He can open anyway.

Your friends cannot open doors God has closed and your enemies cannot close doors that God opens for you.

You can know that I’m already praying about the ministry He’s planted in your heart (maybe it was planted a long, long time ago) and it will be exciting to hear what He does in your life! It’s not too late.

It doesn’t have to be a leap of faith. A tiny, baby step of faith is a great beginning.

 

Trust in The LORD with ALL your heart and lean NOT on your OWN understanding; in ALL your ways submit to HIM, and He WILL make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

 

It’s hard to stay OUT of anyone else’s bed.

Marriage should be honored by ALL, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4

Movies, TV, magazines, advertisements, and the internet make it hard to stay OUT of anyone else’s bed.

 

If marriage and the marriage bed are to be honored by ALL and kept pure, then maybe we need to alert all the media because I don’t think they know.

Or if they know, I don’t think they care.

 

But I care.

 

If it’s not MY marriage bed, I do not belong in it, watching it, or participating via the internet.

If it’s not MY husband and if it’s not MY bed, then it’s not MY marriage bed. Am I wrong?

 

The more I pray about this the more God moves my heart to say something and to do something.

I get that we like entertainment. But we can enjoy clean entertainment. God says marriage is to be honored by ALL and the marriage bed be kept pure. The movie and TV show producers and pornography films have included scenes that don’t even leave anything to the imagination.

And the scenes that DO leave something up to our imaginations, they still have hints and that’s not even something we are to be part of.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Ephesians 5:3

There’s usually WAY more than a hint.

And we cannot UNsee what we see (even for a second of time.)

Some people argue that it’s okay to watch married people together because they’re married.

But, still, that’s not YOUR marriage bed so it’s not FOR you, is it?

 

Imagine for a moment being Adam seeing Eve for the first time.

Imagine being Eve seeing Adam for the first time.

 

Can you imagine Adam seeing Eve and never having seen pornography, or advertisements selling with sex, or movies even with images of other women that pulled his mind away from her?

Can you imagine how beautiful she must have felt to him? She hadn’t ever thought to compare her body to another woman’s body. There was no competition for his attention or affection. ALL his desire was for HER! ALL her desire was for him!

 

Whatever the world has taught you about comparing yourself or comparing someone else, the world is wrong.

 

You are worth more.

 

And the people in the pictures and videos are worth more, too.

 

Purity is beautiful. Purity doesn’t even necessarily mean that before now, life has been perfect, but from now ON, we CAN look away and choose not to be part of someone else’s bed. We can choose not to see a movie or watch a show. We can even write to companies to tell them it’s not stuff we want to see.

 

I get that it’s unpopular to talk about this stuff. It’s just something God’s been stirring in my heart. I don’t pretend to have all the answers or solutions but I can be a little part of some kind of difference because my life probably would have looked different if I’d heard this and maybe it can help someone else today.

Hello in there. You are missed!

Whatever happened to bury you this deep, I’m really sorry.

Life’s blows with the enemy’s help have treated you unfairly and you put up a wall.

Then you added another.

Then another.

Until you built a VERY impressive battleground.

 

If people come near you (I mean the real you) they may -or may not- step on a landmine.

But that’s up to YOU whether it’s a landmine or you just give them a shove to knock them down for a minute (or if you want to shut them up for longer, that’s still your choice.)

YOU get to have that control.

And nobody can take that control from you!

You feel safe there.

And the truth is… NOBODY can make you come out.

NOBODY can break into THIS kind of castle!

 

But… the world isn’t the same with you locked away in this castle façade of a prison.

The enemy surely knew what he was doing when he isolated you.

I mean, he even made you think it was a castle.

Didn’t he?

If he made you believe it was a prison you were actually building, would you have kept working on it?

He recognized that you are a threat to him so he took his (your) time, keeping you busy with it for a quite a while starting from a young age.

However it started, it was pretty upsetting!

Maybe it started with bullying from other kids.  Maybe the beginning was that someone sexually molested you. Maybe it started with someone you trusted with all your heart. Maybe the very first memory of the pain was because of your own parents; the ones God assigned to you didn’t do their jobs how He’d rather they do. Oh and that boss! And that job! And THAT co-worker… And don’t forget that teacher! My wife! My husband! Don’t get me started about the time…

 

I know it probably took more than one thing to build such a massive, impenetrable, solid place.

And it probably took years to get it just right so that you never have to show anyone your tender heart exposed underneath it all. NOBODY can make you forgive!

You don’t even have to give out genuine, kind WORDS.

Those you get to have control over, too.

Muah Ha Ha!! Nobody can have your words! Nobody!

Because they may hurt you.

You’re probably right.

They may. They are human, too.

And when you feel lonely, just to keep people close (but not TOO close… but you don’t really want them to leave… but of course you don’t want them to know that…) you can just throw a few kind words out behind you as you run out the door. I mean, you can’t actually FACE them AND tell them the way you really love them and hope they never leave you, can you? (You know, in case they use them against you.)

Your words are yours, alone, to do with whatever YOU choose.

 

 

Whatever it was, I will admit that the craftsmanship of this fort is to be admired. I’ll give you that.

You’ve got that heart locked up tight and whenever people get too close, you sabotage it somehow (even subconsciously) so they can’t get in.

You designed layer upon layer of what seems like protection but through clear eyes – or clear sinuses – it’s actually moldy, crusty, years of caked on STENCH.

And the only one who can’t smell it…. is……… you.

It affects everyone around you.

Don’t worry if people know not to mess with you. They DO. People who need your support, love, or kindness, have suffered. THAT’S for sure! Part of the problem is that you can’t actually hear what other people are really saying to you even when they’re praising you because the walls are so thick that their words are muffled.

 

Of course you didn’t do this on PURPOSE.

THAT would be kinda… silly.

By now…. it’s just….. what you do.

 

It’s how you do life.

(If you can call this living, really.)

 

I don’t blame you for this.

You have your reasons.

 

 

But – I think the enemy has stolen enough of your time.

 

Don’t you think so?

 

Isn’t it heavy to keep carrying all that?

Your shoulders have GOT to be exhausted because of all that stuff weighing you down.

You kinda walk differently now. God designed you with joy in your step but the enemy stole that joy.

I sure would like to see your new walk. It will be a beautiful thing. And it’s going to feel great!

God’s been patiently waiting for you to give these VERY heavy burdens and broken pieces to Him for a while now.

But He’s not going to rush you.

That’s not His style.

He realizes there is some real pain that sent you into this place.

 

But —- the important jobs God wrote into your very being that ONLY YOU CAN DO aren’t getting done.

He’s surely going to be excited that you’ll begin asking Him what that looks like now. This, I know.

What if… you ask HIM to help break down that amazing fortress you’ve spent precious moments perfecting… and HE helps you build a different kind around you?

Like, what if it wasn’t a dangerous place for others OR for you?

What IF?

What if you ask Him to help you build a safe house with angels to surround you?

What if that safe house was built with grace and mercy instead of explosives and stone walls?

After all, He’s pretty big and He loves you more than ANYone else possibly ever could.

What if HE helps you?

It doesn’t even have to be a leap of faith.

It can be a tiny, baby step of faith that He is who He says He is; your Provider, your Comforter, your HEALER, and your Savior.

HE is safe.

Break it down!

Your most powerful weapon; forgiveness!

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

You are so missed!

 

 

Dear To-Do List, I am breaking up with you.

It’s not that it hasn’t been interesting and I know we got a lot done together.

But you are in the way. You are not really my friend.

You tell me what to do every day and when I don’t get it all done, you beat me up at the end of the day telling me that I didn’t do everything I needed to do.

But who are you to tell me what I need to get done today?

I’ve had enough.

It’s probably not even your fault.

It’s mine for believing you and I are the ones who can do the most good with my time.

But God has only given me a certain amount of time and I cannot get any more of it.

So you have to go.

God knitted into me my purpose and you have distracted me and stolen too much.

Until I started asking Him to take my to-do list and show me what HE wants for my days, you were my idol.

Enough.

You are not my god.

I’m not going to worship you anymore.

God is my God and I haven’t been putting Him first most of my life and asking Him what HE wants me to do each day.

See? He says The Holy Spirit is here to guide me and I believe Him.

The days I ask HIM to lead me are the MOST satisfying days in every way (even though usually I didn’t do what you told me to do or even what what I thought I needed to get done.)

The most UNsatisfying days are the ones where I try to do stuff MY WAY and in MY TIMING.

It’s funny. I have found that usually the thing I can’t get out of my mind is the very thing I actually need to be focusing on, but most of the time until now I’ve pushed that stuff out of the way to stay on schedule – for you.

What God has shown me is that I don’t have to try to figure out how the days are going to look.

My friends cannot open doors He’s shut.

And my enemies cannot shut doors He’s opened for me.

I know. You probably don’t think I’m perfect enough for God.

You wonder if He even wants me.

He does.

And the truth is I don’t have to be perfect.

My God is not looking for perfection. He is looking for people willing to give Him their time – giving their lives as a living sacrifice for what HE wants and not just doing what we want or what other people tell us we have to do.

It’s okay if you forget or throw this letter in the trash.

Because if I forget, then tomorrow, I will wake up and break up with you all over again.

Sincerely, Me

 

People keep saying God doesn’t lead today.

Maybe the reason so many people say God doesn’t lead them today is because people keep saying, “He can’t.”

Think about it.

If someone kept saying (or believing) that He doesn’t or won’t or can’t do something today in 2016, then why would He?

He has nothing to prove to anyone.

God says

 My sheep hear My Voice, and I know them, and they follow Me:  – John 10:27

My prayer is that God moves in people’s lives so big that they cannot help but see Him work in their lives (and then share it.)

I get it.

I was 40 something before I ever “felt called” by God to do something. I remember vaguely what life was like before that but life is WAY more satisfying after finally beginning to walk in faith.

The truth is that I have heard about Jesus my whole life but I never realized I wasn’t giving Him my time (which is something I believe He wants from everyone.)

My time was my god and God wants NO OTHER gods before Him.

You know how I know this?

Because He says

You shall have no other gods before Me. – Exodus 20:3

I mostly lived every day -for years- without a thought or prayer asking God what He may want me to do with the time He gifted to me.

 

It’s funny when you tell people you feel God tugging on your heart to do something.

Many will probably tell you it’s not true or it can’t be done.

The thing I can’t figure out is…

Do Christians really not believe God -The Creator of everything- is big enough to put a dream in someone’s heart?

Or is it that He just wouldn’t choose a certain person to give a God-sized dream to?

WE (humans) mostly decide stuff by how someone looks or their credentials or status or bank account or whatever. (By the way, I can’t find it in The Bible where God is actually impressed by all that.)

Something I do read about God says this:

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

 

Over the past couple years I’ve learned that when you share that you feel called by God to do something, lots of people are quick to tell you how wrong you’re doing it.

Or they’ll tell you how they would do it.

Or they’ll even be upset that you’re not doing it how they SEE you should be doing it.

Some people tell us “THIS is how it works” and continue on to tell us how they would be doing it. “Do this thing. Then this. Then this. And there you go. That’s gotta work.”

Okay.

Thank you. (Sincerely.)

But

Then

Where is faith in that?

Where does faith come in?

How would faith work into this if I try to accomplish this on my own?

God says

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. – John 15:5

 

I’ve heard of people who kick the doors down and don’t wait for God to open them and I’m CERTAIN I do NOT want to do it that way though I’ve tried my way and my timing for many other things in the past. (And it didn’t work out well then, either.)

It’s no secret that I feel April 1^st is a very important date and I had felt like God may be moving us April 1, 2014, but maybe the April 1^st thing is truly God letting me know He’s calling us to live out our faith even when it looks foolish to others. And we’ll keep on doing it as long as He keeps opening doors and leading us to do this work.

Someone came to tell me (a couple years ago) that I didn’t know what I was talking about and that “God doesn’t work that way anymore.”

But

Hebrews 13:8 says

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

I’m glad that happened (though I wasn’t at the moment) because I realized something important. God didn’t put a year on my heart.

There are a lot of Aprils in the world.

There’s an April every year.

And we can look back more than 15 years ago to see how God was already doing this work in us. (We just didn’t know how or when or where or that it was for homeless people at that time. We did know it was a church camp kinda place and it was for teenagers.)

What I do know is that after God put it on my heart and began opening doors to this move to Alaska to open a homeless teen place, I was pacing, excitedly, back and forth one day in our house in Texas, “God, Okay. Got it! Alaska Homeless Teen Center! Now how can I make this happen? HOW do I do this?”

That’s the day He put it on my heart that HE is the ONE DOING this and our family is just to be obedient to what we feel He’s calling us to do.

Whew! Okay. That sounds a lot easier than me trying to figure all this out!

God says

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. – James 1:27

So if God tells us to help orphans and we feel He’s literally calling us to go do that, don’t you think He’s big enough to provide the way?

People tell us to use our best logic. (Logic is not found in The Bible, by the way. I checked recently.)

But God says

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your OWN understanding; in ALL your ways submit to Him, and HE WILL make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3:5-6

So we’re going to choose to believe Him.

God is The Author of time and if He’s put a dream in your heart, He will be faithful to complete it. He knows what we need to do the work and He is not limited to a budget of people or supplies or money. (Thankfully!)

People may begin to tell you that it’s not possible or other silly things. (The truth is that if we were ALL doing what God is calling us to do then there wouldn’t be time left for people to critique what He’s calling YOU to do.)

 

We don’t have to grow up, get a degree, have a billion in savings, gather a committee, find supporters, or anything like that. If we follow Him, He’s got the rest.

Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I WILL MAKE YOU fishers of men.” – Matthew 4:19

 

When you share a dream He’s given you, it may really take you by surprise who is not supportive.

God may ALSO surprise you by giving you peace and confirming that support will come from where HE wants it to come from (and that’s pretty cool.)

All I can figure about that is that He will provide how HE wants to provide. (Perhaps He’s not wanting a certain person’s name or church’s name on it “so that none can boast.”)

Pray for peace confirmation when someone is not supportive. He’s got this. And He’s bigger than people realize.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:8-9

People may tell you that you’re not doing it fast enough. (For who? For them?)

So many people want everything faster in 2016.

But what about waiting on The Lord?

Waiting on God in 2016 looks… well, foolish. (April 1st kinda foolish, maybe.)

Some people tell us our family is not doing enough because we’re waiting on Him. Some people think we should be doing MORE as we wait on Him. More what? Planning my way? Saving my way? I couldn’t make this happen His way if I’d known about it my whole life.

Waiting on God is a form of worship in itself.

(God says you’ll be persecuted for your faith so I’m not surprised to be persecuted. It was just a little surprising that it comes mostly from other Christians.)

But

We’re doing what we feel we’re supposed to be doing as we wait on Him, which actually is enough.

We’re not going back and we’re not giving up as long as He keeps opening doors and leading us to this work.

We’re asking, seeking, and knocking, and He WILL open doors in His timing and in His ways.

I can’t find it in The Bible that we’re to figure it out on our own and gather the resources on our own.

Besides, if we did this ourselves, then how would that be giving glory to Him? How would that show His Power and not mine?

“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. – Luke 11:9-10

He’s got this.

 

[More about this Alaska homeless teen place here.  Prayers are always welcome here.]

 

To the person who keeps searching for love, YOU MATTER.

Warning: Not a pretty story. MANY ministries are not created out of pretty stories. God takes the ashes and MAKES something beautiful from them.

 

I am writing this for you, Very Important Person, because you don’t yet know your worth. You are worth SO MUCH MORE than you can imagine.

I think I always knew one day I’d be moved to write this.

This is that day.

–

I recently heard someone in church mention a girl he knew from childhood who many called Slut.

Immediately I hurt for her, “She’s broken.”

My heart sank hearing grown up people quietly snicker at this mention of a girl who was trapped in this kind of prison.

DON’T THEY KNOW she was held captive there?

DIDN’T THEY KNOW that laughing about her is part of the problem?

DON’T THEY KNOW their gossip etches their own names on the links in the chains that keep her locked up?

I know this prison.

I lived there.

–

I remember when I was a little girl and I loved life. I climbed way up in the apple trees in my front yard and ate apples right off the trees.

Honeysuckle grew on a nearby fence. I loved that!

I liked playing, and school, and family, and life was fun.

–

Then it wasn’t.

When I was nine years old I was sexually molested by someone.

I will write more as God leads me to write. This is its own story and would take too many words for today.

This happened from age 9 to age 15.

–

At age 15 I was raped at church camp.

I didn’t DARE tell ANYbody for years!

After all, I had snuck out to meet this boy at night (but I had NO intentions of more than kissing.)

And I liked him and I thought he liked me and the thought that he wanted to talk to me and maybe kiss a while made my heart beat a little quicker!

Little did I know that this was part of satan’s plan to take me down.

I did not understand at the time that the enemy was afraid of what I could become in Jesus Christ and I did not understand yet that God’s plan of redemption would use this part of my story years later for His Glory.

I did not tell.

I did not even cry.

Who would care about me?

Who would believe me anyway?

Why did I even think he’d want to meet me to talk a while? Silly girl.

–

Scarlet A? The letter A may as well have been tattooed all over my body.

–

When I was 15 a boy older than I was invited me to his house for lunch.

Only …his intentions were NOT to have lunch at all.

Also when I was 15 the town pedophile (or rather, one of them) found me.

I must have had a magnet or target or something.

With the enemy searching for someone to devour, it is very likely truth that there was some kind of invisible target on me for me to have found all the trouble I did

or, rather,

for it to have found me.

–

Then…

Someone at school told me that my name was written on the boys’ bathroom wall.

I was 16.

The shock and shame that came with this discovery was something that I did not know how to process.

I guess I could have looked at the bright side; that it said I was GOOD at something. At least the writing was positive in SOME way.

The affection and acceptance I was desperately searching for had me tangled in depravity of sin for years because the enemy’s OH, SO carefully crafted trick to strip my belief that I was ANYthing worthwhile was working.

That enemy is clever.

 

I kept searching for “love.”

Boys were generous to offer lots of “comfort.”

After all,

the world, tv and movies, commercials, books, and most of life taught me that it wasn’t really a big deal to kiss or fool around before marriage as long as you don’t have “sex” sex.

Right?

The world is WRONG.

Keeping the marriage bed pure means EVEN BEFORE marriage to keep the marriage bed pure. I cannot IMAGINE what a blessing I would have received if I’d saved all my kisses and all my desire for my husband. And if someone stole something or if we mess up that does NOT mean to KEEP messing up.

 

OH, if I’d only known my value!

But I did not.

I was the butt of satan’s cruel joke.

And people laughed.

 

A friend told me about my name on the boys’ bathroom wall.

Jeff Fisher was my hero that day and I will always remember.

He did what nobody else would do.

He opened the bathroom door

And he let me witness as he ERASED MY NAME off that wall.

 

In that moment

even though he wasn’t aware of how my life had headed this way,

and of course neither of us could know what would happen in the years to come,

he showed me I was worth something.

 

In THAT moment

And

ONLY

for

a

moment

I

believed

I

could

be

worth

something.

–

 

Years after that I was raped 3 more times while attending a Christian college. (Quick note: Christian colleges are great! People are the people no matter where we go. Jesus is perfect. People are not.)

 

That Last Time.

One boy I’d been out with before called me and asked if I’d like to go see a movie.

I smiled! Aww! That’s so sweet.

“Sure! I’d love to go see a movie.”

He likes me?! I’m so excited!

 

The thing is…

he had NO intention of ever taking me to a movie.

 

As he raped me in his car,

I didn’t scream.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t say anything.

Rivers of tears silently poured down my cheeks.

And I believed

Finally

Without a doubt

That I was

absolutely nothing.

 

I clearly remember lying there in that moment thinking through these words.

 

“This… is all I’m good for?”

.

“…Oh…”

.

“…Okay.”

.

I breathed out as the tears kept falling.

.

“I’m …Nothing.”

 

Definition of nothing

1. Not anything : no thing
2. Someone or something of no interest, value, or importance
3. Me

 

 

I’m certain that if anyone could see that moment in time, they would witness satan dancing on my broken spirit, certain that he’d won, and confident in the belief that his work to bury me forever was complete.

But God says,

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Matthew 5:3

 

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. John 10:10a

But that old devil forgot the next part of this verse!

I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10b

My God is bigger.

My God is stronger.

My God picked me up and gave me a firm place to stand.

He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit,out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, Psalm 40:1b-3a

 

Just over 2 years ago God gave me the gift of my confidence back.

I did not even know it was missing.

But the very moment He gave it back I realized it had been stolen with my innocence when I was a little girl of 9 years old.

I did not know to pray for it to be restored because I did not know it had been missing.

I didn’t even know a person could live without something like that.

God restores what has been stolen.

 

I didn’t know I mattered.

And now, I know the truth.

I don’t have to search anymore for affection or acceptance here in this broken world.

(And neither do YOU.)

My GOD IS ENOUGH.

 

And THAT’S why I’m here.

That’s why I’m online.

That’s why you’re reading this.

It’s my purpose.

I will spend the rest of my life telling people they matter.

 

 

When satan tries to tell you that you’re nothing…

Remember that Jesus did not defeat death for Nothing!

Jesus defeated death for YOU and YOU are VERY SOMETHING.

 

Think about it this way.

If you didn’t matter so much, WHY would the enemy work so hard to try to keep you down?

 

–

My life’s verse

Genesis 50:20

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

–

My whole purpose in life breaks down into two words.

You matter.

All the years searching in a thousand ways to find what ONLY God can provide for me has brought me to these two words.

You matter.

ONLY God can fulfil the emptiness in our broken hearts.

ONLY God can give love like we all desperately crave.

How ever I finally learned this and if my life’s story even only helps ONE person begin to heal and to realize his or her worth, it was worth it to help set another free (even when others don’t get it or laugh.)

For YOU, it’s worth it.

Because you matter.

 

[Of course there are a hundred other moments that taught me I was nothing and I didn’t mention them all here. That would take WAY too many words.

Each one alone may not have been so devastating.

But all together,

They buried me for about 35 years.

While you may THINK whatever you say or do in a moment won’t hurt someone…

I am living proof that all the moments add up and it IS VERY MUCH a big deal. It was enough to keep me hidden for years. And that’s what the enemy wants; to shut us up.

YOU may not realize it but YOU may be the ONLY person who speaks life into someone all year.

YOUR WORDS MATTER.

GOD SPOKE and created everything. (He could have done this any way He wanted to but He spoke and things happened. That is pretty interesting.)

Your words have power to tear down or to heal.

You can either be part of the problem and keep someone locked in the chains or you can help heal and tell her she matters.

Can’t tell her in person for whatever reason?

That’s okay. Pray for her. GOD is ultimately The One she needs the most anyway; not you (or me) and not boys. Pray for God to reveal His purpose for her and His love for her.

This broken world could use a whole lot more praying and praises

And a WHOLE lot less gossip.]

 

 

[Parent Note:

If you’re not talking with your kids, age appropriately and as-a-matter-of-fact-ly and without sounding embarrassed (much like you’re teaching them how to cook or how to do math or read) SOMEONE ELSE WILL. And they may not teach the beautiful truth about how God made sex to be very good.

Let them know it’s okay to ask questions about ANYTHING.

PLEASE be a safe place for healthy answers with no sarcasm.

Please?]

 

 

[Note to people who say pornography is okay:

Lots of people don’t know their value.

If you’re viewing pornography then you clearly do not value people in the pictures as God intended.

And very likely you do not know your own worth, either.

The world has made it a profession to take what God made to be good and mess it up and then pass it off as no big deal to anyone who will buy into the lies.

The world has taken sex which God made to be beautiful and VERY good and twisted it and corrupted it into pornography.

And pornography has NO place in anyone’s world.

Ever.

NOTHING you can say will change my mind.

Pornography is NOT love.

Pornography is slavery.

From the “actors” to the producers to the consumers, PORNOGRAPHY is a VERY REAL HELL on Earth and EVERY view supports this prison, whether in print, video, or any other way.

Be careful, little eyes, what you see, for The Father up above is looking down IN LOVE.

TALK to HIM. He’s listening and He breaks chains that keep us from really living.

OH how God LOVES YOU!]

 

 

[Note to Dads:

OH, DADS!

PLEASE hear me.

What you say matters SO much.

What you DON’T say matters SO much.

If you are not giving your daughter healthy, good kind of love that God intended for a father to bless a daughter with, there are LOTS OF BOYS who are GLAD to offer her anything in the name of affection.

If she already knows her worth in God and with you, Dad, she won’t have any need to accept this from the boys.]

 

[Note:

-I wrote this from my life’s view. I do know that guys are molested and raped also and I pray God gives them courage to speak out and to heal also.

-Some people told me that I SHOULD hate sex now because of what has happened in my life. What kind of messed up thinking is THAT?!  WHY in the world would I want to give the enemy ANY more moments of my time by hating something that God designed to be VERY good? Sex is fun and wonderful when experienced the way God designed it.

-I also know some families do not include Dad for many different reasons. While that is unfortunate in my opinion, there are many father figures who are God-fearing, God-loving men who (may not ever fill Dad’s shoes but) can help heal a girl’s heart.

-And I also know that some dads are not healthy and cannot seem to give love the way God intended. This is most unfortunate. I pray for you now and some day I pray you know how much you matter.

-If you’re mad that I believe dads have so much influence, that’s okay. It’s okay for people to have different opinions. God made man the head of the house. It’s HIS design. Not mine. And He’s big enough for you to question Him about it. Lots of things God designed get messed up when we try to change what He made and make it how we think we want it to be. God made us for different purposes but our souls are equally valuable. Just ask Jesus.

-And YES it’s also VERY important what moms say AND what they don’t say.

-People who are looking for an argument and want to hate on me for writing, God has such a bigger purpose in this life for you. I pray He leads you to find it. And also, you matter.]

 

 

[MOST IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you have been molested or raped,

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.]

 

 

Only God knows the inside of each marriage.

We saw a couple in a store one time. The wife started speaking louder and sounded pretty upset.

To my husband it seemed that she was upset without much reason. He didn’t see or hear anything before that so she probably was overreacting.

To me, it was obvious that she was exhausted from the broken communication between the two of them.

We neither one ever found out what was the reason for their argument that day several years ago.

But marriage has been under attack since Adam and Eve.

We want to blame.

That woman…

That snake…

Whatever has happened (and it looks different in each situation) HOW do you find the way to truly forgive and still live with someone who caused such damage?

The enemy wants to separate and isolate each of us and he does this in about a billion custom-designed, clever ways (including all those things we run to for imitation comfort.)

Here’s the best answer I can find.

 

“You want to make this a fight of flesh and blood.

But it’s not.

It’s spiritual with the powers of darkness.

The enemy is AFRAID of what YOU can truly become.”

-the movie King’s Faith

 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. -Ephesians 6:12

 

Prayer. And The Incredible Power of The God behind the prayer.

 

God, ONLY YOU KNOW the inside of each marriage. Please heal broken lives and hearts. Please revive and make stronger what has been under attack for so very long.  Please let Your words be spoken and let us see each other with Your eyes. In Jesus’ Name, please God, Amen.

 

[P.S. I’ve found this helps with more than just marriage. I try to remember this now when I’m upset with anyone or any situation: There’s probably ALWAYS more than we can see.]

[Note:  Forgiveness and staying daily in a dangerous situation are NOT the same things (though there are those who disagree.)  I will ALWAYS pray for safety for everyone. If you need to get out, I pray for you to get out safely.]

 

 

I’m going to write a story about cheese.

I love cheese.  Cheese is yummy.

The end.

 

Critic#1  Why isn’t she writing about crackers?

Me:  Because this is a story about cheese.

Critic#2  She probably hates crackers.

Me:  No. I actually like crackers and I even like crackers and cheese together.

Critic#3  So why can’t she just like crackers by themselves. She’s probably got a thing about single people, too.

Me:  Um…. What?

Critic#4  She hates crackers because she’s probably racist.

Me:  Wow.  Um…  No. Where’d that come from?

Critic#58  She probably hates flour and flour is in birthday cakes and I heard she cuts birthday cakes.

Critic#437  She probably doesn’t even like cheese.

Critic#512  Why isn’t she writing about Jesus? She usually writes about faith in Jesus.

Critic#513  Bleu cheese is the best. Bleu cheese has feelings, too.

Me:  …I’m actually writing about cheese.

Critic#536  She doesn’t want me to be happy.  If she wanted me to be happy she’d have drawn a picture of cheese.

Critic#541  Sup?

Critic#543  She must be a racist, cracker hating, birthday cake smashing, cheese bashing person who only likes single people and didn’t even share Jesus today.

 

Me:  Wow.

 

This world…

And some day, when a homeless teenager looks into my eyes

Yesterday I stood on the edge of the Washington pier just looking at the water.

A big boat that said “Alaska Ferry” was just a few feet in front of me.

Every once in a while,

like for one moment every few months,

I experience an “I may throw up now because this is so much bigger than my whole life and what in the world am I doing?” moment.

Yesterday was one of those.

(I’m good now.)

About 7 years ago, God placed these words in my head, “YOU ARE MOVING.”

I’d love to tell you that I listened and obeyed that day…

but… not so much.

The thing is… I think we all have a bigger Calling than we realize and many times we miss it because we’re doing stuff WE want to do instead of waiting on The Lord and asking Him what HIS plans are for our lives.

It’s not that He can’t eventually help His plans work out for His Glory but choosing to really follow Him is a choice we each have to make for ourselves. The whole “die to ourselves thing” and “follow Him” are real, every day choices.

And that includes giving Him our time.

And I’m not talkin’ about just going around doing good things for people. That’s cool and there are many benefits to that but I’m talking about ASKING God to guide us.

If a coach stands on the sidelines and we don’t constantly ask for his help or listen to His coaching… what’s THAT about?!

Pray without ceasing.  Try this.  Pray to God all through the day and at night any time you wake up.  Prayer unlocks things that no other key can open.  (I know this because there were many weeks and years of my life that I didn’t pray much at ALL.)

The Alaska Ferry is HUGE.

I don’t even know what is across that water waiting for me.

But God put this fire in my heart and the pull is so strong that I am lookin’ like a fool, following Him – a thousand miles away from my comfort zone.

As I stood there, I wondered about people talked about in The Bible and when God showed them something bigger than themselves.

I thought about how a person felt when nobody else knew yet what God’s plan was.

I thought about the people watching Noah build that ark.

I thought about Mary who knew Jesus was in her belly but how silly did she sound when she told anyone else?

I thought about Joseph and that he didn’t believe her.  He didn’t believe so much that he was going to quietly divorce her.

Can you IMAGINE the loneliness Mary must have felt just then?

I thought about David going to face Goliath.

Was he afraid?

The very Power of God was in those rocks as David took down Goliath.

And THAT Power is with us today.

Jesus said The Holy Spirit is with us to guide us.

What does that look like today in 2016?  How does God “Call” us?

When someone tells you he or she feels called by God, who is to say it’s not truth?

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I know that until God did this work in me, while I did believe He COULD do this kind of thing, I had never experienced it for myself before.

So I can understand why some people would wonder if He really does still work in our lives like that.

He does.

Following Him is lonely.  But it’s worth it.

The Alaska Ferry costs $8,000 to $9,000 for our family of 4, the truck, and our camper trailer to go from Washington to Alaska.

God does not need money to accomplish what He wants to do.

WE may feel limited by money or other resources but God is not limited.

I cannot limit Him.

And it’s not even that.

I mean, it’s not even just the ferry getting us TO Alaska.  It’s after we’re there, then what?  God is MORE than capable of leading and providing land, help, money, people, and everything needed to do this work He’s put on our hearts.

The actual homeless camp or whatever it will be probably will cost millions of dollars.

And THAT reality makes the ferry tickets seem insignificant in comparison.

I don’t know HOW He’s doing this.

If I could SEE how, would that be called faith?

I cannot SEE how this homeless teen place can happen but He’s given me assurance that He’s doing this work with our family so we will keep praying and keep walking in faith as He leads.

And some day, when a homeless teenager looks into my eyes asking for some reason to live, and wondering if anyone loves her, I will read this blog post to her and tell her God put her in my heart before I ever met her.  And somehow He will make it all enough.

And I will tell her I almost threw up yesterday standing by the water wondering how God will finish this work He’s started in me.

I will tell her how God moved mountains and turned our lives upside down just to move our family to celebrate her life.

I will tell her I’m sorry I wasted time not understanding that SHE was why God’s message of “YOU ARE MOVING” was so important to listen to.

She needed a safe place to stay and people who would care what happens to her.

I will pray with her and hold her hand while we ask for God to lead her life and show her His plans for her.

And I will praise Him there, living more than a thousand miles away from my comfort zone (maybe almost throwing up.)

 

If anyone treated us like we sometimes treat God we’d want a restraining order.

(Original title: I love you more than anyone else in the whole world.)

Imagine for a moment…

 

We don’t talk much but…you mean everything to me.

I talk about you all the time.

I know everything about you.

Like, I know where you went and what you did and who you were with.

I talk about your friends.

I quote stuff you said.

I made a shrine to you.

I even tattooed your child’s name on my body.

Isn’t it sweet?

(Stay with me here. God has this stirring in my heart and it’s been tough to think about.)

Your son died and

I even wear the emblem of how he died as a symbol of my devotion to you.

It’s cool with you that we never really talk, right?

(Creeped out yet?)

Not sure about how you’d feel but all that would make me want to get a restraining order.

If any person treated us like we sometimes treat God, we’d probably be calling the police.

 

Talk with God. He’s listening. He loves you. (And He does NOT want a restraining order.)

 

 

 

So I am letting go of my pride and asking for help.

[Very Important Note:  Years since this was written, Tony said he now wants “NOTHING to do with THAT blog or any of the money” from it. However, my two daughters and I believe about this Alaska homeless place and until and unless God shows us differently, the money raised will go to help support us as we wait in faith on The Lord’s timing. He’s teaching us more every day. I am letting this blog post remain because the emotional and verbal abuse we have dealt with over the years as he has relentlessly persecuted me and the kids for our faith has almost taken my life and greatly caused heartache in both girls and he admits here that his pride was the thing in the way and I cannot say I disagree. May God bless you as you wait on God to do what ONLY He can do with you and in you.]

Tony wrote:

I have not really wanted to ask for money because I guess I have not seen myself as being on a mission but just moving.

At first I guess I thought I could do this (well, the move part) with my little, tiny job, but God has shown me that none of this is me.

So I am letting go of my pride and asking for help.

I have come to the realization I am on a mission.

This whole trip has been a mission and I can’t do this on my own.

Kerri has asked for and gotten support from a few people and my brother-in-law set up a GoFundMe account and donations were brought that way.

We are very thankful for all the support we have received including prayer support because that’s where help comes from.

I am not sure why but it seems God does not want us driving through Canada. We have been in three times, and each time we have been stopped for different reasons. It seems we are supposed to take a ferry or ship everything.

Any way I look at it it’s going to cost between 8 and 9 thousand dollars. I have spent every dime I had saved, every dime we made selling our stuff, and all the donations to get us to this point.

We are fine with the everyday living expenses because this great job God blessed me with where I can work from home (wherever home may be) takes care of that. And we can save some money, but it would take me a long time to save 8 to 9 thousand dollars.

The homeless place itself will cost way more than that but one step at a time is good.

I think my pride is the reason we have not made it there so far.

The more people we talk to from that area the more confirmation that there is a big need for what we are going to do. We are moving there to set up a shelter for homeless teens.

So I’m begging for help.

Please share this with your church and friends.

People can donate on this blog if they would like. (PayPal only takes a 3% fee but it looks like the GoFundMe people take out a fee closer to 10%.)

And more about what God’s been doing with our family is on this blog on the Alaska Homeless Teen Center Stuff page here.

Thank you. Tony

And more of our walk of faith is here.

Donate via PayPal here.

Homelessness is really REALLY not fun.

It’s a whole bunch of loss.

Homelessness is lost shoes, lost computer cords, misplaced kitchen bowls, ruined papers, and broken pieces all over the place.

For a moment I missed the regular life I’d known where I (thought I) knew what tomorrow would look like but…

The thing is that we often fool ourselves into thinking we know and have some kind of security or some kind of “familiar” because it feels good to think this but the truth is that nobody knows what tomorrow holds.

Even when we try to plan our days and months, it’s a façade and we spend energy where really we have very little control.

Following Jesus means me giving up control.

I had a moment a few weeks ago where I broke down and let go of all the tears that needed to be set free.

When I pack to move, I pack as efficiently as possible and mark the boxes so that people who may help carry boxes later when moving in can easily take them to the closest room. It only took several years of moving before I started doing this but it helps so much and I’m glad to have finally learned this moving tip.

When I was a little girl, my room was clean. I like it clean. I like things in the best places they go and to be organized.

For the past 3 months (2 years, rather, since we began praying for God to take control and show us His Plans for us) our world has been rocked and we’ve been led through tests (some we pass easily and some not so much) and loss of friendships, found out that support isn’t always in the places we’d think it would be, and that homelessness is REALLY not fun.

It feels like my life is upside down and yet we all have peace.

As a mom and wife I want to make my space “home” for my family but it’s hard to do that when our belongings are scattered for so long.

Today I’m asking for prayers. We have a few more boxes to go through to get moved into this 3^rd RV. The rest of our things are in a tent beside us and the weather guys say it’s going to storm this weekend. (It’s been about 3 months since the trailer tires were in a ditch and a towing company pulled us out.)

The first RV was totaled by that towing company. (Let that sink in.)

Then we were homeless for a month.

A friend I met online , Kathy Thompson Ellis, wrote, “Looking at your situation from the outside, from the planning and work involved in just leaving and getting on the road to having faith that God is leading you to this ministry for the homeless, to you and your family becoming homeless… I am thinking Wow! and… almost Why didn’t you expect this? Jesus became human and experienced existing on this earth as a human before He could become the perfect savior. He said, leave it all to follow Me. My heart is breaking for you all but also rejoicing because if God is allowing this in your journey, He must have some incredible and wonderful mighty plans for you. Your current circumstance is no surprise to Him. It is part of His plan. He is holding you and will never let go. What an adventure! I don’t mean to sound condescending. In a way, I am almost envious because it is so obvious that God is doing a great work in you and through you. Keep on trusting. Keeping you in my prayers. He does His best work when we come to the end of our own strength and resources and have no one and nothing to rely on but Him.” (Check out Kathy’s blogs here and here .)

 

It was a comfort she said this and she’s right. Doesn’t it make sense that God would lead us this way so that we can be better equipped to help and love on people He’s leading us to serve?

When any good father gives his child a job he will provide what is needed to do the job (or help him find out how.) How much MORE will God equip us to do the jobs He’s planned for us when we ask for His help?

We stayed in hotels about 10 days with insurance money then I prayed, “God, if there’s a family we can stay with please let us know. Please provide?”

Of course I prayed this while standing safely in a hotel room and felt like a fool asking God to provide when He was CLEARLY ALREADY providing (including the first RV and truck to pull it.)

He protected us from a storm during those days that, if we’d been driving, could have blown us off the road.

That storm had knocked down trees and taken electricity from houses miles around for several days.

We had not even heard the storm because we were safely in a hotel room away from the danger.

And I was asking God to provide.

I can just imagine the way He was probably looking at me. “My sweet child… you’re so cute.”

I went on, “Thank You for providing. I do see that You’re providing. I’m just asking because we had stayed in many parking lots for free and then several times for less than $30 a night and now every night is about $130. So if there’s a family who needs a house sitter or has room for us please show us.” (Currently, He’s led us to a place for $16 a night and a neighbor who doesn’t want to talk about Jesus. That’s okay. God’s got us right where He wants us and saying nothing is an option sometimes. He still works through us even by just using our presence – and even sometimes, our absence – for Him.)

It was that moment God put it on my heart and reminded me that He is God and He does not need money to get things done. And that He’s leading us to people and the relationships are what it’s all about.

The next day was Sunday and we’ve prayed about where to go to church since way before we began this move from Texas to Alaska to open a homeless teen place.

He led us to a Chinese church.

There are a lot of things people say to each other at church.

“Want some gum?” “How’s life?” “Do you guys want to go to lunch?”

We’d shared a tiny bit with a few people about the towing company and the RV tires had been stuck in a ditch but had not shared at all what I’d prayed in the hotel.

A sweet Chinese man walked out of a sea of people and suddenly was right in front of my face. “Do you need a place to stay?”

(In my head I was like, “Yes, Jesus, thank You for answering. That was cool.”)

But out loud I said, “Yes, please. We do.”

We stayed with this wonderful family for 3 weeks.

[ Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ]

 

We’d been homeless for 2 weeks before we knew for certain that the RV camper trailer was a “total loss.” The auto repair shop was busy and finally looked at it with us.

The insurance woman said, “We’ll just write this off and you can go home.”

“We don’t have home. This was our home.”

“What now, God?”

We hadn’t had credit for about 12 years but before we left Texas a banker had gone through months of our bills and we had been pre-approved for a house loan in Alaska. We called several places and prayed for days and then called this banker again and said something like, “I’m not even sure if you guys give loans for RVs but we’re just asking, seeking, and knocking, and wanted to know if this is an option.”

He told us to call a woman and when she pulled our credit she said, “I’ve never seen someone approved so quickly!”

We went from zero credit to perfect credit in about 5 months. In today’s world and how credit works that’s a miracle.

(The first RV loan was from a dealership in Texas who gives loans on campers from their lot only so when this was written off we were without a loan and without a place to stay. While there were 5 months of truck payments, the first RV loan had never been turned into the credit place because their office had been flooded so it didn’t count as far as credit bureaus go.)

We moved into the 2^nd RV for 2 weeks. The shower was never hooked up underneath and I felt like my stomach was inside out and that was another loss.

I prayed for 3 days. “God, please give me words. Please help me face this giant. They are a big company and I am just me. Please move this mountain.”

He did.

I talked again with the people who had sold us the 2^nd trailer. They said they wanted to fix it but the more I’d prayed the more I knew it wasn’t something that can be fixed. It had to be replaced. Water damage is serious and there was no easy way to fix it.

They replaced the whole thing.

Another miracle. (We pray God helps us write the details down some time because God’s Hand has been in this in a billion different ways.)

We get that some choose homelessness for many different reasons I cannot even know, but many do not.

A sweet new friend and I were talking. She felt moved to donate to this mission and during our conversation (while we were homeless) she told me how she’s struggling with, “Homeless people should get a job.”

I smiled at her.

She knew that my husband’s job of almost 18 years is traveling with us because he works from home (wherever home may be at the moment.) She realized it’s not always so simple and the conversation was a good thing for both of us.

I like to be organized. Not only were pairs of shoes in different boxes but they were in different countries!

When we ask God to reveal His Plans for our lives He (I can pretty much guarantee it) will lead us through test after test and chisel away the parts of our lives that are offensive to Him.

It’s actually quite painful but somehow VERY worth it at the same time.

He leads us to places and situations we’re uncomfortable and HAVE to trust Him to provide (not just physically, either.)

Even though today we may face a storm and more loss if the tent does not hold, we would not go back to life as we knew it.

This is more adventure than I’d ever asked for (and more than I ever wanted, to be honest) but following Jesus and walking in faith with The Holy Spirit with us is adventure worth living.

Today I’m asking for prayers for me and also I guess for you and that God opens eyes and ears to His Plans for your life and even when He leads you through something uncomfortable (and He will) He is Enough.

 

 

 

I remember a sweet teenage boy once asking me, “Are you JUST a mom or do you DO something?”

The camp showers were 3 minutes for 25 cents.

My daughters were each in a shower and I would hand them shampoo, soap, or put another quarter in when the water shut off. Probably nobody likes to run out of hot water with foamy soap still all over.

Suddenly my heart completely ached for kids I don’t even know who don’t have a mother to help them through life.

I was moved to tears for them again in that moment.

The Holy Spirit overwhelmed my heart.

When I was a little girl and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up all I really wanted was to be a mommy and a wife.

Most of the time when I answered that question I was met with disapproving looks as if that’s not enough of an answer.

But it is.

It is enough.

As it turns out it looks like I will be a mother figure to many homeless teens in Alaska. Who would care for them? Here I am, Lord. Send me.

THAT is pretty amazing and I’m honored that God is doing this with my life. I don’t have to know HOW He’s doing this but I will keep following this dream He’s put in my heart as He keeps opening doors. (You can read more about this in the Alaska Homeless Teen Stuff here.)

I remember a sweet teenage boy once asking me, “Are you JUST a mom or do you DO something?”

SUCH a cutie boy, right?!

I smiled and gently explained that being a mommy and leading, training, and loving children is a very big job and is very something. He smiled back and I could tell he was believing this was truth (and it probably wasn’t meant in a disrespectful way at all.)

There is NO “just” in being a mommy or wife. (I believe that if it was a paid job, either of those would be on the highest scale ever. I know we’re all willing to do these jobs without pay but it’s just something I think about when it comes to the money and finance world and how it would blow the executives, presidents of companies, doctors, and lawyers away if they could all SEE a mommy or wife’s worth written in dollar amounts.)

But EVEN IF I was “just” a mommy and wife, that is absolutely “enough.” Whether people feel Called to adopt or are naturally Called to be a parent, it’s enough.

When did the world turn into such an

I-need-to-be-entertained,

everything’s-a-competition,

if-I-like-cheese-and-you-don’t-I-will-be-offended,

it’s-all-about-me-selfish

kinda place?

(It’s not about you. It’s about Jesus.)

And life is NOT a competition. Your race is your race. Period. And wherever you are is just right for God to use you and your story.

Whatever God put in your heart to “be” when you grow up, I believe it’s enough.  And if people laugh when you tell them you want to be a dancer or singer or whatever, let them laugh.  (The way someone treats you is usually much more about his or her heart condition than it is about you.)

I believe in you and God believes in you.  He created you and knows your most intimate dreams. Sometimes we let the world tell us what we “should” be doing instead of following the dreams God wrote into us.

I heard someone say he wanted to be sure and use up all his talents and gifts so that there was nothing left by the time he meets God face to face. That’s pretty cool.

The job the world says you “should” have and the job God’s put on your heart to do may be 2 different things. (For some people it’s a blessing to have already discovered this and to shake off the world’s opinions.)

Believe in you.

People can go a long way just hearing someone believes in them. We are to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ (even when we’re thinking about ourselves.)

2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

[Note:  I can’t leave this without adding that physical needs being met aren’t the only needs that desperately need met. Emotionally being there and believing in them, modeling integrity in all things and sharing Jesus with the kids in our care are also VERY important. Some kids have physical needs met but are starving for a deeper love that God intended for a mother to provide.]

[More:

Something we do at our house is called, “You are my favorite kid.”

I used to be a nanny and care for many kids. 2s and 3s are my favorite ages (and now, teenagers, too.) At one preschool job the most difficult child in a class of 24 3 year olds I taught was my favorite kid. Actually none of the other teachers enjoyed his company but he just had something special about him and I tried to be sure he knew I valued him.

We lived in Texas before this move to Alaska to open a homeless teen place. When my kids’ friends used to come over and they’d set the table or help in some way I’d say, “You’re my favorite kid.” (And it may only last 5 minutes til the next kid swept the floor or said, “I’m sorry” while looking into someone’s eyes and then that kid was the favorite kid.)

We’ve said this for years now and the other day my oldest daughter and I were talking. Everyone likes to hear that he or she is a favorite and many people never hear this in a whole lifetime. We are excited to get to take this favorite kid thing with us to the homeless teen place. Everyone there will get to hear “You’re my favorite kid.” (Sometimes my kids even say this to me. I love it!)]

What many SAY vs. What many actually seem to believe about God.

Many in Church: Lord, lead us.

Many Preachers: Go where God calls you.

Many Pastors: Walk in faith. Die to self. LIVE for Him.

Many Teachers: The Bible says to go into all the world and make disciples. Care for the orphans and widows.

Many Song Leaders: Lord, let us hear Your Voice. Speak to us.

 

Our Family: Hey, the coolest thing happened! We started praying a couple years ago and asking God where He wants to use us and He’s revealed something to us. We feel called to Alaska to open a homeless teen place! Isn’t that amazing that He really leads like we talk about and sing about and read about in The Bible?!

 

Church: I’m not sure about that.

Many Preachers: My advice is that you go check Alaska out first to be sure you like it. (Me: I’m VERY sure that is NOT how God calls anyone.)

Many Pastors: God doesn’t do that anymore.

Many Teachers: No He didn’t.

Many Song Leaders: We don’t really think we’ll “hear” His Voice. We just sing that.

Parents/Family: That’s nice.

Many Acquaintances: That’s weird.

Many Friends: That’s interesting.

 

Many Atheists and Agnostics:

THAT’S the coolest thing I’ve EVER heard! Tell me more.

 

Make no mistake.

God is alive and well.

He uses people and stories to touch hearts and lives all the time. And He does this in a billion different ways and it doesn’t matter what our past looks like.

He’s using this story He’s writing with us to restore people’s faith in Him.

We are going in faith that God is leading and is providing and He will go before us and make a way where we can’t SEE a way just like The Bible says He does. We’re going to make disciples and care for orphans. This is a dream He’s put on our hearts and it aligns very much with Scripture. We’ve witnessed miracles along this journey already; stuff beyond our power or income or capability or explanation.

It’s called living out our faith.

We’re laying down our lives and what WE want to do (dying to self like The Bible says to do) and asking God what HE wants us to do. We’re LIVING for HIM.

If we could SEE how He’s doing this homeless teen place thing in Alaska or if WE could do it on our own with our own resources that wouldn’t be called faith. It’s all about His Power and our obedience to what He’s put on our hearts. It’s way bigger than we are and our income and God knows this. If we worshiped money or put our faith in money instead of God we’d have quit before we started. And if we’d known our whole lives that this was His plan for us or saved our whole lives for this we STILL couldn’t make it happen at all like He can.

And we pray everyone chooses to experience this real life most fulfilling way to live.

Some doors can ONLY be unlocked with prayer.

God doesn’t say use good judgment without ceasing.

Or make intelligent choices without ceasing.

Or use wisdom without ceasing. (He does say to pray for wisdom and He will give it.)

He doesn’t say to read The Bible without ceasing.

 

He says to PRAY without ceasing. Try this.

 

He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever, and He led before The Bible was written or else The Bible couldn’t be God-led (which it is,) and He led during Bible times, and He still leads and works in our lives every day still now even in 2015.

Immanuel = God with us. He means it. He REALLY is with us and provides and leads.

Pray without ceasing. Try it. Give Him your TIME and just watch what He can do!

All eyes are on You, Lord.  Do what only You can do.

[Note: A common daily prayer in our home goes something like this. (Try it.)

God, please lead us today. Please show us who You want us to talk to and what to say and who not to talk to and what not to say. Please guide our day and let us not take control back. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.]

 

Jesus Candy

It’s Halloween.

Open your door.

Toss some Jesus Candy to people.

Start a conversation.

Invite them to church.

Pray over the candy before you hand it out.

For real.  Not even joking.

Like a prayer walk

only pray blessings for the people

who will blow bubbles with the bubble gum you give out.

Print a Scripture and tape it

to each piece of candy.

We are to go all over the world

to make disciples

and that is hard to do

when the door is locked.

People know that many Christians are famous for

sharing everything we’re AGAINST

but we’re not as famous for sharing Jesus in the most helpful ways.

 

 

It’s like this.

Sometimes we throw stones

at the adulteress

instead of being aware of

our own secret sin.

If we show her love, REAL TRUE love,

the kind of love she’s longing for

with all her heart,

then maybe,

just maybe she’ll want more of that

instead of the counterfeit romance that people offer her.

 

There is ONE night out

of the whole entire long year

that people flood the streets,

MAKE EYE CONTACT,

and say “Hello”

without thinking it’s awkward.

THIS evening is NOT the time to close the door.

The neighbors you pray for all year long

to get to know Christ

are coming TO YOU

but the opportunity to invite them to know

more about Jesus

is missed because you don’t want

anyone to think you’re “celebrating” Halloween.

Opening your door and handing out candy on Halloween

does not mean you’re celebrating evil spirits

any more than going to a funeral

at a graveside service does.

This year my Mad Hattress, my Dear Fawn, and I

will be loving on people however God leads us,

with lights on, doors open,

and some Jesus Candy to share.

Be “that guy” and hand out Bibles if you want to

because you never know who needs one

but please don’t miss this opportunity

to love on and bless your neighbors.

Start a conversation.

Share Jesus with people

especially on Halloween

when sidewalks are covered with people

who are dying to know Him.

Be safe. Be blessed and Happy Halloween.

 

[Note: Do not send me hate mail

because I see a great outreach opportunity

and feel led to share about it.

I get it.

Some will be upset.

Some are always upset.

But someone may get to know Christ

because of open doors on Halloween

and I don’t want anyone

to miss any opportunity to share Him.]

People tell us, “It doesn’t work that way!”

God put on our hearts to build a homeless teen place in Alaska and we’re just going in faith that He’s really doing this.

People have told us, “It doesn’t work that way!”  (And more stuff like that.)

Us: In what way does “it” work?

Skeptics: “Well you have to have a church supporting you.”

Us: Who told you that?

The world says you have to have a church backing you or a committee or a degree in ministry or this or that to get ministry work done.

The world lies about LOTS of things.

Us to the Skeptics: So you’re limiting God?

God is NOT limited.

God is not limited to what a church or committee can do. God is not limited to what we think. And He certainly is not limited by the world’s understanding.

Look at what He did with some fishermen in The Bible.

In fact, time after time in The Bible God didn’t choose the wealthiest or most educated or famous or “most likely” people to do His important work.

Don’t you think He is MORE than capable of providing and leading today just like He did then?

He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

He still leads today. The problem is that we’ve listened and believed what the world says for so very long that it drowned out His Voice.

He promises He will take care of us and provide and He does.

When our family stopped asking other church leaders and preachers and pastors about how we can serve, and started asking God instead through prayer, He began opening doors that ONLY God can unlock.

We knew we were supposed to be serving somehow but time after time we were invited to just sit in the pew.

We were ALL made for more than that and when we don’t get the opportunity to serve somehow, a part of us begins to die.

In my opinion, churches (actually more groups and people and leaders, but ESPECIALLY churches) should be doing MORE praying over people to find their unique talents and gifts and LESS stopping people from serving but maybe that’s just me. (It’s not. But to prevent arguments, let’s say maybe it is.)

Prayer is where this happened for us and we pray the whole world starts to pray without ceasing and everyone gets to serve in the ways He’s planned for them since before they were born. He will show you. This, I know.

People know WE don’t have enough money or people or land or buildings to build this homeless place in Alaska.

But GOD’S resources are unlimited.

This is about HIS Power and our obedience to what we feel called to do.

It’s called walking by faith.

We are not walking by what money or provision we can SEE because if we did, we’d have given up WAY before we ever started.

God made us. When He knitted us together He knitted within us what our purpose is but we got so lost in the world that we lost focus of what He Calls us to do.

People listen to the world say, “That dream is too big!” or “That’s too impossible.” Or, “It has to look THIS way.” “That won’t work.”

With this Calling we feel, people have said, “Have you done your research?” “How many homeless teens are there?” Our answer, “If God’s Calling us there like we believe He is, we’re sure there is at least one and isn’t one enough?”

God talks about helping the orphans and widows.

God puts dreams in our hearts all the time.

The world is the place we hear something “can’t” happen or it’s a dumb idea.

Sweet Friend, the world is WRONG.

And if someone tells you about a dream on his or her heart, the answer is, “Let’s pray for more confirmation.”

God opens doors that no man can shut and He shuts doors that no man can open.

You’ll know because He’ll show you.

Don’t worry about opposition or people who can’t see your vision.

That’s okay.

If they were doing the work God has prepared for them to do then they wouldn’t have time to critique His work with you.

And do not even tell me that you’re too old or it’s too late to begin a ministry. God had work for people when they were 500 years old and now, in 2015, when we’re 60, we’re whining for retirement.

We are made to serve and work and why do we hear so many people who “retire” wanting more and going back to some kind of work?

We’re unfulfilled when we don’t have a purpose or work to do.

Your ministry could be right in your neighborhood or home or job.

The work for pay that you’re doing right now may not have been God-led. If you’re miserable at your job this may be the case because even during tough times, He gives peace when we’re doing the work He has for us.  If your job IS God-led and you’re miserable, maybe He’s used you there as long as He needed to and now is wanting to move you.  Ask Him.

He may Call you across the world.

Ask Him to lead and let Him show you His plans for you. To wake up every day and know your purpose is a most wonderful way to live.

God will ALWAYS have work for us to be doing and we can ALWAYS make a difference in this world for Him.

You have to believe.

“Here am I, Lord. Send me.”

She looked like life had been pretty rough.

She looked like life had been pretty rough and that drugs had her locked in a prison she probably didn’t build by herself.

She was standing by the gas station and I was still sitting in the truck.  I just looked at her for a moment and saw a hurting soul and wanted her to know her worth because somehow I could tell she wasn’t aware that she mattered.  Maybe nobody had told her or treated her as if she meant something.

She didn’t ask me for any money or anything.  I felt a tug on my heart and reached into my purse.  There were 5 Canadian coins and I felt compelled to give them to her, of course, not even certain if she’d be offended that I offered them.

She took them and thanked me.

All I said was, “You’re so welcome.”  Immediately as I took a step I wished I’d told her it wasn’t really me who moved my heart, but Jesus.  I regretted that the second I had I didn’t say this in words to her because He’s the One she needed to hear from; not me.

Within about 3 minutes she walked through the aisles to me and thanked me again.  I was so grateful to get to say, “Jesus is the One who moved me.  It’s not actually from me.  He loves you.”

She thanked me again and smiled.

Then a few minutes later, she walked back over where I was filling coffee cups for my now not homeless anymore family.  She said beautiful, real words that are worth MUCH more than 5 dollars (loonies, as Canadians call them.)

She said, “I’ve been struggling with my faith.”

I said something like, “Prayer is where doors open that no other key can unlock.  Please start praying and God will move in ways you know He’s there.”

She kept walking back to me several times to talk more about Jesus before I left and I thought to myself, “If I hadn’t paid attention to God nudging my heart to give and had only looked at her with my own human eyes and judged that she may spend the money on more drugs, I’d have missed the moment to share Jesus with her but because I listened and obeyed better I did not miss the moment.  (I did a little happy dance prayer in my head right then; just me and God.)

I did see that she used the money to buy breakfast but even if I hadn’t, it’s okay.

I am responsible for how God shows me to give and she is responsible for how she uses the money; for how she receives.

It’s that simple.

When we feel moved to give, give.  When we don’t, don’t.

But please always ALWAYS treat someone as if she matters because she does and you may be the first or only person she’s heard that from in a very long time.

In those moments a quick prayer can open a closed or hurting heart and invite communication to restore faith in The One who loves us most.

We’re not homeless anymore!

We’ve lived through

a tow truck breaking our RV trailer,

homelessness for a month,

prayers answered,

a new 2016 camper trailer with the shower pipes NOT connected,

now a third (2016 new) trailer,

problems at the border yesterday, and we’re still standing.  (A little shaken but still standing.)

We’d love to hear from you if this journey has touched your life. Financial support and prayer support and encouraging words are always welcome here.

Most of our blog posts have been on Facebook from June to September here.

We may need to take the ferry from Washington to Alaska.  Read more about this and let us hear from you.

To donate to this ministry and move in faith go here.

We Are Homeless

Walking through the store I couldn’t help but wonder, “Can they tell we’re homeless?”

“If they knew would they treat us differently?”

“Somehow I feel like I look dirtier but I know it’s not true.”

“I don’t really have a home.”

I can’t describe all the different emotions going through our family’s minds right now.

We are homeless.

We are homeless now and are on a mission to go help other homeless people in Alaska.

How that is going to work is completely in God’s Hands.

We knew when we accepted this Call that we are out of our comfort zones and in way over our heads.

In our weakness He is strong.

He’s our Provider and He makes a way where we can’t see a way.

And I gotta tell ya, I can’t see a way just now.

We found out yesterday that an accident the camper trailer was in 2 weeks ago has left us without a home.

We gave and sold most of our things, the rest was packed for a year as we were waiting on God’s timing.  We feel His Calling to move from Texas to Alaska to open a homeless teen place and we got to Canada. We missed the road we needed and the driveway we were turning around in kinda crumbled under the RV tires and we were leaning against a tree.  It looked still drivable until the towing company got us out of the ditch.  It’s been shaken and broken and totaled. (We feel kinda similar to that.)

We are homeless.

But we are not hopeless.

We’re okay.  And we know God will make a way when we cannot see a way.

I don’t have to have all the answers but we know The Guy who does and we’ll keep asking Him to lead.

Prayers are always welcome here.

There are probably as many different reasons people become homeless as there are people in the world.  We’ve heard people say, “All homeless people are drug users and liars.”  But that’s as silly as saying, “Everyone with a house is honest and clean.”  Neither is truth.

I was moved to write this letter.

~~~
Dear Homeless Person,

YOU are braver than probably anyone I’ve ever met.

The stamina it must take for you to live through each day is something that most people cannot begin to comprehend.  The not knowing is more than exhausting.  The courage it takes to be homeless is beyond my ability to describe in words.

When people look at you as if you are “less than” I know you already understand that people just do not know what they do not know.

If there is anything I can say it is  please  do  not  give  up.

You matter.

Prayer is where The Best help is available.

I get that some would say that’s too cliché.

But it’s the truth.

No matter what anyone takes from you or happens to you, God really is with you and He really does care.

If you could tell the world 2 things we’d like to know so that people become more aware of how you feel.  (My 2 things are: You do not know what you do not know.  And: Please be kind.)

And if you could ask for 2 things what would they be?  (Mine would be: a shower and: a safe place to sleep.)

I don’t know how to get a home for anyone and we are going through only a little of the life you know well.  But we care and just wanted to write you a letter to let you know it.

In Him,
Kerri Valor
It is all about faith.
Check out what we have shared from June to September here:

Donate to this mission here: